cold....
Mood: cold
Listening to: Alkaline Trio
Why was i so happy last post? Maybe it was becasue the weather was nice....maybe because I had just gone through the most exercise I've had in the past 4 months?...who knows....but now its blah time once again...
Its freakin' freezing outside..snowing off and on...where the hell did our warm weather go?? I am so goddamn tired of putting on so many layers just to walk outside...I want it to be SPRING!!! I want the sun and the warmth..and i want it now!!!!!
Its April....no more snow, no more cloudy-ass days!! I am pissed, this fucking weather sucks!!
My mood is the same color as the sky...grey.....it doesn't even feel ike Easter is in two days!! NOT AT ALL!!
I'm glad that I do have Sunday off....but my paychecks have been dwindling down in amount for the past couple of weeks....i need to keep putting enough away to help with our vacation in July...which, by the way is still going no where...since no one seems to want to help me plan it...I can only do so much, since i'm not really paying for most of it...:P
Anyway, the rising gas prices have been killing me, plus i had to get an oil change for my car....i don't know how much more I'll be able to afford...thank goodness that there's only 1 month of school left....
I can't believe how fast this year went by...I'm already starting to figure out my classes for next fall...I'm going to be a college sophmore...i probably just spelled that wrong....but I can't believe it...!!! me...in college...finishing up my first year....
i keep thinking that this whole thing is an illusion...that I'll wake up the next day and will be 5 years younger....still having to go through high school and deal will all that shit again....time just goes by so goddamn fast and I feel like I've already missed out on so much....some of my friends are turning 20 soon, and we jokingly said that we're halfway to 40 now....I laughed at that, but that fact keeps eating at me...I keep thinking that I've wasted the last 19 years, what have I accomplished? and what the hell am I going to do in the next 20 years?
Now that I am almost a sophomore, I keep wondering what I'm going to do after I graduate? what will my career be? It seems that they keep touting this whole idea that you have to know exactly what you want to do even before you leave high school....but I've always kept my options open, but now I'm wondering if that was the best idea...maybe I should have decided already...i don't know...
The black abyss is enveloping me.....I'm disappearing into the real world, and I don't want it...
