Weblog of Lois and Dougie - the daily musings of a lady and her cat

I suppose one of the great things fantasy is that the less you know someone, the more you can theorise about them, endowing them with wonderful qualities.  I have had a couple of chances to spend some time with my 'angel' and what a spooky character he is.  A friend of ours took a photo of me, my angel, and a special friend - I am looking at my friend, she is looking at the camera, and the angel is looking... off somewhere into the distance.  I am convinced it is because he is Pisces.

I had a Pisces boyfriend in the UK and there were certainly times where I'd be talking to him and he seem to be in a dream world of his own, which I found very frustrating.  On Yahoo's astrology site the compatibility of Aries and Pisces is noted as "You are Yang and the Pisces is Yin. It's the ultimate meeting of the polar opposites of the cosmos! You're brash and sometimes full of yourself; the Piscean is wise and all-knowing, with nothing to prove. You complement each other perfectly: you go out on your missions and when you get hurt, the Pisces catches you; Piscean fears are salved with blasts of your optimism and bravado. This relationship is sealed where it counts: in the bedroom."  Now I think about it the bedroom side of tings kept us together as much as anything else!

Unfortunately my angel is taken, so he will live only in the bedroom in my mind.  Never mind.  My new friends wants a boyfriend too so I think it is time to go hunting!  Watch this space for the lastest in our search.

Lois

 

Well blow me down, let's tack a sail onto this onto this one and see if it floats...

An appliance retailer in the UK is hoping to market irons to men.  Though studies (apparently) show that only 17% of the nations ironing is done by men in Britain, the retailer believes it is worth aiming toward "the high end of the market".  Research also revealed that male iron-purchasers were concentrated in Leeds, Newcastle, Edinburgh, Manchester (A trend led by David Beckham?) and Walthamstow, a place in East London.  One can only ponder the size of the research sample if the London suburb of Walthamstow is significant - I've been there and it is no bigger than Brooklyn.  One could also ponder whether men in Southampton and Birmingham have partners who iron, just like creased clothes, or take their shirts back to Mum (that's what I'd bet).

 

Many people my age may have grown up with mothers struggling to get us to eat vegetables, and quite a few of us may have been encouraged with the line, "Think of the starving millions in Africa".  That was around 30-odd years ago, and sadly, it could be put to similar use on the child/vege-eating battlefront today.  I also remember doing the '40-hour famine' to raise money for Africa, and that too, continues. 

Bob Geldof and Bono will be pleased that after many years of campaigning the G8 (an alliance of the most wealthy nations) is going to collectively wipe the debts owed to them by a number of African nations.  It is thought that this will contribute greatly to relieving poverty.  I do hope that is true, but I can't help thinking that civil war, racial tension, and poor governance have alot to do with  poverty, possibly a more cause - effect relationship than the reverse (e.g. poverty causes war).  I find that with myself, there have been times when I have earned a reasonable amount of money, but I have always spent enough to struggle with the bills, whatever my income.  This is because the problem is in my attitudes and behaviour, not in money itself.

The West has stumbled before in trying to help the African nations - fighting the rising rate of HIV and AIDS involved promoting abstenance and use of condoms - not always something disempowered women and girls are able to insist on.  The one good thing about this debt write-off is at least I don't feel like it is my government choosing this on my behalf, without consulting me.  I want the best for all people all over the world, but the saysing 'to throw good money after bad lurks at the back of my mind right now.

Was very plesed to receive a comment the piece about flirting - thankyou 'Kelly'.  A very good question was put - how do you define flirting?  I have spent a little time today online to get, as a starting point, a dictionary definition. 

I began with the verb 'to flirt':  Behave in a playful and alluring way     ... OK, I get that.  Next up was flirtatious:  indicating sexual liking for somebody playfully - behaving playfully and in a way that gives an impression of sexual interest.  I think that is probably what I feel flirting is, and why I feel a little aggrieved if it can't go further - for me a sexual relationship must be part of a passionate Luurrve relationship!

Then I tried 'flirt with':  to consider an idea without doing anything serious about it or letting it have an effect.  Aha!  now this is possibly what is going on when some is flirting with me.  Perhaps there is more enlightenment in the word 'flirtation':  1.  playful romantic involvement: a short playful interaction based on lighthearted feeling or behaviour.  How I wish I could be light-hearted about romance - a desire it too much!  The other definition was 2. period of casual interest in something:  a period of considering or participating in something in a superficial way.  We're back to superficiality now.

Now let's try something else with these definitions:

'to flirt':  Behave in a playful and alluring way (my interpretation: so the object of your affections develops interest in you)

 flirtatious:  indicating sexual liking for somebody playfully - behaving playfully and in a way that gives an impression of sexual interest.  There may be no intention of giving anything more than an impression, but I get hooked up on the first part of this sentence!

'flirtation':  1.  playful romantic involvement: a short playful interaction based on lighthearted feeling or behaviour.  The romantic involvement sends my heart skyrocketing towards the stars and my imagination goes into overdrive, whilst the key word for the other person is 'lighthearted'.

2. period of casual interest in something:  a period of considering or participating in something in a superficial way.  We're back to superficiality now.

Perhaps what was really going on with my 'angel' was picked up correctly by 'Kelly', who suggests that people in relationships like to check they are can still attract, so flirt and check the reaction.  I look forward to needing to do this Hahaha...

Mood: Weary
Listening to: my colleague's fingers on the keyboard

What is the function of flirting?  Is it just a way of smoothing over the rough corners of our daily interactions when dealing with the opposite sex, or is it a way to signal interest insomeon?  I had reason to ponder this lately.

I have noticed that I am very flirtatious with customers on the phone, but see this as harmless, and ceretainly not a signal of interst in the other person.  This is taken as read by my (willing, I assure you) customers - we wil never see each other, and anyway, it is a professional relationship.  What interests me more, is why flirting has a different significance when there's someone I am interested in.  How much harder it is to see flirting as just that harmless fun, witty jousting of the sexes when you badly want your flirting partner to be as excited at the attention as you are.

Luckily I have become better at avoiding getting too hung up on those I worship from afar, before the truth comes out.  What I can't understand though, is why it is OK for a guy to flirt with a woman when he is in a relationship.  I would have expected the guy to tone the chat down, not rachet it up with both verbal and body language (the sparkling, attentive eyes, hips turned toward you, the hair-touching)...!  Am I alone in thinking that women are more inclined to think flirting is inappropriate if you are 'spoken for'? 

Time for a poll, I think...

 

 

..what more needs to be said?  :-(

It can be lovely to know a secret.  It can be lovely to have secrets, to feel that not all of yourself is on display to all people.  Offices are notorious for gossip.  I thought I had been very careful about sharing my thoughts.

But someone spilt the beans, and I fear my interest in someone lovely could be the source of derisory gossip.  I don''t know it to be true, but I feel it.  The thing is, sharing information is a bit like lending and borrowing.  If I borrow a book from a friend I don't believe I have the right to lend it to another freind.  I had a boyfriend once, who lent a book of mine to his ex-wife.  I didn't get it back because it got damaged, and my boyfriend didn't replace it.  I'd already read the book, but felt unhappy it was lent without my permission.

If someone tells me something private, it is not for me to feel free to pass that on to another.  I got a bit of a shock when a colleague said to me, "I know your secret".  While the reason the secret got to her was because her partner is doing a bit of fact-finding about the object of my affections, I would not have shared this with these people myself.

Though I am sad to see the person shared this information go away because we've enjoyed each other's company, I think I'll feel more secure in the office is at least one known gossip is out of the way!