Lemmiwinksx

Mood: Good
Listening to: Tenacious D - Baby

Well today am feeling mega happy, i don't know why but yersh i am :]]]
i got my hair cut on friday, at first i didn't like it... now i am rather fond of it :]]] it makes my face look weird but it can be nice to me haha...

I look a bit boyish but hey, that's my style haha a very Flagrant GAY lmao. but yer, it does look pretty boss to be fair :]]] i mean when she cut it i was thinking yayyy but when i looked in the mirror i just looked strange!!! GRRRR lol but yer am happy now i have styled it properly :]]] and founbd the right structure to go into it haha

I have been way to busy to post any blogs on here! I have just finished my assignment which hopefully i get a good mark for >.< because i done more work for that assignment than i have done in any other!!! I really enjoyed doing it though :]]] but yer now i am onto Fashion... I hate fashion! It's just mega stupid tbh! But tomorrow, hopefully me and my best friend are going to be going back into 3D because there is this specialist woman coming in to do some clay thing so yer, maybe we can get out the first day of Fashion hahahaha Fingers Crossed :p

I have had an ok week to be honest, i talked to Hayley as much as i could when i could :] which was good because i spent about 3 hours gibbering onto her haha and a few people haver started talking to me properly again... Lee started talking to me again which i am happy about :] he is proper adorable hahah but he does call me names which is evil but yersh, he makes me laugh which is probably why my mood is very high :]]]
Emily from canada started talking to me again aswell :]]] she used to talk to me like every day but yer we lost touch, i don';t know quite what happened but yersh we have started talking to each other which is a plus because i might be going to canada with Sophie so we might have someone to show us around :]]] haha would we well good :]
And hmmm, Ljay phoned me, i mean i want to see her but she's just one of those people who mess you about, and i do not want to be messed about! because it is REALLY annoying, and my mood would just drop yet again! She's just so cute and yer GRRR oh well :]]]
WOOOO i get to meet Hayley VERY soon :D:D:D can't wait for that haha. I keep threatening to not kiss her when she does something evil to me... Blesh lol... I think she knows i will anyways but yer :p lol lets not tell her that :]]] haha

I am meant to be going out with my nan at this very moment but she doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight! I mean i phoned her an hour ago! And she said she will be round in a minute! haha.... One hour later.... No Sign at all! ohhhh well... She'd probably go off on one with me if she didn see me because she hasn't seen my lip piercing yet and she doesn't like piercings! lmao OOPS. But i can't just look like what people want me to look because i like being different and if my dad says don't do it... I obviously will! but yer, my mum and dad have got used to it now... The bar in it just needs changing because when i talk it reaches my chin hahaha so yer that's a plan for tomorrow :]]]

Anyways, i am going to go and watch TV and see if my nan eventually comes round :]

stay safe
x

Mood: good
Listening to: the tv

well the past couple have days have been pretty alright, i mean i was meant to be in work today but i got a phone call saying i didn't have to be in, LAUGHIN lol, yer, i didn't really want to go in today but hey i would have if they asked me too.
but anyways yes, i got woken up this morning by Ljay phoning me haha, rather nice thing to wake up to but yer,m i was really tired so i didn't exactly sound too pleased >.< but yer, my mum bought me a new duvet so i got a great nights sleep :] was so comfortable.
but yer, i was just so tired but i eventually got out of bed after ljay hanging up >.< but yer i went and weighed myself because yer... once again... obsessed with my weight >.< but i got on and i had lost 4 pounds :] which is good >.< haha but yer, i still feel fat and horrible. But i just love eating, i can't help it. I mean when i eat to much i just feel so low with myself, so yer, i let that out in other forms of stress on myself... so yer... but i haven't self harmed in a few months now which is good.
i mean, i really don't understood why i done it anyway, it's just for people who are seeking attention! even if they say they aren't seeking attention, but it really is! Maybe i was seeking attention? probably... i mean i wanted attention for people to help me.
finaly did get help, but not very good help which just made me feel worse with myself so i gave up on that part of it and decided to help myself! which is what other people should do! i mean it isn't easy but it can be done! just have no soddin will power!
and what pisses me off too... is when younger ones like myself... i mean am not young... but am not old either... but yer aged between 10 - 25 say they want to die because their life just isn't "worth living" when they obviously haven't even lived their life!!! shit happens... why do people just think its easy to think ohhh i want to die... it really pisses me off... say you want to die and your life isnt worth living when you've actually lived your life... failed to get a job... failed to get a relationship... failed to have friends and family who love you!
*sigh*
sorry to rant on but some lad was just on about being so depressed and he is like 14... hmm... serious, what is wrong with the world today? i mean no one is perfect! but yes people these days need to think about things around them aswell... family and friends who would be devistated if something happened...
but anyways
back to happiness :]]]
am bored.... we went to mfi before to look for a new bed for me... which i cant wait to get because i absolutely hate having a single bed... i mean i am getting older... haha.... and yer we went to tkmaxx but its gone all dodgy... there were no clothes in there that i liked at all... was just all old foggie stuff haha and then we went to currys becasuse i want an ipod, but they were still expensive haha and themn we went to matalan which made me feel icky because i tried jeans on and they just didn't fit at all haha but ohhh well
yer... i dunno what else to write so am just going to watch the simpsons :]

love,
Rea
x

Mood: great
Listening to: the sound of the dodgy computers in college

well at the moment i wam in college :]]
i said i would write a blog for every day but i haven't exactly been online lately... been to busy with college work and the stock take in work >.< how exciting ehh?? haha
well yersh, the times i have been online i have been pretty busy anyways, don't ask what with because i really don't know myself haha, watching dvds and things
well am sitting next to sophie and well i have had a pretty alright day in college, i have actually gone a whole week of college without being off :] yayy go me :]]]
but yer, we just had contextual studies in the mornign and we were just writing a load of jibberish about stuffhaha on this sheet that shudda been done like ages ago but i just couldntbe bothered to be quite honest, but today i am in the mood to work :] which is actually a first for me haha, i have just been designing my idea for this decorative screen i have to do for my final piece, all has to be in by next week.
i have really enjoyed working in this are of the course because the drawings and everythingdont have to be perfect, i hate drawing perfect pieces of work, it is so plin and boring.
plus i have changed my mind about what i am going to take by march. i am going to take 3d which is what i am doing now. i am enjoiying it alot more than graphics, i have done about twice as much work as what i would do in graphics or fashion so yer, thats my choice sorted :]]] haha. plus i had a long deep conversation with m mac tutor about photoshop and what i can do in 3d to use it because i love that part aswell haha
i mean i wanna be a photographer but i really cant do it without going into the graphics side of things which really pissed me off tbh >.< i love photography but yer, haha ohhh well eh, but he said that i could still do a bit of photography for the 3d side of things but just isnt the same as doing the photography properly because only do the digital stuff and dont get to go in the dark room which was well good :]]] haha

but yer, life seems to be pretty alright now. besides not hearing from ljay in over a week but oh well, if she cant be bothered neither can i :p haha but hayley has :]] wooo which is rather good, aww bless her, she is really adorable :]]] she phoned me the other night just to hear me hahah, but she like wasted £10 on me which i was like ;o shit lol, but oh well, shes boss, i love talking to her and everything :]]] and rea, haha shes boss too, was talking to her the other night :]]] she does make me laugh i must say. but yer hayley is coming to see me in february i think it is now so yer, not too long.. haha EEP! meeting the parents already :p lmao
but yer, haha i had a really strange dream last night, am not even going to go into it because it was just.... WEIRD... but yer haha, was rather amusing too me :]]]

GAHHHH am not to happy about me putting even more weight on though, i litterally cried when i got off the scales. I AM!!!! going to loose weight... wether my body wants to or not, its just i have been eating really horrible things and i cant help but love food, so am gunna start eating more healthaly and yer i am going to do a bit of exercise, don't know what yet but i will haha. yer i done about 200 situps yesturday, but they made me put even more wweight on because of the mussle, i hate the way bodies work, it is rather annoying i must say hahah but oh well eh :]]]]
gotta be a possetive one about everything :]]]

I got in last night and my dad was like, you need to loose weight, i was like haha sod off, i already know this, my dad really isnt good and bringing my self asteem up, my mum says love your body as you want people too, so i try, i mean i dont think i carry the weight to badly, it's just i hate the way its just there... and i cant seem to loose it!
SO ANNOYING!!!

the college computers are stupid, they have blocked all the proxy sites so i cant go and check all emails and stuff on my various sites haha, but yer, i have the urge to paint now :]]] good job am making my screen this afternoon. painting onto fabric i am :]]] how cool ehhh???

anyways i am going to go and talk to sophie haha well when she's finished typing her blog :]]]

Loves,
Rea
x

Mood: ok i guess
Listening to: Mason vs. princess superstar - perfect exceeder

well today was going well until i came home :[
I got up feelign great about myself and great in every way, even feeling well, which is an unlikelyhood of mine, ut yes i went into work at 10 o'clock after waking my mum up and pestering her to give me a lift to work because it was raining, but yes i got into work and well as every sunday goes, no one wants to be in work, but i wasn't too bad. Once the shop openened and business was going well i started to feel really possetive.
we were doing the stock take things in work again today which is actually a job i like, so i was happy about that, then 2 hours went by so fast and i went off for my diner and bumped into my mum in sainsburys so her being nice she bought me some food :]]] and then i went back and ate it in the back.
it was really quite in the shop today so i was messing round with the toys and there were some mega cute kids comign into the store so i'd try and entertain them a bit, although some kid was like trying up pull on my lip bar haha, was rather amusing but hey, but yer, by the time i looked at the clock i had worked 7hours :] so yer that was a good day :]
Then i came home, my side began to hurt liek really bad and i couldn't move, i really didn't know what it was but every time i sat down i couldnt laugh or move or anything! which was just annoying because i laugh loads! so that kinda annoyed me alot!
but yer, i ate my tea and then came up here where i have been sitting for a little while. Then i was just thinking, and i dont know why but i have just been thinking about my future... once again, i havent got a very possetive outlook on life. I can just see me stuck working in a toy shop for the rest of my life! I never know what i wanna do, i mean i want to be a photographer, but i really don't think i am good enough and it just really upset me that i can't think "oh yes i am going to be this" and it just made me think about my old habbits and stuff and GAHH i feel so down >.< not a very good habbit i must say, but yer. I don't know what i wanna do with my life, someone said the other day for me to just die, makes everything easier. Haha, am not that drastic but yer, i just want a job that pays well and that i enjoy... gahh, oh well.
i try and think possetive all the time, it just doesn't happen, i really do not think highly of anything, and i dont even realise when i am hurting peoples feelings, thats how much of a heartless bitch i am, even my mum said i was heartless. oh well.

And if my evening wasn't shit enough, this girl that likes me, like i didn't even know she liked me. she told me she dumped her girlfriend and i was just like "why?" and she was like because i like you... and i was like hmm. you what? what are you planning to get out of saying this??? i mean, she must expect me to go out with her :s i was really confused, i didn even know she liked me for one and two, i told her what i was like before we even started talkign abotu anything!
she knows i am not a relationship person because i jsut ruin things for one... two is that she lives far away.... three is i dont like her, i mean shes atractive, but no... and well i just didnt understand and she was just like well i thought you liked me :s
i dont know what i have done to make her think that, i talk to her, like a nice person should talk to people but i have never said anything to make her think i like her.

Oh well... WOMEN ha

yer am gunna go to bed in a sec because am tired and i have work at 12 >.<

Love,

Rea
x

Mood: ok
Listening to: big brother

well today wasnt to great "/ gahhh neither is any day but yanno. I realised that i am never fully well, and when i am feeling ok, i am tired. I think that maybe i have a problem >.< ohhh well
so yer, i got up, threw up then ate then went to college and stuff like that and yer i was doing my contextual work and i was just like really ill so i went home and wooo my Mighty Boosh DVDS had came and Tenacious D album which made me rather happy :]]]
I watched 2 episodes of the mighty boosh and just fell asleep on the sofa >.< then i woke up and played the sims on the playstation and went to work at 5 which wasn't actually that bad, we didn't do much, we are just getting ready for a stock take so i was on till while amy and pam were going round the shop >.< so yer my day was extreamly exciting.

Ljay might be staying over tomorrow, she said that she would phone me later >.< so yer, might be something to look forward to if i'm not ill. GAHHHH

I am extreamly cold and really can't be bothered writing a blog haha so it's going to be short and sweet lmao, well not realy sweet.
Big brother is on, jade goody and her family are going into the house and the housemates are servants lmao.
anyways yer, am bored, haha play the sims later i am :]]]


WOOOOO Rea started talking to again properly :]]] i proper love her haha, we are basically the same"!!! its boss! have the same sence of humour :] gosh she makes me smile :] lmao and we were having a long conversation about sex and stuff lmao. best subject ever lmao.
anywhooo
AM TIRED
and Ugly betty is on now :D yayyy
so yer, gunna go watch that :]]]]

x
x