Sometimes You Just Wanna Cry

Mood: Depressed, lonely & apparently I smell bad.
Listening to: My bf snore!

Sometimes, my life just sucks...like now! My bf actually told me I smell today. Which I thought was true but extremely rude. It hurt me terribly as I have been working & cleaning for the last couple of days which is why I smell. I am having a shower today. I wasn't feeling very good about myself to begin with & then he said that & made me feel worse. Men are complete morons sometimes. It doesn't help that our sexlife has been on the rocks for a couple of weeks now.

This really isn't fair of me. We had another talk last night about marriage. He knows that it means a lot to me but he is unwilling to take that step. I wish that I had fallen in love with a guy who wanted to marry me. Oh well, in every other way, he is great. I guess I can give up marriage & kids.

I need to sleep. Good Night

Mood: Depressed & Lonely
Listening to: My BF play video games. :((

There are times when all I want to do is lay in bed, covers up to my chin curl up into the smallest ball I can & cry like a baby.

Today was one of those days. So was yesterday. Of course my mom kept me busy both days. I think she senses that I'm becoming depressed again. I've been good for a couple of years now. I guess the pressure & stress of no money & no transportation is starting to get to me. Even if I had transportation I have no where really to go. It is hard & I am sad.

I talk to my friends & for the most part, bitch. They're sweet because they stay my friend & don't tell me to get over myself. Which I think is amazing. I just wish I had a best friend here, with me, right now. The people that live here with me are too close to me & the situation. I know that probably sounds weird but it's true none the less.

I really really miss my best friend from when I was seventeen. Her name was Tammy Lynn Auger. I loved her to death because she loved me. We were the bestest of friends. We lost touch after I left the area. My mom broke up with her boyfriend who we use to go to the trailer with (that's where Tammy & I met). I wish I could talk to her.

Good Night....