Weblog of LittleBeetle_82

Mood: Sad but thoughtful

Have you ever had someone pay you a compliment so nice that it stays in your mind?

 

About 3 years ago, I went to the Day Surgery for a minor operation.  Afterwards I was feeling really off colour and had to sit in a lounge chair for a little while.  Mum pointed out a nurse to me and said “Remember her, I have to tell you something about her”.  After a while of sitting, the nurse approached me and said “I’m sorry, I just had to come up and tell you I think you’re beautiful, a real natural beauty.  I normally hate girls like you but I just had to come and tell you how beautiful you are”, tears welled up in my eyes, and I looked over at Mum who was in tears too.  I couldn’t believe it!  Someone I had never even met before who paid me such a nice compliment, when I was feeling and looking my worst.  Mum told me later that the nurse had approached her & told her she thought I was beautiful!  I’ve never forgotten her.

 

My workmates (from the job I just finished up on Friday) all tell me that the place won’t be the same without me, and the guy I was employed by told me that no one they get in will ever be as good as me.  It was sadder leaving there than it was for me to leave my last job of 4 years.  I feel so much closer to the people I work with this time around, and not being around them is such a huge loss to me.  I didn’t ever think you could feel that way about people you work with.

 

One of them told me to keep being me, that I was a wonderful person and she was so glad the universe bought me into her life!  I know I will still see/catch up with most of them, but knowing tomorrow I don’t have a job to go to, it really breaks my heart.

 

These people have completely changed my way of thinking, about how a job should be.  I will never go back to a place I was before this last job.  I didn’t think it was possible to be happy in a job, I thought it was just something to pay the bills.  Now I know better.

 

Never underestimate how much of an impact you can make on someone else’s life. 

 

I'm in 2 minds about everything.  One minute it's "How exciting, I wonder what job I'll end up in next" and the next it's "But I don't want to work anywhere else".  I'm sick of feeling so up and down about it.  The fact of the matter is that next week I'll be out of a job.

I went for a job interview the other day which I know I won't get.  They were interviewing 11 other people for it.  But I did well, considering how many applications they got, to even get an interview in the first place.

The building owner has mentioned to me that he'd love to keep me on here, but they just can't afford to, hence paying some poor trainee $300 a week...gosh those trainee wages suck!

I'm terrified of change.  I left my last job after 4 long years because the place was really getting me down.  On my first day here I cried in my lunch break.  Sounds crazy, but to be somewhere totally different where you don't know anyone and you're completely vulnerable, it's a scary thing.

Ahhh, I don't know...I just feel really lost at the moment.

 

Mood: Pretty sad

Talk about kicking me when I'm down...instead of 8 weeks notice, it's now only 3.  My boss was talking to his book keeper who pointed out to him that he would only be able to afford to pay me for another 3 weeks, plus my 3 weeks annual leave.  I finish up on 28th October.  Great...

You know what makes me feel even better?  The owner of the building has decided after I leave to put a receptionist on.  Huh?  What the hell am I?  But then it might be a trainee, I don't know, I'm just really mad about it.  My boss said to me that he doesn't think anyone they put on will be as good as me.  He's leaving the clinic himself.

This really sucks.  But I guess it's not the worst thing that could happen.  I have my health, I have my family, I have my boyfriend (who tonight gave me fifty bucks "just in case" I needed to use it!!  Sweet!) so things aren't as bad as they could be.

Please, no more bad news, I really don't think I could handle it.

I didn't cry when I found out the latest news today.  I think I had it coming.  I guess it's proof that anything that sounds too good to be true, usually is.

And that old wive's tale of not starting a job on a Friday is true. 

Went out for tea tonight with my boyfriend and his workmate, and his girlfriend who reads palms.  She read mine, she told me I'm a good saver, I'm a strong person ("the boss"!!), I'm quiet and warm and very smart, and that I have a long healthy life ahead of me with 1 strong marriage and 2 children!!  Who knows if it's all true, she was a nice lady though!  It was a really enjoyable night!  That lifted my spirits a bit.

But now I'm back to feeling cynical, depressed and pessimistic.

When you've hit rock bottom, the only place to go is up, right?

Mood: Very sad

Isn't it amazing how just one day can change everything?

Firstly, my car went in for its end of warranty service, that wasn't too bad and cost $240, BUT it needs new tyres right away (I didn't think they were that bad but apparently they are badly scrubbed on the inside) so I'm looking at at least $448 (including a wheel alignment and nitrogen) to put new tyres on it.  That was money I hadn't planned on spending on it, I thought (hoped!!!) I wouldn't need to replace them before 8 months!!!!  Then next week the rego and insurance are due - all up over $1000 there.  Of course I knew it was coming and have plenty in savings for it all but it still sucks!  I was rather unhappy about that, then...

I lost my job today.  Not through anything I did, it's because my boss isn't making enough money to support himself and pay me.  He's a great person to work for and I know he feels terrible about it.  I'm pretty devastated - I love my job and most of the people I work with (I found out this morning that Betty is actually leaving and I was elated, thinking that things there would be great with her gone).  Now I have to start all over again.  At least my boss has said he will keep me on and pay me for another 8 weeks (despite the contract I signed saying he only needs to give me one week's notice) until I find another job which is great, and he said he will do anything he can to help me get a new job - he doesn't think I'll have any problems finding something else.  I sure hope not.  I keep feeling like this is a nightmare that I will wake up from soon.  It's strange that just last week, I was blissfully happy with not a care in the world.  But it could be worse.  Luckily for me I still live at home, I own my car and don't owe any money anywhere, but it was a huge shock to the system to hear this news.  Even still, I'm glad for the time I've been in this job (nealry 8 months), and the people I've met, I'm glad I got out of my last job when I did, even though this job didn't work out for me.  I don't regret any of it.  I came home from work early because my boss said I could if I didn't feel up to staying for the last 45mins.  Of course I didn't feel up to it, I was bawling and panicking!!  And in no shape to deal with any customers, answer the phone or confirm any appointments!  So I came home and cried!!!  It didn't make things better, but it needed to happen.  I haven't had a good cry for a long time, especially not for something this big!!  Well, I've never lost a job before, so it was a new thing for me!

Then I find out a bomb type device was found in the basement of my sister's work building, how scary!!!!  I'm frightened for her, what is the world coming to?  Whether the bomb was a fake (they aren't sure) is irrelevant, it's a threat nonetheless.  I pray every night for my family and those I care about, asking God to keep them safe.  I hope He's listening.  I'm not even a religious person, but I like to believe there's someone up there watching over everyone.  Sometimes it certainly doesn't feel like it, especially with all the really terrible stuff happening in the world at the moment.

I went to the florist tonight to organise for some flowers to be sent to Mum tomorrow, I hope they're nice!  I asked for lots of yellow because that's her favourite colour.  It's to thank her for running my car over to get serviced, then wasting half her day waiting for it to be finished, then bringing it back to me.  She is a true gem, I really have an amazing family.

Anyway, I think it's time for me to head off and try to get some sleep.  It will be a hard day for me tomorrow.

Take care all.

Mood: Happy as a lark

It's Sunday night and I'm in an unbelievably good mood.  Maybe that's due to the fact I don't have to go to work tomorrow!?

It's been a great weekend, went to a 50th on Friday night for a little bit, it was pretty good.  Then we went to the movies and saw "Deuce Biglaow", it wasn't too bad although some parts were pretty off!!  Most of yesterday was spent shopping!  I'm looking for "The Perfect Handbag", one shaped a bit like a kidney!!  Found a really nice Oroton handbag a few months back, but with the price tag of $400 it was slightly out of my budget!!!!  Last night I went around to my boyfriend's house & we got fish & chips for tea, it was the BEST!!  The grilled fish has a schnitzel type batter on it, it's divine!!!  I left his house pretty late & when I got home, Temptation Island was on, then Cheaters!!!  YAY!!!  I can't believe anyone would actually agree to go on a show like Temptation Island.  For a start, it's not real life - yourself and your partner aren't going to constantly be surrounded by adorable people trying to get into your pants!!!  One guy cheated on his fiancee just 4 hours after the couples were separated.  4 hours!!!!!  What a creep.  Anyway, it's now Day 12 and this same guy has developed "feelings" for one of the other girls and wants to "see how it goes".  You have to be kidding me!!!!! 

Today I had a glorious sleep in, went to the shops again, then saw a movie with a friend this afternoon. 

A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling really flat.  I had no idea why as nothing had happened to make me feel so low.  Anyway, this friend dropped into my work with a bunch of flowers and some chocolates to cheer me up!  It was so nice of her and such a surprise, it truly made my day! 

What else has been happening......oh, I think Betty might be leaving.  She called the building owner ON A WEEKEND and abusing him and going off about someone leaving the air conditioner on ALL weekend!!!  As you can probably understand, he was more than a little p'd off that Betty thought she had the right to call him and abuse him for something that wasn't his fault, when all she had to do was switch the damn thing off and discuss it with the appropriate people (as an adult would) during the working week.  Anyway, the owner called the real estate and asked them to put up her rent in the hopes she will leave!!!!!  Now she's acting all secretive and won't tell anyone what's going on.  I can only assume she's moving out!  It's not that I don't like her, I just think she's difficult and always wants things her way.  If she doesn't get her way, look out!  Everyone else at work is easy to get along with, it's just her who seems to boss everyone around, especially me!!!!

I've decided I will update my car in approximately 8 months.  By then I will have about $10,000, then I can sell my car and get a loan for about $10,000 and get a new VW Golf.  I love them!  They're so roomy and comfortable and VW's seem to hold their value pretty well!

I feel really happy, you know how sometimes things are going right and you have no worries in the world, I feel that way tonight!  It's a fantastic feeling!

I am going to the hairdresser next weekend, I can't wait!!!  Even though I will be hours in the salon, but I have a great hairdresser who chats non-stop!!  I'm a pretty shy person, so to finally find a hairdresser who is so bubbly and talkative and treats you like an old friend she's known for years, it's just great!!!!

Anyway, I think that's about all my news for now!!

Until next time,