http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite Read the online Journal of Harlot Meretrix. Learn more about the life of this young writer from New Hampshire, through her personal entries. For more information on Harlot Meretrix, visit the following sites: http://harlotmeretrix.blogspot.com/, http://harlotmeretrixinc.blogspot.com/, http://harlotmeretrixfanclub.blogspot.com/, http://vampirefreaks.com/profile.php?user=HarlotMeretrix -Thank You! en HarlotMeretrix HarlotMeretrix Fri, 04 Mar 2005 15:15:46 +0100 daily 1 I miss being a kid. I really miss the natural happiness children have. I want that back. Being around children and working with them really seemed to help me gain back some happiness. I received a lot of “in the moment” relief from my sickness, through the preschool. But it no longer continues to give me as much pleasure as it used to. It hurts to know that I am living with something that I will have for the rest of my life. It hurts to know that everyday I wakeup I have to fight a constant battle against myself. And that there’s really no way of winning that battle, because up until the moment I die I’ll still be fighting it. I that I live to have kids, but surviving one day at a time is a miracle for me. I feel like my bipolar and everything else that is wrong with me is eating me alive. It feels as if it’s slowly killing me, making me suffer. I am tired of suffering. Please just make it stop. When I wake up every morning I feel like “Oh my god, am I going to die today?” I ask myself that... Fri, 04 Mar 2005 15:15:46 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/I-just-want-to-be-happy-again/7/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/I-just-want-to-be-happy-again/7/ Now that I really think about it I guess sleep can sometimes be an  escape . If I don't want to face  something , I can always sleep to  avoid it. But then I sometimes end up disappointing myself, because I missed a whole day. I could have been doing something instead of wasting time sleeping forever. I  often decide to sleep in for the  stupidest reasons. Like skipping school. I 'm just causing myself to get even further behind in all my classes. I'm just giving myself more *crap to deal with. Or that  I’ll have to deal with, eventually. I just have so much crap to take care of, and work to make up that I'm so over  whelmed and don't know what to do with myself.... Fri, 04 Mar 2005 01:58:08 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Monnday-Feb.-14th-2005-9-58pm/6/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Monnday-Feb.-14th-2005-9-58pm/6/ I feel that people see you for who you've always been, not for who you are. -Talking about people at school and hat live in the area, also family. Fri, 04 Mar 2005 01:50:57 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Monday-Feb.-14th-2005-9-55pm/5/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Monday-Feb.-14th-2005-9-55pm/5/   I went a long time without talking to Tommy and then I saw him at school. He didn’t see me, but it was enough to make me want to call him. So, I did.... We made plans to go ice fishing that weekend, but the conditions weren’t safe enough, so we watched movies at his house. Now things are so different being just friends. Fri, 04 Mar 2005 01:46:14 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Just-Friends/4/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Just-Friends/4/ I am finally single! I dumped my boyfriend of almost two years on January second. (It would have been two years on May 5 th .) I feel so free! I never thought that I could do it. But I'm so glad that I did. He is such *jerk.... Thank god he is no longer a part of my life. He ruined my life and treated me like *crap. And for the longest time everyone was always trying to tell me to get rid of him, but I never listened. I just laughed it off. He is a scumbag. He's the raunchiest piece of *crap that I've ever come across. And I'm glad that we are through. I just can't waite till he gets it through his *thick head and stops calling me at home and leaving me *weird text messages and voice mails on my cell phone. He needs to realize that I am no longer his *booty, to force apon acts in which I do not want to participate in. He used to try and take pictures of me when I'm naked and save them on his computer and go online and pretend he's a girl and send people the pics of me so he can pic up chicks... Sat, 22 Jan 2005 01:43:01 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Finally-Single/3/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Finally-Single/3/ I read all the time, whether it's magazine's, books, whatever.... I love to read! I can't waite until I'm done with my current project (my autobiography). God only knows when that will be finished,,,, It so hard to have it finished too, how do I end it???? It's my autobiography.... I don't know. But keep up with my posts. And I hope that you are keeping your little minds busy and growing by reading all you can get your greedy little hands on. Reading is the best way to self educate yourself. (Or you can read to others and educate them.) Aaaaa.... The power of reading.–Harlot Sat, 22 Jan 2005 00:20:06 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Read/2/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Read/2/ To everyone who is reading this, I give many thanks. I am very grateful to you. Thank you so much for always being such faithful fans. I appreciate everything you do. You are so important to me. Thank you for your support.  Love Always, Harlot Sat, 22 Jan 2005 00:15:23 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Thank-You/1/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/HarlotMeretrixSite/Thank-You/1/