Simplicity

Mood: Awake
Listening to: the wirrrr of the fan...

I wonder exactly what part of our brain is wired so that we were made to sleep durring the night rather than the day... Right at this point i am wishing i could bypass whatever circuit it is so i could get some sleep!! *Sigh* Working night shift can be a bit of a annoyance at times.
   At any rate life goes on (With or without sleep) and at times i find it very hard to keep up. We just finished moving into our new appartment this weekend. Yay!!!! And let me tell you, it has a view and a half! We are very very happy. Especially now that we are free from our old landlord who, i hate to say, seemed to care more about money than anything else.  Where as our new landlord dosen't much care at all! ^^ its so refreshing... hehe and our new landlord is also a very proactive kind of guy. For example: We were having a problem flushing our toilet so we mentioned it to him... The next day he was there with a backhoe digging up the entire septic!! hehe needless to say our toilet is fine now. ^^ He's a blessing big time, and so is this place we now call home.
    On another note, i have discovered i am a person who easily gives up on certain things. Myself for example. But also i give up on God quite a bit too. Just when i think something has ended badly and is gone forever, here comes God, snaping me back to the begining so i can start over again. You would think i would have learned by now now to give up on God of all people! But ahh silly me... I can be a bit dense at times.

Till next time...

Much Love

Mood: Yearning for sun
Listening to: My brother and his friends role playing...very loud...

Ahh spring is here! Thoes with cabin fever unite! ahh me, heh, anyway. Yes i have a severe longing for warm sunny days. (although all we seem to be getting is nasty last winter blasts) At any rate here i am begining this journal over again. (I wonder how many of these things i have started over the years...) It must be a spring of new beginings, my husband and i will be moving to a new appartment soon... (I am SO in love with it!), my mom will be graduating from nursing school soon. My hubby is getting his license back and we are being given a brand new toyota tundra. (very manly truck. :) ) And thoes are just a few of the major things going on here in the lives of a simple new hampshire family. heh... Yes but i am currently at my parent's house doing my weekly laundry run, only this time i'm by myself, no hubby to keep me company... not quite as much of a pleasent time, but thats ok. I'll survive! ^^  any way i hope the next few enties will be a bit more enthralling, till then...

Much love.

Mood: Trusting
Listening to: Still the one by The Orleans

Well actually i haven't had that chance to settle my issue with the man i care for...we've been too busy to openly talk about anything pertaining to ourselves. So i still have yet to "get it over with" . Perhapes its just as well however. I think this is too my advantage to have time to make sure my emotions are in check so i can face this armed to the teeth with every resource i posses. But how do you look someone in the eye and tell them that you care but nothing can ever happen? Especially when he has said (and i quote) " I would give up anything to be with someone like you." How do you refuse something so precious? I do not take such things for granted, and i want him to know that.
But even despite this acute era of winter sunshine in my life. I can still feel the warmth, the glow that resonates out of my being from my quiet soul. It stirs from silent rest to raise eyes to a wolrd full of hope. 
God works His miricles from within.

Mood: Searching...
Listening to: Breathe by Anna Nalick

Mood: Trying to be brave
Listening to: Superman by five for fighting

Well tonight is the night.  I will refuse the man i care for and atempt to go back to my normal life. *sigh* God be with me..... If he so much as trys to argue the point i might lose it..and i might not be able to say no...
No....
NO!
I have more self-control than that. i know i do.

I will simply call upon any and all resources i have to withstand the onslaught that is sure to happen. Then again perhapes he has changed his mind...wouldn't that make my life easier.  Hey i can hope can't i?

How easy it is to say i have faith when life is in a state of calm. And how easy it is to hold tight to your conviction when there is nothing atempting to rip it from you.

"Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No one serving as a soldier gets involved with civilian affairs--He wants to please his commanding officer."  - 2Timothy 2:3-4