...And The Conversation Dies...
Listening to: Bayside
I think I've just about purged myself...just one more ought to do it...
To Whom It May Concern,
Congratulations. We have made it. All these past years of endless classes, tests, presentations, club meetings, track meets, and pep rallies have brought us here...to this one place in time. It seems like it wasn't that long ago when we all started out on this journey, and now we have finally completed the first leg of this race through time. We had some good times...remember M's great party and how his parents came home early to such a mess? Or driving all the way to Jersey just to find a roadside diner and grab a milkshake? Or perhaps those endless nights we spent talking? You do? Well, I don't...I'm just relaying what I heard in the hallways on Monday mornings. Do you even remember me? I don't expect you to, I didn't exactly participate in any social outings. But, we did have gym together...remember how you once picked me to be on your team, and then proceeded to completely ignore me when I tried to make conversation. Or how about you, you laughed hysterically when I dropped my books after you and your friends sprayed me with water. Ha Ha, good one guys...wait? You don't remember? I spent the rest of the day with a damp shirt and pants, so I certainly do. Remember I was in the same lunch period as you? We used to be friends, but you wouldn't let me sit at your table. You said that you saving the seat for someone, but they never seemed to show up. How about you, the football guys, who took my backpack and book off of the seat while I was buying my lunch. You thought it was pretty funny as I was desperately trying to find my stuff. Kicking it under some other people's table...what a great idea. What did I ever do to you? I don't understand...was I that much of an easy target? You ignored me, made fun of me, laughed at me...everything but try and talk to me. Six years of loneliness...you try dealing with that. Now, I'm not writing this for sympathy...or even to make you feel guilty. I am writing this for myself. I have found my voice and I am no longer afraid to use it. You put me down in order to make yourself look....what? Cooler? Badder? Better? Yeah, I'm sure it did the trick. You left me with no confidence in myself...and I couldn't trust people for a long time. I haven't forgotten you, either...remember we hung out all the time between classes? Remember how you offered me a ride home? Remember how you left me standing outside of the school for an hour? I had to call my parents and make up some lame excuse for them to come and get me. They didn't believe me, I could tell. Do you have any idea how that feels? To have your parents see how much of a loser you really are? I had to withstand the peptalks from them...telling me next year will be better...no, next year will be better. Well, I quickly ran out of "next years." It certainly was not for my lack of trying, but there are only so many times you can go up to people and try to talk and be met with nothing but blank stares. So, to whom it may concern...you know who you are. You made me not want to get out of bed in the morning. You made me question everything that makes me...well, me. Was I not good enough? Was I not smart enough? I've stopped caring, and you all can go to hell for all I care. I'm sure there is a special section for those who get off on other people's pain. Well, Class of 2006, it was nice knowing thee. And now we have a bright future ahead, and mine is perhaps the brightest. High School was only for a few short years and there is so much more in store. So...Fuck Off and have a nice life.
~K
P.S. Can't wait for the reunion...
