Lisa Online

The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification. No MALE can possibly know all The Rules. If the FEMALE suspects the MALE knows The Rules, she must immediately change The Rules. The FEMALE is never wrong. If the FEMALE is mistaken, it is a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong. The MALE must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding. The FEMALE may change her mind at any time. The MALE must never change his mind without the written consent of the FEMALE The FEMALE has the right to be upset or angry at any time. The MALE must remain calm at all times, unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry and/or upset. If the FEMALE has PMS, all The Rules are null and void. The MALE is expected to mind read constantly and act accordingly. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in actual bodily harm. The MALE who doesn't abide by The Rules can't take the heat, lacks.

"Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow." Ronald E. Osborn "Our work is the presentation of our capabilities." Goethe "Man has made some machines that can answer questions provided the facts are profusely stored in them, but we will never be able to make a machine that will ask questions. The ability to ask the right question is more than half the battle of finding the answer." Thomas J. Watson "God does not ask about our ability, but our availability." Author Unknown "Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm" Winston Churchill "Ability will never catch up with the demand for it." Malcolm S. Forbes "During my eighty-seven years I have witnessed a whole succession of technological revolutions. But none of them has done away with the need for character in the individual or the ability to think." Bernard Mannes Baruch "One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency." Arnold H. Glasgow “We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.” Longfellow "If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability." Henry Ford "The ultimate leader is one who is willing to develop people to the point that they eventually surpass him or her in knowledge and ability." Fred A. Manske, Jr. "Natural abilities are like natural plants; they need pruning by study." Francis Bacon "Genius is the ability to put into effect what is on your mind." F. Scott Fitzgerald "Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it." Lou Holtz "Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones." Ralph Waldo Emerson "We all have ability. The difference is how we use it." Stevie Wonder "You are educated when you have the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or self-confidence." Robert Frost "You are the only person on earth who can use your ability." Zig Ziglar "The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what a man or woman is able to do that counts." Booker T. Washington “Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.” Josh Billings "Ability is of little account without opportunity." Napoleon

" Life is like a book with many different chapters, some tell of tragedy and others of triumph. Some chapter are dull and ordinary, others intense and exciting. The key to being a success in life is to never stop on a difficult page, to never quit on a tough chapter. Champions have the courage to keep turning the pages because the know a better chapter lies ahead." " I never let the grass grow under my feet because I don't keep the same position. When there's a chance, I don't take it but when there's an opportunity, I take it." " If you encounter difficulty, don't change your decision to go, change your direction to get there." " I will not accept fear, weakness, or failure. The only defeat I will accept is a matter in which is out of my hands. Therefore I will reach out my hands and change it." " Never give up, never quit… Persist..." " Life is like surfing. Sometimes we all get tied up on looking and waiting for that perfect wave to come along. While doing this, we forget that surfing is not about finding that awesome wave, it's about enjoying the moment, loving what you're doing, going with the flow and making the best of what's been given to you." " No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction." " I am in control of my own destiny." " Sometimes in life things happen and you think the world stops. Hold strong, really it has only changed direction, your future is always as bright as you want it to be." " Have courage when times may fail. Be not afraid to make a change. Take a chance on the inevitable. Make a difference in everything you do. Be the person who you were meant to be. Success is not born; it is made by those who seek to see the difference in everything, turning the impossible into a possible success." " You are what you think. Think positively and look at the bright sides of the world." " Balance between mind and body is what allows us to achieve the most in lives. Never lose the balance and you will always hold the focus needed to achieve your toughest goals." " The gap between where I am today and where I want to be is too vast, but I shall cover the distance by small leaps forward, for the tortoise never thought of the distance but kept leaping forward." " It is good to start doing things that you want to do, but then its better to start doing things that you were meant to do." " Pursue your objectives with a steadfast belief and confidence at each and every instance, whether in 'thought' or 'deed'." " Make it happen, help it happen, or get out of the way." " In the lives of great men, neither did fate give up, NOR DID THEY." " I sit in this world watching, listening and learning. All this hell that surrounds me will not bring me down. I am too strong, I love life too much to forget what is possible to attain, if you work hard and never give up." " Sometimes only the struggle makes it worth it, only the pain makes it sweet, and only victory is the answer." " Never Give Up! Find A Way To Win!" " To achieve it, you have to KNOW it in your HEAD and BELIEVE it in your HEART." " Don't look up to champions, be one." " It's not what you do that defines you. What defines you is how well you rise after you have fallen." " You are the world's greatest, when you say you are." " In order to achieve our dearest dream, we should never father the idea of failure or even second guess ourselves. As soon as we let our insecurities get the best of us and decide to settle for anything less than our dearest dream, all it will ever be is simply a dream." " If your mind is open, you will never face closed doors." " I do not think there is any thrill that can go through the human heart like that felt by the inventor as he sees some creation of the brain unfolding to success... Such emotions make a man forget food, sleep, friends, love, everything." " Desire, dedication and determination is the only formula of success." " Those who dream of success, dream with their eyes wide open. They set goals, work hard, overcome obstacles and achieve success." " I you think you've done it, then you're wrong. Because you're not finished until you have achieved everything that you never thought you could." " For man is in control of his own destiny, have faith of what you can do, for it only boils down to the level of your desire to achieve your dreams." " If you're not a step ahead, are you sure you're not a step behind?" " When you are looking for something, you must believe you will find it. When you are scared, you must believe your fear cannot overtake you. The hope in your heart will always be there and once you access it-the possibilities are endless." " Why cry if you can laugh? Why wait if you can act? Get out there - make a difference!" " No matter how many times you fail at something, you are never a failure until the day you quit trying." Here's the difference between a Champion and Others: " A champion, when he fell, always got back up and tried even harder. He slowed down over the speed bumps and hit a pothole now and then, but each time, he kept going. He didn't care how bad it hurt or hard he had to try. Others, on the other hand, when they fell, stayed there. Maybe tried to get up and kept falling and didn't try to get up anymore. Stopped at the speed bumps and fell into the potholes. Quit when he hurt and was tired. If you want to be a champion, try and try again. Never let your hopes slip out of your hands." " The 3 P's to success - Passion, Persistence & Patience." " Warriors, like all men, always fear failing but they never ever in their life let fear take control over them." I came up with this while I was training with my Varsity X country team. It goes through my mind before every hard practice and before every game or race. " Celebrate your failures. Failures teach you to succeed in life. One failure opens the door for hundreds of successes."

1. Why does a man have a clear conscience? 
Because it's never used.

2. Why are men so happy?
Because ignorance is bliss.

3. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a
women?
Because when it's time to go back to childhood, he's already
there.

4. If a man and a woman fell off a 10-story building at the same
time,who would reach the ground first?
The woman, the man would get lost.

5. How are men like commercials?
You can't believe a word either one of them says and they both
last about 60 seconds.

6. How do men exercise at the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a woman in a
bikini.

7. What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

8. What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Bonds mature.

9. What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.

10. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.

11. What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A tourist.

12. If men got pregnant ....
Psychiatric Services and serious pain killers would be available
in convenience stores and drive-through windows.

13. Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the
Olympics?
He had it bronzed.

14. What is gross stupidity?
144 men in one room.

15. How many men does it take to pop popcorn?
Three. One to hold the pan and two others to show off and shake
the stove.

16. How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable."

17. Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

18. What does a man consider to be quality time with his wife?
Pulling the sheets over her head and saying, "Great chili, Babe!"

19. A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of
35 think of?
Dating children.

20. What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

21. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.

22. Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence.

23. How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

24. How is being at a singles bar different from going to the
circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.

25. What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
of driving.

26. What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift?
Exchange him.

27. Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract.

28. Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odors, and don't work half
the time.

29. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

30. What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.

My Generation – I am born in the year 1968
(includes people born within a 15 year time span.)

I was born in a period when there was an underlying current of
creativity and sensitivity to the plight of mankind.
As a group we make a move towards improving social institutions
by infusing them with new concepts that are more sensitive
to the human condition.

I was born in a period when there was an underlying current of
restlessness and need for extreme personal freedom prevailed.

My generation is blessed with an acute psychic awareness.
We tend to enjoy, even thrive on exploring the unexplained.

While we do make a difference in the war against injustice,
my inability to compromise does hamper the progress I strive for.
My generation group has an all or nothing attitude,
and sometimes the end result of my efforts is nothing.