??...again..
Mood: ...
Listening to: radio
I feel like I haven't written for ages....but it's only been three days....I don't know....it seems that all of a sudden, time is going slower....school seems to take forever to finish....this week has been going slow....whereas the winter break went by too fast, that seems to be the way it is....
Nothing is in focus....I've kind of gone through all the motions of school and stuff like that...but I haven't really been "there"?...you know...? I'm tired of everything.....both physically and mentally....it seems that the "holiday spirit" that sort of filled the last two or three weeks of December is gone...and everyone is really bitchy....at least in my family.... Wednesday I had to go through twenty minutes of my mom screaming at me over something that started so simple.....I didn't feel like going to Barnes and Nobles bookstore to exchange some Christmas gifts....from there it came to how I never agreed with her (particulary concerning a stupid CD/DVD/VHS bookcase sort of thing...that she wanted me to get...but I didn't like it all that much.....).....next, that led to how lazy, sad, lonely, unmotivated, jobless, arguementative, and "friendless" she thinks I am....I didn't even say anything during this time.....but I ended up exploding when she was finsihed...and that didn't lead to anything good....so in the end I have an appointment to get a physical for my working papers application, and the threat that if I don't start looking for a job soon....she will chose one for me, and basically fill out the application for me....
I'm a little lost...I'll admit that....but the whole problem with this situation is that I won't have any way of getting to a job....my mom says she won't take me, she doesn't have the time....but for me to get a car, I will need to have a job.....but without a job I can't afford a car....its a whole vicious cycle...and it really sucks...
Well...on that happy note........
