.........if I only had a brain......that would be nice....
Mood: a bit confused.....
Listening to: Pearl Jam- Glorified......something (I think that's what it is)
I've run out of things to say....both here and in the "real world"....I have absolutely nothing to say to anyone....its not even like I'm my usual anti-social self.....I just don't want to speak....right now I'm starting to sound like an idiot....
.........................
d.r.a.w.i.n.g.a.b.l.a.n.k.............
I've always had trouble being able to go up to a person and starting up a conversation......but, I would usually grab onto some courage and do it.....but I can't seem to do even that.....I feel like I'm hiding in the shadows and then running past them as quickly as possible so there would be no eye contact involved.....
Being social is not something that I look foward to....I don't have some dark outlook on life.....I don't contemplate suicide or anything like that....I like to think that I'm down-to-earth and generally a happy person...... I don't make trouble and I don't go looking for it......I just sit back and do nothing.....maybe that's my problem.....I don't know.....but, I feel like I'm missing life.....
I haven't really experienced many of the normal "teenage things" that people are supposed to go through....but I don't think that going out, hanging out at the mall, or going to parties and getting "wasted" are really going to accomplish much.....yet, because I don't do these things I feel like such an outsider......but, the thing is, I LIKE being an outsider.....I think that I'm above everyone....better than them because I have the will-power to do it....you know? it's the stupidest thing to think, but that's what I believe.....
I'm getting even more jumbled up now........I'm done thinking about it........
