Mey's Journal

Mood: Worried

Last night, I was watching tele and I received a text on my mobile from my big brother asking me to get connected on Skype.  I was watching a good programme so I sort of ignored him saying 'Dont you have any other friends to talk to!?' (we always joke like that!), and he replied he needed to talk to his sister.... so I grabbed my pc and got connected cause I knew something was wrong.

And boy... was I not prepared for what he was gonna tell me.  First of all, work.  My dad's printing business for which my brother is working for is doing really bad.  And when I say really bad, I really mean bad.  The banks are knocking on the door all the time asking for money and they have been struggling for a good year now.  So he is feeling really down about it and my dad I can imagine is also in a turmoil. 
Then he carried on telling me that he and Camille, his partner of 15 years with which he has 3 children, has been hiding a lot of things and is apparently seeing someone.  He told me that he found text messages on her mobile and he also noticed her acting very strangely at times.
A few years ago, Camille had an affair with someone she had met at work.  My brother was absolutely devastated and it really broke my heart to see him like that.  But all got sorted out, he took her back and for the past 7 years, it has been ok between them.  Camille seemed to have gone back to care for her family had two more babies and I could safely say that their couple was going strong.
Now she is doing it again with someone else.  My brother confronted her about it and there were tears and 'sorries' and 'dont worry nothing is going on'.  But when he told me a few details about what he'd found and heard and seen, I was like.'well... it does look suspisious indeed'.  And I'd hate to admit it because I love Camille, she is more than just a sister in law.  She is also one of my best friend, but I really think she is up to no good once more.

I really feel so sorry for my brother cause he really does not deserve the heart ache.  He is so good to her and she is once again trying to get a thrill somewhere else.  I know that she owuld never leave her family, but it looks like she needs to have this little scary adventure on the side to make her feel alive and wanted. 

It is comprehensible in a way.  You want to feel wanted and flattered because someone new fancies you.  But she will hurt so many people if she has an affair again.  Her kids are so family orientated and they always do loads together.  If she goes, she will broke their heart too.

I do hope nothing is going on and that she will come to her sense before anything bad happens.  This is to be continued!!

On top of that I spoke to my mum last night too before I talked to my brother and she told me she was very concerned about my sister.  My sister is 21 and has apparently been chatting to a guy on the internet and she is planning to meet him this weekend.
Which of course is very scary.  But the scariest thing is to think that my sister is stupid enough to do something like that.
She is a sensible girl and sensitive as well.  So why would she act like such an idiot!
I sent her an email last night to tell her that she better think twice about going this weekend.  I told her that if she really wants to meet him she should let him come to her!!!  I am really worried but again, this is to be continued!

And...yes... this is not over just yet, My mother also told me that my dad and his girlfriend are on the verge of splitting which is so sad cause they are good together.  But I think my dad is expecting far too much from his girlfriend.  They got together just a little 2 years ago after my mum and dad got divorced.  They love doing things together and get on really well.  When they decided to move in together nearly a year ago my dad thought he was kinda replacing my mum.  But Dany (that's his girlfriend) has not been joining in the family activities (I am talking routine family stuff).  My little sister and brother still live with my dad and dad feels like she does not want to care for them. 
And to me I understand Dany totally.  She has had two children, who are now married with kids and the last thing she wants is to start again with snorty teenagers who are being lazy and ungrateful.  As much as I love my brother and sister they can be extremely selfish and brats.  So I understand why Dany is sometimes doing her own thing and does not want to be involved in the family things... but my dad says that if she moved in, she should get involved.  Well maybe they should have waited before moving in together.... I really think my dad wants too much too quickly but I would not sare say that to him.... he can be very proud and stubborn sometimes and I dont want him not to love me lol... if you know what  mean!!

On top of all that (no no...it's not finished!), yesterday was the anniversary of the death of my dear uncle.  He died of cancer within 10 days of being diagnosed.  I miss him dearly.  I was only 52.  He was my mum's little brother.  So I felt a bit down yesterday!

Now on a plus note...(aaahhh some good news at last), my friend Laure-Helene with whom I was at bording school sent me an email and invited me to go to Paris where she lives for a long weekend.  Now I just have to convince hubby which I am sure will be ok cause that will mean he can also go away for a weekend with his friend Simon and go kite surfing somewhere hot!!  So I have something to look forward to!
And something else positive, I feel better about hubby today for some weird reasons.  I like him today...lol

I better go to work!!
Have a great Wednesday
Mey
-x-

PS:  Tonight is the two episodes finale of LOST....AAAAHHHHH I cant wait!!!!!
and...on Friday Aha are on tele too!!!  Whoo hoo..if only I was living in a TV set... it would be so much nicer!!

Mood: OK
Listening to: Film on tele.... dont know what it is

I am really pleased with myself.  I have done lots at work today and managed to really reduce the pile of paperwork in my in-tray....  Now I still have loads to do, but I feel satisfied with my day today!!

I am home now and I have Jack and his friend Oliver (Sarah'son) at home playing Zoo Tycoon on the computer.  They are so quiet it's really nice!!  I am gonna cook them a big nice roast chicken in a minute and will also do some nice veggies with that and Gravy!!  That should make them go to sleep nicely!!  Nothing better than a full tummy to make you sleep soundly!  Oh yeah.  I forgot to mention. Sarah is doing a 12 hour shift today (she is a student nurse) so I said I would have Oli overnight so she can stop worrying about him going to bed late and since she is not working tomorrow, she can have a laying cause she needs it!!

The weather in here is absolutely bollocks.  Not even cold not even hot, rain that is just spitting in your face and dark like it is the end of the day!  I hate days like this.  I rather have either proper rain like raining cats and dogs and even elephants or just snow, lots of it...everywhere!!  Or even better...bright hot day so I can wear my bikini and sunbathe in my garden!!  But I guess I'll have to wait for the summer!!

Anyway, I went home today to find my bare Xmas tree still standing in my lounge.  I asked hubby to remove it like a week ago! but it still there.  Looking really sad and wanting to die in piece amongst other Xmas trees waiting to be shredded!.  Mind you I am quite lucky cause the needles are not dropping.  And it still smells nice!  Hubby said he would have it out by tomorrow.  He better do it.... otherwise peace at home will be broken.
We have been fine in the last few days by the way.  He is still a numb nuts but we are working on it.  I told him we needed to be friends again and although he thought we already were (how ignorant can he be!!) he agreed with me!

I am soooo glad.... ER is back on UK TV screens.  Last night was the first episode of the new serie when Sam is frantically looking for her son.  Actually that episode was kinda boring but I can't wait for the next one!!  Lost is finishing on Wednesday with two episodes back to back and there again...I can't wait to see it.  I have been glued to the serie from day 1.  I can't wait to see how it ends
AND.....I know that desperate housewives is back soon too.  So again, this winter/Spring will be a must see TV for me.  Then in June, when it all stops, that will be when the weather will be nice and when I can go out with my friends and enjoy a few glasses of wine in a Pub Garden... see...all sorted!

Oh and another thing... I want liposuction for my birthday!!!!

I better put the chicken in the oven....that bird is not gonna cooked itself!!

Have a nice Monday
Mey
-x-

Mood: Lazy
Listening to: Extreme MakeOver Home Edition on Tele

I cracked it!  I finally cracked it!!  I know why my marriage is going down the pan.  Me and Hubby have stopped being friends.  And in the process it has becoming increasingly difficult to be lovers...well for me anyway!
We used to have a laugh together and we used to enjoy doing things together.  We have now become two people, living together, who cannot stand the side of each other...let's say I cannot stand him as much as he can stand me!!  We argue for petty things and whatever we do is irritating.  We are a typical husband and wife who have forgotten the essential in their marriage....friendship!

It's true.  You treat your friends so differently.  You just accept their faults and even laugh at things that would make you cringe if it was your other half doing it!  If you know what I mean..... ok...want me to explain that one!
When a friend burps for example, you laugh.  when it's your hubby, you smack him on the back of his head and shout: 'Pig!!'

So me and hubby have got to learn to be friends again.  And that means, go out to a nice restaurant for example and for me to listen to him and appreciate what he is saying without telling him what to do or giving him advice he does not want to hear, and him listening to me without feeling threatened I am saying things against him (cause he is so paranoid) and laugh at things I find funny!  I think he definately needs to work on the trust he should have for me...cause right now, it's kinda dead!!

Then when we have reached the friendship we are lacking, we can concentrate on the loving part....

Now if that does not work, there is no hope in my opinion.  But I am willing to try cause I am such a great person  ahahah

It's pissing down with rain today and that is so flipping annoying!  My hair will wave again!!!   We are supposed to go to a birthday party this afternoon for my friend's daughter Alana.  They said come at 3pm in the pub.  IN A PUB!!!! ... why in a pub.  The girl is 7!!  Why can't they have a little party at home!??  So anyway, we'll go cause Alana's dad is hubby's best friend (you can't separate those two!!) but I will not be drinking. Cause I am not drinking alcohol for a whole month...then after January I will allow myself to have a drink for special occasion only and with modertation.  As for smoking, I am quitting for good.  I will make sure I am not even smoking for special occasion or even just because I am on holiday...that used to be my excuse!!
Anyway, I have bought Alans two little presents from Ebay but of course they have not arrived!  Mind you, I have only ordered them on Thursday night!!.  I bought her a Hello Kitty pillow that she's got to stich herself (cross stiching I think it is) and a Pet tree.  I got one from a friend over Christmas and they are the cutest thing you've ever seen.  Little cactus trees in a plastic globe which is actually a keyring!!  So hopefully I'll receive all that next week.  I got her a card though... so not all is late!!!!

I need a coffee.  Have a good sunday people!!
Mey
-x-

I am really not in the mood.  I have a lot to say but I can't be borthered to type... you know what I mean.

Hubby has been an absolutely nightmare lately.  So much so that I actually talked to him about a separation.  And of course when he heard that he went all spasmo on me and said that everything will be ok....  yeah yeah. Change the record will ya!!
So he went to see his doctor yesterday and came out saying he felt 100% better and that he knows he will be fine and that we will be fine in the process!
OK... let's see I thought.
Yesterday afternoon I was online and he called and he told me he found my blog.... my other one, the one I have on my MSN profile.  I dont write as much on there at all.  But I did write a few things and a few things about him too.  So I had to go on there and delete it all before he read all the entries!!
I thought:  Great.  He is gonna give me such a hard time when he's gonna get home tonight!  But no.  He said he was fine about it.  He said 'Not a big deal'  I thought 'WOW' maybe he is changing.  Good.... time to tell him about Sarah's birthday!
Sarah will be 30 on 23rd January and we have planned to go out for a meal in a local restaurant on the night.  It'll be a quiet one cause it's on a Monday night and we are all working the day after so me, Sarah and Donna can have a nice meal together without getting too drunk. 
But then Sarah said that she would like to go to a nice cocktail bar on the Saturday night.  And when Hubby asked if everybody was invited I said 'eerr.. no... it's just me, Sarah and Donna'
And then it started.  He gave me grief because he said I was gonna flirt with strangers and that when I have a few drinks I am out of control etc etc....   I was so outraged that he thinks such thing of me.  Like I am a proper slapper when I go out.  Who does he think I am!!!  How insulting!!!
I told him he was being a complete arse and that he was worrying about something that was not happening.  I told him I would behave and not speak to strangers but that was not good enough.

In the end I just sulked and told him his BIG change was very short lived!  I told him to fuck off.  So there!

Anyway, he apologised....once again and said he will make an extra effort.  But as I said before, the clock is ticking and I will not be as forgiving as I have been in the last few years.
2006 is the year where my life will take a turning.... whether it is on the same road, or on a complete different direction is enterely up to him. 

Anyway.  I hope everybody is ok after the Xmas festivities. 
I better go and have a shower.  Have a nice weekend everybody!
Mey
-x-

Listening to: Will and Grace on tele