Weblog of Lauren

Mood: restless
Listening to: lola stars and stripes - the stills

So this morning began with 6 hits to the snooze button and then the realization that i was late.....which throws my whole morning as i am headed to Miami tomorrow and as usual before i leave for vaca there are a million things to be done.

then i turn on the TV.....this whole thing w/ London and the explosions and craig who rides the tube to and from work everyday.....i tried calling several times but could not get through. this is to be expected of course. i emailed him once i got to work and still have not heard anything. i am certain that he is fine but still.....i recognize one of the stations hit as one on the line that we rode many times.... i do not know if it is one on his commute.... i am hoping it isnt.

so to miami for brenda's 30th bday party. she has no idea that i am coming. i love the element of surprise. i love a good sneak attack! i also plan to surprise the rents on saturday. i have not been home in....hmmm... damn it all! its been over a year and a half! i have not seen B or Tig'r or anyone else in over a year! it hardly seems like that much time has passed. the older you get the faster time moves.

i am hoping for time to move quickly over the next few months...though i am ever aware of my Mother's advice to me as a kid whenever i would throw a fit about not being old enough to do something.." i cant wait until i am older"..... "dont wish your life away Lauren". still, i am hoping for a quick transition, a quick healing process, a quick and nearly momentary period where everything will re allign itself back into a pattern that i can recognize....something with more certainty.

Mood: hungry...its nearly lunchtime!
Listening to: Random Car, Built like Alaska

My first....just like on the pages of a book only with more pressure for poignancy and more comfort knowing there is a backspace button to use with abandon should I require it.....unlike a pen, nothing here is truly permanent. Unlike a book however, I have you, the real "universal" you to contend with.

So I have "settled" into my new digs. 3 days now and it's really quite lovely at times.....when I am not melting from the summer heat or the TV is not vying for my attention from the buses and people outside of my window. But there is sunlight in abundance and the dishwasher...which i ran for the first time last night...i almost feel spoiled...almost. But mostly I miss my real home...my little microcosm of a world, the fishbowl we all refer to as B Land. And i miss the people...you most of all though your just shy of 6 miles from me...i miss you. I know that you will move forward, making alterations and revisions so that on the days when I come to visit I will recognize it less and less.

So much change and reavaluation (and I usually find comfort in change) that it's even difficult for Jasper. Though I am happy to say that I found him this morning, sunning himself on the arm of the sofa, purring contentedly.