Mey's Journal

Aug 31, 2005 at 16:51 o\clock

31st August

by: mey2

Mood: tired but happy

Can you believe it!!  It's already the last day of August.  I just feel like time flies so fast I can hardly stop and relax!!

I had such a hard day at work.  Although I worked less hours than yesterday, I managed to really sort out my workload and had a look at how long it will take me to finish it all.  If work stops coming then it will take me about a week and a half... but obviously work is still coming adding to the pile I already have.  I have weeks of work ahead of me!!!  I dont look forward to that!

Yesterday Sarah did not come to my house for a chat.  She called instead to say she was overloaded with work and was not able to come over.  But since we work at the same hospital, I suggested lunch together and that is what we did today. outside the building... on the grass...Twas lovely!!

She told me that she was really fed up with her partner who was forever going out and never coming back when he was supposed to.  She also suspects him to be doing drugs.  She has no proof but she coiuld tell with the way he was acting.
So last week she told him she had enough and she said to him they needed to split up.  Since then he has been as sweet as a lamb.  But she is taking none of it.  He is supposed to come and talk to her tonight and he will prbably beg her for her forgiveness (he's done this before)  but I felt she had really had enough.  She is trying so hard to concentrate on her nursing course and she really want to do well.  She doesn't need him to make her life hell!  So I said I would support her 100% whatever she decided (cause he is a friend of ours too) and that if she needed to stay with us for a while with her son, then that would be no problem at all.

I also told her about Karen and what she had said about her and she said to me... 'Oh wait till school starts again and I will give her my evil look'  LOL.... I agree with her.  Sarah has never done a thing to Karen and she does certainly not deserve to be talk about like that!
I have to call my friend Sam now... I need to go to Ikea and onder of she would like to join me! and also for a little chat!!!
Hope you all had a good day
Take care

Aug 30, 2005 at 18:03 o\clock

30th August.... Back at work!

by: mey2

Mood: hungry tired but happy

Well today was my first day back at work after a whole month of holiday.
I was gutted this morning when I knew Hubby was staying home with Jack while I was going to work and had to prepare myself to a massive workload that would have accumulated during August.

I arrived at work and was greeted by Amanda, a therapist who said happily 'Welcome back!!!  we've missed you so much' so that was nice and then she started to explain to me how bad the month had gone and how relieved she was to see me back behind the desk, answering the phone!!! Great... they missed me cause they needed me...LOL

She worked a little bit then left for the hospital wards.  So I was by myself all day with my radio on and the phone didn't even ring!!!!

I had lunch with my colleague Erika who works in the other office next to mine and we had a good chat and gossip but apart from that... no contact with an other human being till I left work at 4pm to pick up Tom from nursery.
I picked him up and shock horror... he had some face painting done on himself and he is absolutely filthy!!  But I had the pleasure to have Batman in my car (they painted a bat on his face!!)

Now hubby has gone to the doctor  cause he is suffering badly with his knees at the mo and we think it may be something like artheristis which is not really good news.... he's only 40!!

My friend Sarah is about to arrive.  She is having a hard time at home with her partner .  I will know more later but I know she is not a happy bunny.

I better go... I am absolutely starving and I need to munch on something... might have something light though.. m'not gonna spoil my lovely figure...LOL... (A girl can dream)

Oh... by the way.. me and mum have made up... which is good news!!

Have a nice day all.....

Aug 28, 2005 at 11:23 o\clock

Karen's reply to me!

by: mey2

Mood: COOL

My comments are in red!!!... with smilies
I feel I need to let you know a couple of things despite you not wanting a reply, I needed to say the following..  HERE WE GO!!!!
The reason I didn't go out for Hubbys Birthday were for various reasons, primarily it being Petes Birthday too.  We had planned to go out on the night but his mum couldn't babysit so he wanted a meal at home.  I couldn't leave him at home on his own could I? ESCUSES ESCUSES ESCUSES!!!  I have spoken to Hubby about this.  HE DOES NOT REMENBER  I will be honest,LET'S  I would of felt uncomfortable going as I wouldn't have known anyone.  I would feel uncomfortable going in to any environment feeling like this if I didn't know anyone, and if I had come, as I say it would of meant leaving Pete home which I didn't think was fair. Your friends were not the reason for me staying at home that night! THE REASONS WASNT MY FRIENDS BUT IT WAS CAUSE SHE DIDNT' KNOW ANYONE THAT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO COME TO THE PARTY... SHE CONTRADICTS HERSELF IN ONE SENTENCE!!
I also want to clear up about me slagging off your friends..the only person I ever made comment about was Sarah.AND THE REST!  I don't deny that, I felt extremely left out and uncomfortable.  And also all I said was that I didn't think she likes me for what ever reasons. THAT WAS ALL IN HER HEAD, SARAH HAD NEVER EVER SAID A THING ABOUT OR TO HER AND I TOLD HER THAT MANY TIMES BUT SHE DISMISSED IT ALL ALONG  I don't know who else I have been mean about? EEERRR... SAM AND SIMON!! I see with hindsight I have been stupid but our friendship meant alot and I guess I felt threatened? I can't answer why, because I don't know. OR YOU DONT WANT TO SAY CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU'RE WRONG!
The reason I sent you that 'guilty text' yesterday was because I was distraught.  Some bad stuff has been going on with Jo HER SISTER and I wanted to talk to you about it, thats all.  I WONDER IF THIS IS YET ANOTHER ESCUSE!  It wasn't intended to make you feel bad at all, it was about how I was feeling and was not inteneded to influence how you are feeling.  CAN I LAUGH NOW!!  You know about Jo and I wanted to talk so that was what that was about. I do believe that sometimes you take me the wrong way, playing with your feelings?  Clear example, I just needed you to listen, thats all. I knew I shouldn't of done it. YOU ARE RIGHT THERE!
You don't have sole responsiblity for my happiness  I NEVER SAID THAT and I don't want you to think you do, I NEVER SAID THAT EITHER  but I do miss having you around. I think we both are guilty of alot of ups and downs, EEERR... YOU MORE THAN ME  but I feel you have made out its all me.  I don't think thats fair, but you are entitled to your opinion WELL THANK YOU  and I am not denying that I have been out of order at times.  SEE... TELLING THE TRUTH IS GOOD!!
I would also like you to know that I am a very sensitive, emotional and caring person. BLAH BLAH BLAH  You must remember I have been there for you loads WHAT!!!.... WHEN!!???!!   so please don't make me out to be a complete bitch because I am not. WELL OK... IF YOU SAY SO....AHEM  I do not have 'issues' with my life, LOL LOL LOL   I find that very condescending and unnessesary. OH PLEEEEESE!!  I am just an emotional fool AWWWW.... PLEEEEEESE   and like you have told me lots of times I should toughen up, and maybe thats what I will do. THERE YOU GO....
I would like to know how I have played with your feelings? WORK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF LADY!!  Perhaps you will tell me one day. NOPE  I would also like to say that if you felt so bad about our friendship and wanted it to work you could of spoken to me or mailed me if you felt you couldn't say what you needed to say? WELL I DID DIDN'T I!!!   I've never been that unapproachable surely? WELL YOU ARE A BIT CAUSE YOU ARE A CRAZY LOONY!!
 I cannot force our 'friendship' and I will move on.  GOOD GIRL
  I am just sorry it has come to this... OH WELL... IT'LL PASS

Aug 27, 2005 at 11:14 o\clock

My last email to Karen

by: mey2

Mood: Got a cold... coughs a lot and blow my nose too!

OK... yesterday I got yet another text from Karen.
It said: U probably dont want to hear from me, but I keep trying to text you then stopping. So sad everyday that we are not friends.  I miss all the good things, chats etc. Having a crap day. Probably another wasted text but I dont care. xx

I felt sad and bad cause I thought.  Jee... that girl is really messed up.  So I decided to lift the ignoring method and wrote her an email last night.  This is what it said:

Dear Karen
I think I need to tell you a few things and to explain why I have been ignoring your texts.
Your last email to me was just too much.  Since January, our "friendship" has been going down hill.  I thought it was actually over in February but I gave you another chance.  Then I was getting constent texts from you about the fact that you didnt like my new friends.  A lot of people around me were telling me to not carry on with you.  But I ignored them and always wanted to give you more chances and hoping you woud be better with me.  But the "friendship" was becoming harder and harder.  You decided not to come for Hubby's 40th not because you were going out, not because you could not find a baby-sitter, but because you didnt like my "new friends".... you have never met them and never gave them a chance!!
You said some awful things about my friends which were really unecessary and unfair and it really upset me.  You seemed to forget that they were friends I cared a lot about and it was not really nice to hear you talk about them that way.  I would never dream about doing this to your friends!
Our "friendship" had changed since February, for very good reasons for me but you seemed to have forgotten about what had happened and were annoyed with me because I was keeping some distance from you.  You didnt seem to realise how badly hurt I had been about the fact that you had told Hubby things that almost broke our marriage up.
Your last email was hard to swallow as you accused me of using you and dumping you.  You accused me of having replaced you.  You were trying to make me feel guilty about the fact that I had new friends... but what is wrong with having new friends??!!  You told me I didnt like Pete (<<her partner).   Isn't it the other way round??!!  He does not like us!  You bombarded me with accusations of me not trying hard enough to save the "friendship" when I felt that all along I was trying as best as I could despite all the circumstances and you were just making it harder to cope with!  You also told me you were upset because I was not confiding in you anymore.  Do you need me to remind you again why?!
For the past 6 months, I was becoming more and more stressed out about it all.  I had to be careful about what I was saying to you as I was worried it would upset you.  I just could not carry on like this.  Your last email made me realise that the whole thing needed to stop.  A friendship is not supposed to be hard work.  This one had become really hard.
Your text of the other Wednesday where you were writing I did not care, I hated you and that I was the one who was not trying, was also really hard.  I felt you twisted everything and made me look like I was the bad guy, like I was the one who finished it all.  But I was not the one who sent you THAT email saying all those horrible things.
Then your text of today was about playing the Guilty card.  Making me feel bad because I was ignoring you, you were sad, you were missing our good times and you were having a bad day.
I feel you have been playing with my feelings like this for a long time and there is only so much I can take.  That is why I have decided to tell you that you cannot treat people like this and make them feel good one day and bad the next.
So I am sorry to have to tell you all this but I feel you need to move on now.  You seem really unhappy and I really dont think it is my fault.  You must have a lot of things to sort out in your life.  It  looked like this "friendship" was just getting you down all the time and I suppose that is why you had fou
nd it so hard to cope with me having new friends.  But I cannot take the responsibility of making your life better.  I have to worry about mine and my family.  There is no way we can be friends like we used to be.  Too many things have happened and I am sure you will realise that.
You have other friends and I am sure you will be alright, but as for me, I dont want to carry on.  I want to move on and not come back. It is hard, but I need to do this. 
Please do not feel you need to reply to this email.  It's better if we stop now. I do not wish to have another battle of words.
Take care
<<<< my real name... but shhhhh!!
I do hope that now is the end of it cause I cannot stand this any longer.  She really needs to get on with her life.  I have and I am having fun with my "new friends".... Fingers crossed.  the chapter is now closed!
Do you think I was too hard with her???
Have a good day

Aug 26, 2005 at 10:41 o\clock

26th August

by: mey2

Mood: Happy

I have been so busy Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons I haven't had a chance to come here to write or read....!

Well a couple of days ago, I was so shocked and...let's say... disappointed by the 6th book of Harry Potter
Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons, that I spent most of my day looking at website Upgrade your email with 1000's of cool animations about Harry Potter and try to read what on earth was going on.  I also wanted to see what other's opinion were so I joined the forum of the Leaky Cauldron which is one of the most popular HP website and had discussions there about the book.  And I am glad to say that a  lot of what I read put my mind at rest!!Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons

But enough of the boring stuff. 

The night before last, I was cooking dinner and Hubby said to me: "my mum made a comment about you not calling her during the whole month of August.".  So I was like.... bugger Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons... I dont really wanna see her but hey... I gotta make an effort!
So I called her straight away and since I had an appointment to the doctor
Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons the following morning I asked her to come to look after my eldest while I was at the doctor and then I said that we could go in town and have lunch together with Jack (my eldest!) and of course she said Yes!Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons
So yesterday morning, I went to see my doctor and told her that I had felt so much better since she prescribed to me my happy pills and she was pleased to hear that.  So she prescribed me some more for another 2 months .... Yeeeehaaaaa!!!!Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons

Then I asked her about some other stuff.... but actually I will discuss this another time!  So I went to the chemist to get my pills and then went home. 
I had a coffee with mum in law (MIL) and we set off to go in town.    I suggested we took her car
Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons cause mine is almost out of petrol...but I didn't say that to her... and I thought she could pay for the car park too... my MIL is loadedUpgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons!!  We took Jack to the brand new Library that just opened and I have decided to register both my boys to it... unfortunately I didn't have the right documents with me so we'll have to go later. 
Then we walked past a nice Italian restaurant  and I asked Jack if he fancied a big bowl of Spaghetti bolognese  (he calls them And he jumped up and down shoutting Yes yes yes... so I assumed he wanted some!  We had lunch there and it was nice only I had to listen to MIL rambling about the usual stuff like the latest jumper she bought at such a good price, and her house is Spain that is SOOOO beautiful, and her friends that are sooooo boring  and about her ex-daughter in law (I'll have to tell you about her one day) that is soooooo pissing me off  cause she's got everything given to her on a golden plate and takes the mick anyway!  Anyway the pain I endured during that meal was well rewarded cause MIL said she would pay the bill!  So free ride to town, free carpark and free lunch.  The day turned out to be quite nice after all!!
Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons

Anyway, she took us back home and I had to go and pick up my other son from nursery and on my back to the house I got a phone call from my friend Sam.  She just got the keys Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons to her new house (much bigger than her small flat) and she said to me that Si (her hubby) had call my Hubby and that my Hubby was on his way there, so why didn't I come too and see the new place.... PEEEERFECT I thought... I'll bring a bottle!!Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons

So I went home, got a few things and set off to her new place which is actually just down the road from me.  We are closer now and I think this is the biggining of a lot of great nights!!

I arrived there and she took me on a tour of the house.  Her friend Diana was there so we introduced each other and then their neighbour came to say hi.  The guy neighbour called Steve I think was nice enough, but the girl neighbour called Leah was absolutly bonkersUpgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons.  In less that 3 seconds after introducing herself to Sam, Diana and myself, she told her she was leaving Steve but he didn't know it yet!  I was like...hey she let out a huge secret to 3 strangers... how mad is this womanUpgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons!!!  And that wasn't all... a few glasses of wine after she told us she was signed off work because she suffered from Anxiety, Depression, Agrophobia and something else which stunned Sam, Diana and me too.  We sort of look at each other thinking... what the heck is this woman aboutUpgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons!
When her boyfriend said it was time for them to go home and eat their dinner, she was holding on Sam begging her to come to her place for a drink.  But Sam, being in her new house, didn't want to go and beside our friend Mel was coming later on and we wanted to see her.  Anyway that Leah girl, she was like 'Please, please.... come to my place otherwise... He's gonna beat me up!!!'  That is when we really realised she was off her rocket
Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons and that she obviously was inventing the whole thing cause she didn't look like she was being abused, her boyfriend was the sweetest guy around and she obviously suffered from seeking attention any way she could!  We were glad when she left!Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons

So last night was really good.  We had a few drink, ordered a pizza and had a real good laugh.  We got home, a bit drunk but happy and today I am going there again to help stripping the wall paper Painter ... that should be fun!!

I hope everyone is ok... I shall read some blogs later on...

Have a good day

Aug 23, 2005 at 18:48 o\clock

23rd August

by: mey2

Mood: Happy!
Listening to: Tele's on

This is pissing me off big timeUpgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons... I wrote a huge entry and my pc went... BLOOPUpgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons... and I lost everything... BUT... I am in a good mood and I shall write it all again!!Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons
SO... what a relaxing Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons I WAS having today before my pc did the dirty on me!!!  I dropped my youngest to nursery this morning and then I dropped my eldest to his mate's house for the day.  So by 10am I was free of  kids and plenty of time to do a few things.Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons

My cleaner  (she doesn't wear that outfit BTW!!)  was at home so I didnt want to stay home cause it would be really weird for me to drink a nice coffee watching tele or reading a book while she hoovering under my feet!! 
So I decided to go to the post office to post a lovely top and socks I got from Gap to my lovely God-daughter.  But before I had to go to the bank and get some money...I was praying  my credit card would not get swallowed by the machine!  It didn't!

Then i thought... hey.. I have time.. let's have a nice latte Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons at the cafe across the road.  So i went to buy a trashy magazine and sat at the cafe and drank while reading about Makosi (Big Brother's housemate) who says she is not a liar.... yeah right!!, then I read about Jennifer Aniston fighting back against Brad... You go girl Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons!!! and then...OH.. I read about Kate Moss having worn a pair of Jeans more that 3 times over the last year!!  Oh the shame  on the girl!  Doesn't she know that when you are a celebrity, you should not be seen with the same clothe more than once!!!  Honestly.. the girl has no sense of responsibility and the world of celebrities is just going down with her!!!! 
It was so nice sitting there... watching the world  go by... well.... I was watching the cars
Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons go by but still... the sun was shining, the birds were shreaking (we have seagulls where I live, and these birds can't sing for toffee!!)

So anyway.. I then went to the flower shop across the road and bought myself some nice flowers  Daisies cause if I have to wait for my hubby to buy me flowers then I will probably have to wait till my funeral  Tombstone !!  I then posted my God-daughter's present and went home to put the flowers in water and pick up a few things before I had to go to the BIG post office  and pick up a letter  that I needed to sign for.  It must be my new credit card.  I still haven't open it but I felt the envelope and I am sure it's the replacement for the one I left at the supermarket the other week.  My head was not screwed up very well that day Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons!!

I then went to see my friend Sam for a spot of lunch
Upgrade your email with 1000's of cool animations and we had a nice chat.  Then I went to the DIY store to get myself a new ironing board  cause the one I've got is like falling apart... litterally!!  If I use it anymore, it will clapse on my feet... and that would hurt!

I also checked out the bikes Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons there cause I ain't got a bike and I want one, cause I love riding bikes... it's just so nice!  So I saw one which was nice and red with gear and all the trimmings and the price was £99 which is quite reasonable.  I saw other bikes for over £400 Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons and I thought... Jeee... I should make bikes cause I would earn so much money... I will be searching the net on how to make bikes and let you know how I go Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons!!! 

So I am gonna tell my hubby about the bike and hopefully we will buy it this week-end.  He probably will want one himself which will be great cause that means we will be able to take the kids on the seafront and ride bikes with them!!

Now, I am gonna have to get my son from his friends house then pick up my youngest from nursery and then go home and try my new ironing board... lucky me!!!
Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons
Just got a phone call from my hubby... he is off kite Upgrade your email with 1000's of cool animations surfing later.  He cancelled lunch with me today cause he said he was too busy but he is leaving work early to go kite surfing... Flipping HeckUpgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons... he's got a nerve... he better buy me my bike then... that will be his punishment!!!!!Upgrade your email with 1000's of emoticon icons lol

Now... what is your Fairy Name??!!!
My fairy name is Melody Velvet Sweetie-pie.
Take What's Your Fairy Name? by badasstronaut today!

I hope you all had a nice day.  See you later


Aug 22, 2005 at 12:10 o\clock

22nd August

by: mey2

Today it's raining!! 

After speaking to Shell yesterday, I was waiting for my friend Sam to arrive and I heard a noise upstairs... I went and my little one had been sick  all over the rug in his bedroom... poor bunny...

So I cleaned the sick .... yuk... and then I put the rug outside in the garden to dry cause I h
ad to use quite a lot of water and soap to get rid of the smell...

And of course, as I said above, it's pouring down with rain and the rug is still outside, in my garden, soaked!!
Aaaaah well... never mind! 

My friend Sam arrived yesterday with her daughter and she had had too much to drink.  But she was still speaking and walking so nothing that bad lol.
Anyway she had more drink with me and by the end of the evening, she was well out of it!
Our hubbys arrived from the kite surfing lesson well chuffed  (I think this sport is gonna turn into an addiciton for them!!) and Si took Sam back home.  Their daughter Lana wanted to sleep over so she is still here playing with my boys.  Sam texted me to say she was on her way to pick Lana up... that was over an hour ago  LOL.

She must be in a bad way this morning  lol.

Anyway... my hubby is in bed, suffering from tiredness  so he skipped work (he can.. he's the boss!!) and today I have the repair man coming to fix my dishwasher!!!!  Yeeeehaaaa... no more washing up for me.  My nails are suffering the consequences of warm soapy water and their are too soft now!!!  I need a manicure!!!  and a French one please!!

Anyway... I better go and read more blogs ... I have a few minutes with me!

Have a nice day

Aug 21, 2005 at 19:04 o\clock

Shell is to blame!!!

by: mey2

I was gonna read all your blogs but Shell and I have had a private PSP lesson over IM.  I heard Shell's voice today and she has got the sweetest accent!!  And she is soooooo nice...  And.... so clever too.  She really did well after just one lesson.  I am well impressed!

Anyway... I was gonna read your blogs but couldn't cause Shell needed me!!!  I will read them tomorrow... I promise!!!

Aug 21, 2005 at 18:07 o\clock

21st August

by: mey2

Mood: Feeling Better

Hey everyone!!!
I was so down yesterday.  I was nursing a huge hangover  and with my mum stuff and all I wasn't in the best of mood.  I slept for 3 hours yesterday afternoon which is really unlike me cause I never can sleep in the afternoon.

Anyway, I had a great time with my friend Sam in Friday night... nothing fancy, we just stayed home and drank wine  while our hubbys were talking kite surfing and pretending to be  At midnight I was dancing in my garden listening to The Cures Best What a sight!!

Today we took the kids on the sea front so they could ride their bikes and it was really lovely. Weather was nice and breezy  and it was good to have a bit of fresh air down my lungs!  Now I just came back from the pub where we had lunch with Sam and Simon... but my little one complaint of a tummyache so I went home a little earlier.  He is in bed now and hopefully he will sleep it off.  Hubby is gone with Simon for their third and final kite surfing session.  After that, they are qualified to kite surf anytime they want...  I shall prepare myself to a few lonely Sundays but Sam and I have already planned that whenever they would go kite surfing we would get together with the kids!!

I had an email  from my mum this morning.  It was one of those forwarded email with an address to go to and it was quite nice (here it is if you want to take a look: .  But I had to reply to that one and asked her "why are you sending me emails like these if you dont wanna speak to me anymore!!!"... I was angry!
Anyway, she replied to say that I was the one not talking to her anymore and that she loved me  to bits cause I was her daughter and that she didnt wanna be in bad terms with me.  She also said that we should never talk about Christian anymore but apart from that she was happy talking to me.
Well.... I CAN'T .... I cannot speak to her when I feel she is ruining her life under my eyes and I feel helpless.  So I am showing her that every single word I told her in my first email I meant them all and I cannot pretend to be alright with her after her being so hard on me when she replied to my first email......  I dont feel ready to talk to her.  Maybe later... maybe in a few days... or weeks... Right now, I can't.
To top it all, I had a dream about Karen last night  and she was re-entering my life and we were talking again.  I didnt like that at all and I remember thinking (in my dream) that I wished I had never let her speak to me again... so when I woke up and knew I was still free of her, I felt better!!

Anyway... I gotta read all your blogs .. I am late in doing that and I have a couple of hours before hubby comes home.  So that'll leave plenty of time to deal with you

Special Hug to Shell and Jackie for their warm support!!

Have a nice Sunday

Aug 20, 2005 at 12:26 o\clock

The story about it all!!

by: mey2

Mood: Headache (too much wine!!!)
Listening to: watching Extreme House Makeover!

OK... I thought I should tell you the whole story about my mother and her boyfriend.
Cause it's a little more complicated than story between Victor and Nicky of the Young and the Restless!  (I haven't watch that soap for a few years now... are those two still in there??!!)

I will be quick in telling the story to try not to bore anyone!!

OK.  My mum and dad got married in 1971.  My big brother was 1 and I was to arrive a couple of years after that.  When I was about 6, my mum met a guy called Christian at work.  They both got on very well and both had a passion for Poetry so they used to write each other little notes and that is when my mum realised she had fallen for him and decided to separate from my dad.  I cannot remember how long the separation lasted for but I have flashback of seeing my mum crying and pleading my dad to come back (my dad had moved out).  After that, my mum and dad were together for many many years.  When I was 11, my sister was born and when I was 14, my lil brother came to the world.  So we were pretty much a busy family with teenagers having tantrums, babies crying their eyes out and mum and dad seemed happy enough.
I then left France for England (I was 19).  After about three months there, my mum came to visit.  And that is when she told me she was having an affair with our neighbour Dan.  I was shocked that she thought it was a good idea to tell me about the affair.  I felt so sad for my dad.  I knew something so terrible and I knew that if he knew, it would break his heart.  I told my mum that I knew that my dad was jealous and possessive but the affair was not something I accepted.  She felt bad about telling me but that was that really.  She once said she regretted telling me but obviously no regrets in having the affair!  I know she carried on with her affair for a little while longer but then it stopped.  A few months passed and mum and dad carried on with their routine!
Next I knew was from my big brother who told me that my mum had been kicked out of the house by my dad and was living with him and my two lil sister and brother.  I was shocked!  It seemed that my mum had met Christian again and had started writing to him again (and him to her).  She then decided to start sleeping in the spare room and she was constantly arguing with my dad.  Until my dad found the letters Christian had sent my mum and he kicked her out.  She took the kids with her.  I went over there at that point for the wedding of a friend and was overcome with sadness when my dad cried in my arms. My dad who is such a strong person for me, who never shows much emotions that would make him look vulnerable, was crying in my arms.  I was so annoyed with my mum for putting us all in this horrible situation.  When I saw her afterwards, I would barely look at her and she knew I was angry... she cried and I felt sorry for her ... I calmed down and we were ok.  My mum then moved in with Christian and took my lil sis and bro with her.  Christian had apparently asked his current girlfriend to move out and my mum and Christian lived the blissful love they obviously had for each other.  My lil sis and bro though were less than happy and were missing their dad.  So 4 months later, my mum told Christian she was going back to my dad.  She didn't say it was for the kids sake as she knew that Christian would never have let her go.  So she told him she didn't love him anymore and that she had made a terrible mistake.   My dad took my mum back and although his jealousy never faded and the sour taste in his mouth about her betrayal was still present, they were living together happily enough.  Or so I thought!
10 years later, (3 years ago)my mum and dad relationship was going down the pan big time.  They were arguing all the time and my mum said she was leaving him again but this time she was not taking the kids (now 19 & 14 years old).  She went to live with her brother for a while and we all thought that she had decided to leave because of my dad's contant nagging at her.  He had never forgiving her for leaving him and was being pretty mean at times.  He actually pushed her away but he loved her to bits and was very upset when she left him again.  Although this time, he knew they could not have carried on like this... arguing all the time.

Then about 2 months after she left, my mother called me.  And she told me that the real reason why she left my dad was because she wanted to be with Christian again and that she had contacted him and they were going to be together.  I was gobsmacked!
I felt that once again she had big secrets and her true colour was coming out.  She had deceived the whole family again, pretending to be so unhappy with my dad when all along, she just wanted to be with Christian.  But I didn't want to get involved this time, I was looking after my two babies and I had my hands full without letting my mum upset me again.  I decided to just keep away from it.  But I had regular reports from her about her situation.

She went through hell after moving out of her brother's home.  She moved into a tiny little appartment and was all lonely and sad.  Many times she was crying on the phone and was unable to speak to me. 
I then found out that when she had left Christian 10 years earlier, he was so devastated he had a nervous breakdown.  But he apparently never stopped loving her.  However, he was back with his old girlfriend and was helping her building a house in the country side.  So he told my mother that he was not leaving his girlfriend like last time.  He wanted to make sure she would have a house first.  And he said to her that she would have to be patient and that he may take over 2 years before the house would be finished.

So my mother accepted the conditions and told him she would wait.
She was so lonely though as she was not being able to see him as much as she wanted, that she was miserable and for months she simply never wanted to go out or speak to anyone and when my big bro was inviting her around for dinner, she would turn him down.
That is when I told her that if she closed the door on everyone like, when she would want to re-open it, no one would be there waiting for her.  So she decided to start going out and show her face etc.
Her family had been dead against her leaving my dad but never said anything and just accepted her decision (although when her back was turned, they were making their feelings really clear!!)

So my mum is living in a teeny weeny place now, is working for an old blind lady who is mean to her, an is desperatly trying to see him as much as she can which is sometimes just 10 minutes in her day.

Since she's got a new computer, she has now got a hobby and has taken up PSP designing and she into communities so now she spends a long time on it and feels happier cause she ain't so lonely no more.

In the meantime..... it's now gonna be three years that she has been waiting for Christian to move his butt into gear and get a move on.  His current girlfriend knows he is having an affair but says nothing, he says to my mum that he does not speak to his girlfriend much and she doesn't either, he said he does not share the same bed anymore, but no one is there to verify that.  My mum is getting impatient and wants to move in with him (he lives just about three minutes drive from her).  And last time she made a scene with him and told him she was not happy waiting anymore, he said he was leaving her... that lasted like 48 hours then he called and said he loved her that she had to be more patient.... which pisses me off like hell cause he is just playing with words.

I feel like he is being so dishonest with her, with his girlfriend and my mum is giving all her spare time to him and always defends him despite proving to all of us that he is a rat!

I gotta stop typing cause my hand hurts now... I might talk more later!


Aug 19, 2005 at 16:32 o\clock

Shit.... bloody bloody shit!!!

by: mey2

Mood: ANNOYED actually!!!

I just got an email back from my mum and she is really mad at me.  She said she had been really hurt with what I had said to her and that she was extremely upset with what I had said about her boyfriend.
She said that I should understand that she is young enough (53) to live her new life as a woman while still be a mother.  (my mum and dad got divorced 3 years ago so it is still very fresh).
She said she had been very upset with me saying she didn't care about her children anymore and that she would give her life for us and for her grand children too.
She also said that she will never forget my words  and that I did not know her boyfriend so I shouldn't have talked about him the way I did.  She also said that she needed some time before she can talk to me again and she needed to be supported by her family not for her family to put her down.  She told me that from now on, I would never hear har cry or complain anymore.  She said "as far as you are concerned, I will be forever happy"!!!!

She asked me how I would have felt if she had said such words about my Hubby.  And to be honest... she had said a few hurtful things about my hubby in the past right at the begining of our relationship.. she must have forgotten!!

So I am shocked cause I didnt' think she would be so hard on me.  She took all what she said as an attack towards her but never thought once it was about me being worried about her and the fact that her priorities were wrong and I was asking her to leave her dumbass boyfriend for a little while so he can think of the situation and sort it out.  (I will have to tell you the whole story soon...!)

I am feeling shit though... I hate arguing and I have had a crap summer relationship-wise lately. Even though I am not sorry to see Karen out of my life, I dont want my mother to be mad at me like this...

I am gonna leave it for a few days....

Come to think of it... I am actually quite pissed off with her for being so hard on me.. I didnt' deserve this.  She has no idea how it has felt for me in the past 3 years to see/hear her cry and feel low because of that pratt of her boyfriend.

I better go and finish my laundry... That should calm me down!

Aug 19, 2005 at 10:47 o\clock

19th August

by: mey2

Mood: feeling blue!

It's absolutely pissing down with rain here today  and I must say... it's quite good cause all my flowers in my garden were gasping for some water and since we have a water shortage here and are not allowed to hose our plants, the rain is very welcome!

I have a worry today.  My mother has not replied to my email  and I know she has been online cause I saw her on MSN IM.  She must be really mad at me for writing to her the way I did.  I wasn't rude or anything... but I just said to her what I thought of her boyfriend and said that she was putting him before her children and that I would never do that to mine...
I think she may think I went too far.... either that or she is ashamed of herself and plays the ostrich game ... burry her head in the sand until the storm has passed.
I may write to her again to ask her if she is ok with me and that I am sorry I had to write all the things I wrote but that I needed to tell her... I hate being a hypocrite so smiling at her and saying I am happy for her would be so wrong for me...

And YES.. I know that when you love someone you gotta support them that but he is treating her like a door mat and I cannot just stand by and watch!
I mean.... I was reading about Shell and her brother and I feel for her.  Shell would love for her bro to live nearer to her but she supports him cause she knows he is happy despite missing him so much....
I would support my mother if I felt the guy was right for her and if she was over the moon happy.  But she ain't... and many times she is very down and cries.  SO I cannot just stand by and say nothing and sometimes truth hurts... and she had to know....

Right??!!... what do you guys think... should I have just shut up!!!

I am home all day today.  I have a mountain of laundry to do but I may well come back later and talk some more...
And I will also take the time to read some more blogs.... Some of you are so funny  it really brighten my day LOL

See ya later!

Aug 17, 2005 at 20:39 o\clock


by: mey2

Mood: Bouncing about......

Oh My God!  Oh My God!  Oh My God!  Oh My God!  Oh My God!........

I have received my tickets for the A-ha concert in December.... YEAH!!!!  I have, I have, I have,  and it's just flipping brilliant.... it's just fabulous and fantastic and I am soooooooooo excited!!!!!

Aug 17, 2005 at 11:28 o\clock

17th August

by: mey2

First of all.... I just wanted to wish Jackie to get better soon.  She is a lovely lady who has been supporting me from day 1 and I feel terrible that she is having such a crap time....

So Jackie.... I am thinking of you and hope you'll get back here soon!!

It's been so hot in here I have been really busy with the kids taking them places.  And......

You know what.... I dont feel like writing today.  I just hope Jackie will feel better soon cause I am worried about her....

Take care Jackie....


Aug 15, 2005 at 15:33 o\clock

15th August

by: mey2

Mood: Happy
Listening to: Best of A-ha!!

I could not get online this week-end!!!  What the heck was wrong ... I do not know.  But I am glad I am here today.

I am not feeling too well.  I think I might be dehydrated so I am drinking plenty of water.  You see, I went to a wedding party on Saturday and over done it lol.  Me and my friend Sam had a jolly good time  though so it was worth every single drop of wine!
Yesterday I spent the day on the sofa.... trying to focus on the Magic Roundabout DVD  we got for the kids. 
And as I said... today, I am taking it easy.

I have just written a huge email  to my mother.  I was angry with her for a few weeks and I have decided to tell her why today.  I am glad I waited to write to her cause if I had written before, I would have been too angry  and I would have written bad things I would have regretted later.
So I told her today that I was angry for the simple reason that she should not put her boyfriend before her children.  It's been going on for nearly three years  and I could not take it anymore.  So I told her that I was really upset with the way she had been treating us (her children), that I loved her very much and that I was worried that her boyfriend was not treating her the way she should be treated and that if he loved her like she says he loves her, then why doesn't he leave his other girlfriend!!! (Yeah I know... another one of those!!!)  So now I am waiting for her reply and I am worried I may have upset her too much.  But honesty is important to me and I hate being an hypocrite.  So I told her how I felt.  The ball  is in her court now... her turn!!!!

I am sooooooo excited tough .... I think a few of you may not know who I am talking about or some of you may think 'Jee... what a nerd!!' but I dont care.  I bought my tickets for the Concert  of the Year!!!! (in my opinion!!)  I am going to see my favourite band since I was 12 years old!! 
A-ha is playing in town on 10th December and I have booked three tickets (for Donna, Sarah and myself) to go and see them..... Aaaahhhhh Morten Harket (lead singer).....  So I am so excited.  Last time I saw them in concert I was 14!!!!!  I will go up and see the band and say to them:  'You can sleep with me now... it's legal....'  LOL

I have had an email  from my friend Sandy and poor thing had to wait 3 hours in a plane before taking off to Tenerife.  She hasn't seen her boyfriend yet and is eagerly waiting to talk things through with him so I keep you posted about all this.  But basically, these two love each other dearly  but they want different things in life.  She wants kids and he doesnt know yet if he ever will have any.  He is a bit messed up in his head.  It's a matter of can't live with you, can't live without you.  So a bit of a pulling hair story here ... To be continued!

OK... I better go.  My son got a new game for his Gameboy DS and he is stuck and I have to help him!!!!

Have a nice day

Aug 12, 2005 at 14:23 o\clock

12th August

by: mey2

Mood: Tired but happy

Hey Guys .... I have decided to take 10 minutes to write a little and with a bit of luck , I will be able to read your blogs too.

First of all... I am really really tired , cause last night my friend Sandy and I went to the pub for a meal and we drank a nice bottle of Australian white wine...and more!  So we were kinda tipsy when we got home  and now this morning I am feeling tired... need to sleep a little more!!

My dear friend Sandy has left this morning.  She has taken the train to Paris and then tomorrow she will be flying  to Tenerife in the Canaries Islands   .  I hope she will be ok cause her and her boyfriend of 5 years have been going through some tough time Broken Heart lately and she deserved to be so happy.  I will tell you more about her later!

... I wanted to tell you about that WOMAN!!! Karen who has been sending me texts via her mobile/cell phone.
She started on Tuesday night and ask me in a rather cold tone if I minded giving her the name of the person who was doing my hair at my hairdresser.  I thought: What the heck!!!  She writes to me like nothing happened!!!  So I ignored her.  Next evening, she sent me the same text as the night before... I thought: Cheecky Moo ... dont you get it.. I am IGNORING YOU!!!
Then yesterday she sent me a rather nasty one in the afternoon.  Here it goes: So I cant even ask you a question now!? God U really do hate me. I've read and read that email I sent u and obviously u r annoyed but if you even cared one bit u would have responded. This just makes me so sad, I should be able to tell u how I feel shouldn't I?! U have shown me now how little u think of me. Just hope its ok at school. I wont b bothering u. 
Nice isn't it!!  She has the nerve to send me this when she was the one who created this all mess all along and I was just to tired too carry on with it.  She has the nerve to reverse the situation and she is making me feel guilty about her being such a horrible person to me for weeks before hand.  She has the nerve to think it is ok to talk to me badly about my other friends, she sees nothing wrong in that.... and she has the nerves to say how little I think of her when she has treated me like a puppet for so long!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now I was really annoyed yesterday with that last text and on the advice of my friend Sandy and Sam, I ignored her again.  But I was boiling inside!!  But I sort of thought that it was at last the end of it!

But what do you know... she texted me last night again  about our Slim and Salsa class and the fact that our instructor was asking about me!!!!  She texted me that she told our instructor that she didnt know if I was coming back to the class or not.  It didn't occur to her to say that we had fallen out because she had been such a ass.  She has no clue that girl .  I feel like telling her how much she annoys me but that would be stooping as low as she is.  SO I will ignore her.... as far as I am concerned.... I do not know her anymore!

That was all I wanted to say for today!!!  Have a lovely day!

Aug 9, 2005 at 09:43 o\clock

9th August

by: mey2

Mood: HAPPY!!!!
Listening to: watching Everybody loves Raymond and laughing my head off!

Jeeee.... I have been ever so busy lately I havent' had a chance to come here and write or read  any blogs!!!!

I have a friend who has come to visit me.  She is French, speaks very well English and lives in Spain so she also speaks very well Spanish...  Lucky one!!!  Anyway, My friend Sandy is staying with me until Friday so I won't be around much but I promise by next Monday...all will be back to normal!

Have a lovely week and OH... by the way... The sun  is shining here and I have to kick myself in the butt  every minute to make sure I am not dreaming!!

See ya!!!

Aug 5, 2005 at 13:23 o\clock

5th August

by: mey2

Mood: Tired but happy

I am sooooo tired!  I have not stopped lately. Honestly, I am wondering how I am still standing!!!

Yesterday I wrote a huge post telling you all about my previous day.  But as you may know, it got deleted cause I pressed the wrong button
So I am gonna quickly tell you it now... I took the kids to the beach... That's it... There is more to it but I am so lazy today that I will leave it as that!
Yesterday, I had to take my mother and father in law to the airport cause they were off to Spain for a short holiday (they have a villa there).  Then I had to go shopping for food , then pick up my sons and their friend, go to the park so they would be really tired, got home later on at about 5pm, cooked them a nice juicy burger  and gave them chocolate doghnuts
, then bath, pyjamas and I thought... with a bit of luck they will be in bed early... WRONG!!  they went to bed at 9pm.  But at least they slept well.

Hubby was late last night cause he went Kite surfing and had to have a drink with his mate...of course!!  But I was ok about it.  I think my happy pills are doing the trick.  I feel much better about everything at the moment!  Like I dont need to frown anymore.
Like nothing matters if they dont turn up the way I planned them.  I feel that I am much more easy going that I have been in months.

I noticed that since I am not worried about Karen, a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  I saw her drive  past my house last night.  I know she was going to the Slim and Salsa class we used to go to together.  But since last week, I cancelled my membership.  I cannot spend time with the girl.  The funny thing is that she drove past my house which actually is not on the way to slim and salsa... it's like a small detour.  I am sure she was checking out whether or not my car was there.  Incidently, I saw her driving up again after the class had finished and she even slowed down to see if I was in... She is obssessed that girl   and she should really get a life!

Today I am off to a big massive play area for kids with my friend Sam and her daughter.  Another chance for Sam and I to have a chat over coffee....

And tomorrow, we are all going for a Picnic  at the Gay Pride festival down the road.  I look forward to it cause I haven't seen Sarah for a little while.  She has been working.  She will be coming tomorrow and hopefully Donna will too.  Then it'll be back to my place for some wine and a bit of a boogie dance!!
I am not sure if I will have the time to write over the week-end.  If I dont, then have a lovely week-end.  If I do...then Have a lovely week-end anyway!!
Bye for now

Aug 4, 2005 at 11:39 o\clock

4th August - 2nd entry

by: mey2

Mood: Stunned....still ANGRY

In a Past Life...
You Were: A Blind Sailor. Where You Lived: Portugal. How You Died: Hung for treason.
You Were: An Evil Cannibal.

Where You Lived: New Guinea.

How You Died: Hung for treason.

Aug 4, 2005 at 11:27 o\clock

4th August

by: mey2

Mood: SO ANGRY!!!


I cannot beleive it!!!!!!!!

I wrote a huge entry and click the wrong stupid button and it's all gone!!!!!!!!!

I am sooooooo pissed off!!!!!!!!