Just Lil' Ole Boring Me

Listening to: Mercy Me- Alkaline Trio

As I sit here typing..its about 95 degrees outside....I'm suffocating!!

Oh course I had to choose a day like this to sit in my room all day and watch my assigned movies!! Of course...

I have no AC....and, for some reason,  my fan is working.....AHH!!!

I'm really looking foward to tomorrow...me and some friends  are going to the drive-ins!!! whoo hoo! Its gonna be great..hopefully...and the weather better cooperate!!!

Well..i better get on watching...i still have two more to go...Edward Scissorhands and Gladitator....at least this movies are pretty interesting....but this class is really getting expensive...

First of all...it cost $1800....i couldn't take a class at the community college because none of the credits that i needed would transfer!!! so i took this class at my school, and this is how much it costs when you don't have financial aid..i hadn't applied for aid for the summer semesters because I wasn't sure if i was going to take a class or not...so thats the big expense...plus, i have to go and rent all of the movies that I don't have....craziness....

Oh well...i also glanced at my schedule for next week...and it seems that all of the kids who went off to school are now coming back...so my hours were cut way down...i went from working about 20+ hours a week to just 9!! I won't even be getting a paycheck because they only give them out when you've earned $60 or more...so I'll have to wait until the next one to get my money....i can't go a week without pay....i don't know what I'll do....at least I don't need as much gas as i used to when i drove to school everyday...but still....i need to save for vacation and my school expenses!!!

I don't understand why they get to come back.. i mean, we have plenty of people and they will only be working for about 2 months....its not right that I'm losing hours to people who haven't been here all year....i wonder that if I had gone away to school would i have been allowed to come back...because there is a least one person who I used to work with who asked to come back and was told that there wasn't room for them....there definitely is a bias going on here.... 

Hopefully I'll get a least another day...two days a week isn't enough!!

Mood: tired
Listening to: Tie Her Down-Senses Fail

Ah....comments...how I love them!!  :)

Well, its been a pretty uneventful weekend....we had a mini BBQ on Sun, but didn't do anything yesterday for the Memorial Day holiday...at least I got off from work....

I am now so sick of watching movies!! This class sounded so easy, but its starting to get on my nerves....3-5 movies a week didn't sound too bad, but now its getting tiresome, 3 more weeks to go....so far I've watched all the classics from the 70s and 80s....got some E.T, Star Wars, Jaws, and Witness....at least these movies are tolerable to watch....

What else happened...hmmm....oh!

There was a new foal born at my riding stables! Thats pretty exciting! We haven't had a new baby in about 4 years..i think...i was going to go down there over the weekend, but.....movies...grr.....hopefully i'll have lessons on Fri...I can't wait to see her!!

Our vacations plans are finally moving again...i finally got my parents to narrow down a few hotels to stay at....and we sat down with my cousin and her parents to figure out whats going on there....we didn't get very far, but I guess communication is good...i hope she has fun on this trip with us...

Sometimes I just don't get her (my cousin)...shes a year younger than me, but she acts so immature sometimes (a lot of the time)... but she's experienced a lot more (if you get my drift..and I mean all of those new "experiences")...she's gotten herself into some trouble over the past couple of years...but when we hang out (which isn't too often) she can be pretty fun...We are polar opposites, I'm very laid-back, reserved, shy, and pretty cautious about whats going on around me....she's...well...she can get pretty crazy (and I've heard about some stuff thats she's done that is so,so,so very stupid....)she has to be the center of attention all of the time...and I would probably throw myself off a cliff to avoid any public attention! (which would result in post-mortem attention....how gruesome!!)

I suggested that she come with us on vacay so that she could get away from all of those distractions that seem to draw her into problems....and so that I would someone my own age to hang out with....so far it seems like everythings going to go pretty well...i just hope things don't change when we're on the actual trip....who knows???

Oh well...i'm pretty tired from work...had to do inventory the whole time....stuck in the dusty back room....ugh...

I'm hoping that this week is a good one....

Mood: tired
Listening to: Alkaline Trio

Whew....well, I made it through 6 days straight of work....i've never had to work that many days in  a row! Damn prom....that was the reason for me having to work so much, most of the girls are still in high school and they all took the weekend off....so tired...

Anyway....I've started my assignments for my Music in Movies class....so far I've gotten through Jaws and today I have to watch E.T. at some point...I have to go to the video store to rent the other two movies that are in this weeks assignment because I don't have them...Star Wars and Witness, hopefully they have them in stock....

Basically, I have to watch the movie and then answer questions about the scoring of it...plus I need to give it my own analysis and discuss how I felt the music contributed to the movie...etc....Its not that hard, but I don't feel like being inside watching all of these goddamn movies!! Its so nice outside...this is why I wish I had one of those portable DVD players....oh well...

Well, I don;t know how many people have seen this...but I just saw Marilyn Manson's new music video for Heart Shaped Glasses....and I was sickened....I would hate to ruin it  but the first five minutes or so of it consists of him and his "girlfriend" Evan Rachel Wood (whom  was one of the few Hollywood actresses that I actually respected and thought had a good future ahead of her...) having sex, and painful-looking at that!!  Now, there has been speculation that it wasn't fake at all and that it was real....and I have to agree, it looked pretty darn real!! Its not the sex part that I am really concerned about, its the fact that he is about 40 and she is not even 20...i just think there's something wrong with that....plus, the song really sucked, and I was a fan of Marilyn Manson up until this point....

Now I realize that this was supposed to be shocking and to get reactions like mine, but personally, I just think that its just a publicity stunt, because Manson hasn't really been in the spotlight for a while and this is the perfect thing that will get people talking about him again.....i don't know....

Evan Rachel Wood was in the movie 'Thirteen' which was pretty good and I thought that she was actual going places....but, i digress.....it just bothered me, thats all....whatever, let it go....its gone...

 OK!!! I'm done with that...now unfortunately I couldn't find anyone who wanted to go with me to the Smile Empty Soul concert tomorrow, so I'm not going to that....now, my focus is on the Incubus concert and finding people to go with....but, I am not above going by myself if I have to....though that would kinda suck...lol

Mood: tired
Listening to: MxPx

Wow....well, this has been a very long weekend....

Work yesterday seemed to last a lifetime and today wasn't too different....8 hours in Rx definitely takes its toll, plus the 4 hours today just made it seem like I'd never left!!! I've had a headache since about 11 AM yesterday and it doesn't seem to want to go away!!!

Tomorrow is the first day of my summer class...so exciting...actually I am kinda glad  to have something constructive to do beides going to work....I know that doing it online will be something different...I just hope that I don't have any troubles with my computer....its not always the most realiable thing here....anyway, I happy that I now have some purpose....i feel so adrift and I've only been out of school for about 2 weeks....amazing....i couldn't wait for the end, but know I'm glad to be going back....

So....my big news....as I so quickly threw together in my last entry...I did win those tickets to go see Incubus....this summer is coming together nicely....I have to say that this seems to be one of the best years in a long time....anyway, with winning those tickets I also won a spot on the guest list to go to a local music place to see another band called Smile Empty Soul....I really hope I can find someone to go with me, because they are a pretty cool band...and the theatre that they're playing at is really cool....you are so close to the stage, no mega screens needed to see this show!! Its this Friday...and luckily I don't have to work...so hopefully I can go!!

Ah....the sun is shining down on me!!

Listening to: the wonderful radio!!!!

I WON!!!!

I won i won i won!!!

I won the tickets to go and see Incubus!!! This is so great!!!

I am so excited that I am shaking!!! This is so cool!!!!

Mood: good
Listening to: the radio

Ah....i love my days off....its a good time to just be lazy

Wow...i seem to be writing a lot lately....3 entries in one week...what a record!

Today (and tomorrow) I'm going to try to win tickets to go see Incubus....that entails me listening to the radio for long periods of time...and I get to start my count of the number of times they play the same song, over and over and over again...so far only about 3 songs have stood out...the new Fall Out Boy song (which sucks) has been played about 4times in 3 1/2 hours....the Green Day cover of "working Class hero" has been on 5 times today since I woke up....and that crappy Sum 41 song has been on twice in two hours....how can they get away with that?

I go and request songs that I haven't heard in a while and they go and play the same songs, which doesn't really make me like them any better, in fact it ,akes me hate that song even more!! This is why I really only listen to the radio if they are having a good contest (Incubus Tix!!!) Oh man...i really want to go and see that show, plus its a lot closer than most of the places I've been before are....only about a 45 min drive...as opposed to two hours to drive down to Giants Stadium...which was were I was going to go to see Live Earth, but since the tickets are sold out, and the cheapest you can get them on ebay is about $300 (for the CHEAP seats)...i've given up on that....which is a bummer because I was really looking foward to seeing the Smashing Pumpkins in concert...something I've been wanting to do since I was 12 and first heard them (on the radio, unfortunately :)  )

Oooh..they're playing Bush now...about time for some good songs!

Ok....wish me luck!!

Mood: tired
Listening to: RHCP-Snow (Hey Oh)

I would like to give a shout out to Nina15....thanks for the nice comment....:)

It makes me feel good to know that people actually read this thing...

Anyway....long day at work....actually only 5 hours, but they went by so slooow!! Peeked at the schedule for next week....looks like I'm in for the long haul....Sat through Weds...straight through!!!!! Good paycheck though...and i definitely need it for vacation....and gas.... :)

I can't believe that schools been done for a whole week now...i guess i'm just not used to getting out so early! My happiness is not going to last because my summer course starts on Mon....its an online class so I don't have to drive to school everyday...still, I wonder how a class titled Music in Movies can even be an online class...i mean, don't we have to watch and/or listen to movies and the music thats in it?? How can you do that online, unless the professor is going to stream it on the program...i have no idea....

Got a very good deal on the text for the class....here's a tip to any high school seniors who may read this....DO NOT buy your textbooks at the campus book store...you WILL get ripped off!!! I made that mistake my first semester and I paid a ridiculous amount of money....you can get used books from the school, but they gave me such crappy-ass books that I am never doing that again, if I can help it....Buy your books online at e-bay, half.com, amazon.com...any one of those places will probably have the book you want and the person will more than likely let you know the condition....I was totally ambushed at school when they handed me this book that looked like someone had puked on it....i could have gotten a new one. for about $50.00 more, but I decided against that...

Here's the kicker though....at the end of this semester, I tried to sell it back to the school...and they WOULDN'T take it back!! It was pretty much in the same condition that they had sold it to me, and those fuckers wouldn't give me anything for it! I ended up selling it online for 5 bucks...at least I got something for it...

I hope my "words of wisdom" were of some help...lol

Thats it for tonight.... 

Mood: saddish....
Listening to: The Vandals-" My Special Moment"

This may sound riduculous to some of you...invisible.....readers, but....

The Gilmore Girls are now officially off the air!!!.......and I just found out that most of my shows were either cancelled or ended....so, now what am i going to do on my nights off?

I will admit, I love the TV...although most of what's on is complete drivel...some of the shows are worth watching...and trust me, I take my television watching seriously....

On most nights...during the school year at least....I generally have enough time to watch maybe one show a night, if that...and I want that show to make me completely forget about the problems that I have to deal with in the "outside world"...for that hour, at least....this year I mostly watched shows that were on at 9pm or later because I usually wouldn't get home until after 8pm...so, Mondays I watched Heroes and taped "Drive"..."Drive" has now been cancelled....

Tuesdays...taped Gilmore Girls and watched House on at 9...Gilmore Girls is now done....

Weds....taped Jericho to watch on Thursdays after getting home from school....Jericho has now been cancelled....

Thurs...Smallville and Supernatural....(No work on Thours nights)... those are staying, as far as I know

Fri...nothing...

So now what am I left with? Why can't the network executives understand that most people are sick of reality TV and sitcoms? We need good shows that have good storylines and actors! Something that will focus our attention away from our real problems and let us relax and kick back...even if its just for an hour or so....I get enough reality by watching the news and I need a fictional story to take my mind off of that!!! Why do a bunch of fucking stuffed shirts get to decide what we should watch? Who are they to decide what people like? Ratings don't mean a damn thing...with people being as busy as they are, most people I know usually tape or tivo their favorite shows during the week to watch on the weekends when they are not as busy.....so, there is an audience out there, they just can't take their precious time away from more important things going on in their lives to watch a show when the "network" deems is the time they should watch the program!!! I tape most of my shows...(1) to watch them at a more convienent time and (2) to fast foward through all of the fucking commericals!!

In an hour long show about 15 minutes are just pure commericals! There are times when there are so many commerical breaks I completely lose track of the story line, and, therefore, lose interest in that particular episode...

RIDICULOUS!!!!

There...I feel better now....thanks for reading this totally irrational rant~~

:) 

Mood: tired

Well...i had written something on Sat. but I son't know where it went....oh well...

No work tomorrow...whoo hoo...i think im spending the day with a friend...maybe catch a movie...nice day off!

As i'm slowing getting into the summer mood, I have to reflect back on this year...i can not believe that almost a year has gone by since i graduated high school. i know it seems like I'm harping on this subject, but i guess now I'm really starting to understand what is happening with my life...

today in the gift shop, they started putting out the graduation stuff and i got very nostalgic...which i don't know why i am...high school totally sucked for me, and yet, there is a part of me that really misses it....weird....

this year, my younger cousin is graduating...we went to the same school.....one of my other cousins is getting married in Sept....AND another cousin is having a baby!..Oh, my god....everyone is growing up!!!

My cousin...graduating one...lol....is the one who went to the green day concert with me...the one who spent many a day with me during the summers...the one who went trick-or-treating with me..and the one who's family came with us on vacations...we sort of grew apart during this time...she became more interested in her art (she's hoping to become an artist...or something..) and I...well, i didn't really have a smooth transition into high school and adolescence....always the outsider and never really feeling a sense of belonging....

Still, i have some many fond...and fun...memories of us when we were younger....going to the fair, going out on the boat, her coming over to my house to go sledding..........i miss it....

I probably should be telling her this, instead of a blank entry screen....maybe i will...

Anyway, the other cousins....we were never as close, mainly because of the age differences...and the fact that one (baby) lived out in Cali until about 5 years ago....

Just thinking about how everyone else seems to have their life in order is sort of depressing...i mean, i have no idea what the hell I'm doing...these questions are constantly being asked...by family, professors, administrators, and I have no real answer for them....i get so angry whe  people act like I'm already a hopeless case...that because I don't have any plans for the future automatically makes me a loser!!!!

I am so young....i'm fucking 18!!! Why the fuck should I have the rest of my life planned out???!!! I don't want to have to settle down at the age of 21 with the career that I'm going to have until I'm 50... i want to explore, I want to see the world for what it is, not just the flashes that appear on the 5pm news!! I don't want to be stuck with a baby at 22...i don't think I even want to have kids...does that make me a bad person?!?! I don't think so...I'd rather not contribute to the overpopulation of this country and this world, thank you very much!!!

Ok....calming down....well, its been a lovely chat! :)

Mood: t.i.r.e.d
Listening to: Bad Religion

i am so freakin' tired its not even funny....this was the longest day ever!!!!

worked 9-5 today and since i work in a card shop....everyone was buying mothers day cards and gifts....i cannot even guess how many people i rang up at the register...probably at least 100...

my back hurts, my legs hurt...everything hurts from standing up and running back and forth to wrap stuff...we were held up about a half-hour just trying to get everyone out of the store...at least we are getting paud for that!! thats a plus....

well tomorrow is mothers day and I am so glad that i'm not working tomorrow, I do'n twven want to think how busy it'll be tomorrow with those last-minute shoppers!!!

ok...i can type anymore...im going to sleep.....

Mood: tannish....
Listening to: AFI

My first day of "summer"!!....and i have to go to work in about 40 minutes....thats sucks!!

At least I did take some time to go outside....read a book in the sun....that felt nice...

I am determined to have a really great summer! I'm going to go outside more, hang out with friends more...and have a vacation for the first time in about 6 years!!

Hopefully my plan will work....:)

I've already sold a few of my textbooks...made about $75 so far....not too bad considering I spent nearly 200 bucks on them all...but if I sold them back to the school I'd be lucky to even get 1/4 of their value...and I think tomorrow I'm going to go take my "earnings" and buy some summery clothes, all of my stuff from last year doesn't really fit me anymore....they're not too small...they are actually too big/stretched out! Amazing considering that my diet this year consisted mainly of PB & J sandwiches and chimichangas....oh, yes...can't forget the keebler snack crackers!! lol

Oh well....i'm going to go and savor the last 30 mins before I'm locked inside for 5 hours....

BYE!

Mood: tired.....bored

Well...it is official! I am now done with my first year of college, and I have to say....it's been an interesting year....i feel so grown up now!!

Yeah, right.....lol

But it is sort of true....i've had many new experiences, some with were helpful and some which were quite a shock....i feel as if i'm straddling the line between still being a kid and really being an adult...ya know? Sometimes I really want to just stay a kid as long as I can....I want to delay what will happen for as long as I can...and yet, there are times when I want to be taken seriously, especially by my parents, who still see me as a little kid....

I don't know....its such a surreal feeling....when I think back to one year ago today...I was still in high school, I hadn't gotten my job yet, I was still worrying about APs and regents/finals and now when I think about it...I dont know why I was so worried...high school was so stupid....

On June 25th, it will have been exactly one year since I had graduated....the idea still hasn't really formed in my  mind yet....i know this may sound totally ridiculous, but there are mornings when I wake up and think that I am heading right back to where I left off last year...I'll be walking through the halls of AHS and going to all those idiotic and boring classes that I had to take....even though I hate to admit it, sometimes I do miss it....

I know that I won't miss the dumbasses I had to tolerate, though there are still so many more of them out there....frankly most of the people that I went to school with can all go to hell....they definitely didn't make my life any easier....though, to be fair I suppose, I wasn;t exactly an apporachable-looking person...although I wasn't the kid who dressed all in black and had piercings in every part of their body, I was pretty stand-offish....I didnt really look at anyone, nor strike up any conversations.....there were times that I could go an entire day without saying a word until I got home....it was pretty sad....

I'm not saying that I was a complete loner, its just that I've never been a really social person, and I've always found it hard to connect with people....I am still a loner of some sorts....but, I'm not the kind of "loner" who goes and shoots up the school....which seems to be a big trend nowadays...I just like being left to myself and not bothered....

Wow...this is getting kind of long....I guess I just have a lot to say....:)

Anyway...back to where I initially started....end of school...

So yeah...my finals went pretty well, I think....got the grade back on the bio lab final that I thought that I bombed...got an 82, not too shabby...everything else I won't know until the gradeas are put out, so probably in a couple of weeks

Taking a summer class...just felt like staying a little ahead of my required courses....after this class and the rest of my fall semester, I will have completed all of the core courses that are needed t0 graduate and that will leave my about 2 1/2 more years to focus in on my major....whoo....hoo...:)

This summer class is an on-line course...so that should be interesting....at least I'll have a more flexible schedule....good, because I plan on getting a real nice tan this year, not unlike last year where I spent about one full day in the sun and ended up with the absolute worst sunburn I've ever had....won't be doing that again..lol

Ok..its getting late...i'm off to watch my taped episode of the Gilmore Girls....only one more left and then its all over!!!! My childhood to over!!!!!

Mood: chilly
Listening to: 15 Minutes by The Broadways

Today wasn't too bad.....at least I didn't have to work....

Went to lunch with my cousin (the one who's coming on vacation w/ us) and it went pretty well, except that she was constantly texting people...which is pretty annoying and she also insisted on having a smoke (she's fucking 17!!!). Why would you decide to kill yourself in that way??!!

Whatever.....it was nice though, at least I got to talk to her a little bit....i haven't had a real conversation with in her a long,long time, and I figured that if we're going to be on a two week vacation, we probably should be communicating a bit  :) Even though i had to call her about 5 times just to get her to commit to lunch...she's kinda like that.....and that pisses me off a little bit, but.....i think that she needs to get away from here for a few days...ya know? It would be good for her....if you get my drift...(and even if you don't....)

Well...i only got until next Tues and then schools out...whoo hoo!!! except that i decided that it would be good to take a summer class...stupid me....but, its only until June 21st and then I'm done until August....i just need something to do besides work....

Okey dokey....i'm going.... :)