Paper Flowers

Wednesday 9th February 2005

Alright, I know I said that I might start to specialise my blogs soon, well not this soon. I need some time to organise all my thoughts and things, need to get notes prepared and that but look out for it. I don't know what I'll call it yet, but once I have some plans written up I'll give you the name of it so that you can watch out for it. 

Today's article is basically going to be a rant at all the annoying teachers at my school. If any of you out there attend Carshalton Highschool for Girls, then you can sit there nodding your heads and saying "Yeah, Laura, you're so right", anyone else, well, you can probably associate with most of them.

The following teacher's are extremely unfair and need to be dealt with:

• Mrs Daly - who yelled at me today because I did not have my coursework, because she wanted to mark it but it doesn't have to be in for three weeks!
• Mr Cape - who thinks he's funny and he's not, and just ends up being sarcastic and unhelpful.
• Mr Graham - (whom my mother fancies, argh!) who set us coursework and expects us to do it in five minutes!

Argh! I'm sorry this was a really uneducating article wasn't it. Oh well, it's late, I'm tired and this is the best I can come up with, especially since I'm stressing over coursework and homework.

CURSE YOU AQUASCUM! (finding nemo rules!)

Tuesday 8^th February 2005

 

At last some good news. My friend, whom I mentioned yesterday, has left hospital. She’s alright! I’m so relieved and was even sitting next to her in maths again today. To be honest I think it’s way too soon for her to be back in school, but she told us that if she stays at home she may be tempted to do it again. Now, I will not go further into her problems, as it would be unfair of me. My goal in telling you what happened to her where to try to warn those of you out there considering it, not to do it. I think I have spread this message and therefore I will not repeat myself.

            I have recently been having a few problems with downloading from the Internet and to be quite honest, I’m at a bit of a loss with which to choose. I recently went onto www.mp3downloading.com and downloaded the software needed to run their program. However, once it was downloaded and I installed it would not work. The icon appeared but when I double-clicked on it, nothing happened. If anyone knows what could be wrong please leave a comment, or perhaps make a suggestion on another website (a legal one please) that I could use. Thank you.

            I’d like to do a poll, just to get an insight into people’s minds but I’m unsure of what sort of things to do it. I’d like to know what sort of things my readers are interested in so drop me a comment and I’ll try and get a few things covered. I’m also thinking of specialising into a specific route. I’m very interested in Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. In fact, I may do a literature blog, which would particularly interest me as a writer, but hopefully some of you as readers.

            I’d like to recommend a few films which I have seen recently, that I think are worthe seeing, and also quash a few rumours about a few other movies out at the moment.

            Let me start with White Noise. Let me firstly say, that I watched this film with my good friend Bex who is terrfied of pretty much everything and jumps at the slightest sound in most films. This is film is quite jumpy, with a few spine-chilling moments and suspense filled scenes. However, these are few and far between. The biggest jump that I received was when a woman pictured in the static of the television jumped out towards the screen. I read on the Internet that White Noise is supposed to be “the most disturbing film of the year’. I have two things to say on that statement. Firstly, how can it be the most disturbing film of the year, when it’s only February (January when the film came out) and secondly, it is nowhere near as scary as some horror films, such as The Ring and Session 9.

            It’s alright for a girly sleepover on Halloween, but it’s really not worth the money you pay for an entry fee into the cinema. The film is on one level throughout it’s entirety. If it’s not static on a television screen, it’s static on a radio. I felt that it was a decent enough plot, but that it was done poorly, and dragged out for too long. 5/10.

 

            The second film that I’ve seen quite recently was Without A Paddle. I loved this film, mainly because I love Seth Green (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Rat Race) and Matthew Lilliard (Scooby Doo, Scream), two of the main characters. They are hilariously funny in this film and I loved it’s slapstick comedy and one-liners. The characters were believable and loveable and the bad guys were typical slack-jawed idiots living out in the middle of nowhere growing crops of marijuana. What else can you ask for? 10/10

 

            Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, was my most eagerly anticipated film of last year, and I finally got it on DVD a few weeks ago. It is my favourite book of the series so far, my favourite character being the wonderful Remus Lupin, but I must admit I was sorely disappointed with the film. In many way it was a lot better than the previous two Harry Potter movies; the special effects on Buckbeak and Sirius Black in dog form were wonderful, the younger actors were growing up and their acting was much more believable this time around and I love David Thewlis, the actor who portrays Remus Lupin. However, I found the movie very unorganised and it must have been very confusing to those people who had not read the book. Very little was explained fully, even though there would have been time to do so. The fact that the Marauders were Lupin, Sirius, Pettigrew and Harry’s Dad were not even mentioned, neither was the reason of why Snape hated them all so much.

            Another things that really annoyed me about the film is that little shrunken head on the Knight Bus and in the Three Broomsticks pub. How annoying are those little things! I can understand why they were put there; to relieve the tension and to add comedy into the film, but it shouldn’t have been done with these little heads that aren’t in the book. There are plenty of comedic moments in the book between Stan and Ernie, and this would have been a great time to develop Sirius Black’s background.

            I found that on www.mugglenet.com there are over three hundred mistakes in the movie, which is frankly unacceptable. Of course, no movie is perfect, but to have that many is just pure laziness on the editor’s side. More time should have been spent on making the film as correct as possible.

            On the other hand, it was a great and movie, and I think a lot of people enjoyed it. It was certainly my favourite film so far, (but I may change my mind after the forth) and it certainly was a wonderful 136 minutes in the cinema. All the characters were wonderful, (David Thewlis and the very talented Gary Oldman rock!) the comedy was very funny (“Spiders! They want me to tap dance! I don’t wanna tap dance!” “You tell those spiders, Ron!)

             All in all it was a good film and it gets a spectacular 10/10.

Monday 7^th February 2005

 

This is my first ever entry and unfortunately it’s rather a depressing one. It’s a Monday and over the weekend something really dreadful happened, but before I write about that let me just tell you who I am.

            My name is Laura Ashdown and I’m a fifteen year old High school student, currently living in Carshalton, England. I’m an enthusiastic writer, a fan of many kinds of literature and enjoy writing my own poetry and stories. Hopefully I’ll be putting out a few of my poems on here and it would be wonderful if you could review them, or perhaps send me an e-mail on what you think. If poetry is not really your thing, then don’t worry, I won’t be writing all my entries in rhyme, so just enjoy it as an insight to a young girl’s mind.

            Now, to the matter which has upset me quite deeply, probably not to the full extent yet. I’m still trying to get to terms with it, as are many of my friends, and I hope that if any of them are reading this, they will find comfort in my words and will understand that I am writing this, not to spread gossip and rumours, but to inform people of the terrible effects and consequences of what my friend did over the weekend.

            First, my condolences and sympathy go out to Emma Smith’s family and all of her friends, both the ones I know and the ones I don’t. I understand that it is a very hard time for all of you and I want you to know that you have my deepest respect and love for you all.

            Over the weekend, Emma attempted, and I say this without implying that she didn’t want to commit, to end her life. She overdosed on twenty neurofen tablets and a few other pills that she had. Currently she is in intensive care, in a coma. Today a friend of mine named Andrea Gilfoyle showed me a transcript of the suicide letter she had written on her website. I must admit that is probably the saddest, most deeply moving thing I’d ever read.

            It was written in slang, poorly punctuated and worded and all in one long paragraph, but somehow that seemed to fit. Since when is suicide ordered and neat? When is it perfectly planned with everything in the right place? As I read it, I could feel all the hurt and the emotion that went into and felt tears in my eyes as she wrote small messages to each of her friends. Some of the messages I couldn’t understand fully, they were simple, personal messages that would make complete sense to the person it was aimed for.

            It would be wrong of me to describe everything she said in her letter but one thing particularly stood out she said “I’d rather go out in a blaze, than slowly fade away.” This sums Emma up completely; always lively, understanding, expressive. A person who wants to make a mark in the world, to put herself out there. She said that one person alone couldn’t make a difference, you can only influence the people around you. That’s the mark she left upon me. I didn’t know her for that long and not even that well. She didn’t leave me a personal message in her letter, not to my surprise, but I feel that she left a mark on me in another way. She’s given me a new respect for life she’s made me realise that everyone has a destiny. A destiny that will always come about, the only true certainty in life: we are all going to die.

            I want to stress that Emma, as critically ill as she may be at the moment: has not passed away. Whether or not she will get better is unclear, and many people are too disturbed or upset to go and visit her. It’s hard to think of her lying in some hospital bed, with those wires and tubes and her eyelids closed, shutting out the world as effectively as death would. Even now, I can picture the scene in my head, and I wish I could reach out to her spirit and shake her awake.

            I want to sit next to her in maths again, so I can complain with her on the purpose of algebra and the usefulness of Pythagoras’s theorem. So we can silently whisper under our breaths about how our teacher constantly makes bad jokes, and how much we can’t wait to leave maths when we go to sixth form.

            She had so much to give to the world, even though she felt that one person alone can make no difference. You’re wrong Emma. There’s so many things that  one person can do. Look at Martin Luther King Jr. An inspiration of a man, with a heart of gold and the belief that all men were created equal. Carol Ann Duffy, a sensational poet who inspired me and many class mates into the wonders and depths of poems. Mother Teresa, a wonderful woman, who despite the danger of disease, helped the poorest people out of poverty. Even down to people like JRR Tolkein, an amazing man, an incredible author with a wonderful imagination, who had given me the pleasure of his books, and later on, the adapted  versions on the big screen. Emma, one person can change the lives of so many people. You had so much potential.

            I understand that this I something like your third attempt at taking your own life, and I apologise for all the euphemisms but I hate to admit the truth, so I know you’re a fighter. I know you can pull yourself out of this one. I know you can Emma, and all your friends know it.

            I know that she has refused any kind of psychiatric help or counselling in the past, but I’m begging any of you out there, with suicidal thoughts or tendencies, please, please, please get some help. I say this to be kind, not to patronize. By God above, by Allah, by which ever God or spirits you believe in, don’t suffer alone. You can do so much for the world and always know that there is so many people out there who love you. If Emma had one downfall, it was her refusal to accept help. Please do not refuse help if you are offered it. Seek out if needs be. No one will judge you, or blame you. They would only want to help.

            If one thing could come out of Emma’s attempted suicide, it’s the fact that it’s given me respect for life. I hope I can pass on that respect to whoever is reading. I hope I have left a mark on you as she has on me. Please, as I said before, get help if you need it. I think a lot of people do not understand that suicide is a nasty, nasty business. Not just for the person committing it, but for the people around you. Imagine how your family would cope with the knowledge that you had killed yourself? They would blame themselves wouldn’t they. Mine would. The same for your friends.

            Also, taking an overdose is on of the least pleasant ways of committing suicide. I’m not saying that other ways are more pleasant, but overdosing on pills is particularly horrific. I shudder to think of the pain that she went through before she blacked out, the thoughts that must have been running through her head. God it makes even me feel guilty, for not noticing something sooner.

            I pray for Emma to wake up soon, and will keep you updated on her condition. We are all very hopeful and can’t wait to see her again. Please, whenever you have the time, give a silent prayer or a thought to Emma Smith, the girl who’d rather go out in a blaze, than slowly fade away.