Life is never fair
Mood: Accepted anguish
Listening to: Tea and sympathy by Jars of clay
The rest of my life is just ducky, but that part of it is always in a constant state of turmoil.
(oh and please pardon my long absince, sometimes life gets so out of control you can't take the time to spill it out onto the page.)
Yes The man in question who i thought was in love with someone else...well...apparently i couldn't have been more wrong. He cares for me. He cares for me and i can't do anything. i have this chance to be with him and i can't take it.
A chance but no hope,
A love but no freedom,
A choice but no options,
Story of my life.
He is so amazing, and i am truely honored that he would think so highly of me and want to be with me...but it dosen't take away the fact that he is missing that one vital part. Faith. I can't forget that, i can't simply jump in anyway, and i can't ask him to change. I would be selling myself short and it wouldn't be fair to him.
(Dear Lord be with me....)
I have only one course of action... Nothing. I can do nothing. Nothing can happen. Oh how this hurts... My heart has been wrung and my wreched exsistance is in agony. There is an ache in my chest that hasn't gone away. I wonder if it ever will.
But this is as it has to be.
I can live without a man....I couldn't live without my Lord.
I made that choice, that promise, years ago. I will stand by it. No matter the torture and heartache i have to endure.
The man who gets my heart will love God more than he loves me.
