Simplicity

Mood: wishful
Listening to: Shout by Otis Day

    I am decidedly sure that i was simply born in the wrong time period. I watched the movie Finding Neverland recently.  And for thoes of you who haven't seen it, it tells the story of the life of the author who wrote the play Peter Pan.  Now how watching a simple film could throw me into such a reflective and dreamlike mood i will never know.  But despite being a strange trigger to my emtional wellspring, i found myself starring of into space with tears running down my face, wishing for someone or somewhere that could inspire that deep sense of innocence and wonder that the characters in the story had. (wow that was a really long sentance..) 
    Perhapes this is the reason the idea of spending my life looking after my own bunch of "lost boys" appeals to me so. To be able to see things through the eyes of children, freed from the bonds of this earth by imagination, and filled with a facination for the simpler things. I look around me at the vulger debotched humur and lifestyles everywhere i turn and i am sure i would have thrived in a time of the past when things in general were more "proper". Though i know i would consider such life stiffling to a certain degree, i also know i would not miss the crude way people look at life today.
    Pretending. Something i need to practice and regain my talent for. I havem in most respects i believe, a sunny disposition. But, over the past few years i seem to have lost touch with the enchanted side of things. To be facinated by all around me...I miss that part of my soul. it IS still there, which i doubted for a time, it is just unused. At least throughout the majority of the last year.
    Now at last m however, i am returning to that place inside me that was locked away and dormant.  Small things are bringing it back to life.  Sunny walks along the road side.  A blissful moment of breathing the scent of white lillies.  Revisiting my infatuation with twilight. Soaking up the feeling of wonder while watching stars dance across dark velvet.
    I very much doubt i will ever meet anyone who will understand this part of me. But...If that person is somehow out there...That possability in itself gives me hope.