The Bone Collector
Today's Weight 202.0lbs
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If I've got to drag myself out of bed at half past four in the bloody morning to get to work for a 6am meeting, the least the scales could do is show me a nice low number not a 1.5lb gain!
Okay, so I didn't eat or drink anything at all until 8.30pm yesterday (yes, I KNOW that's bad for me, but I was BUSY!) so I can't possibly have gained real fat, and my poor mistreated kidneys are probably hanging on like grim death to what little liquid I gave them yesterday, so I've probably gained water weight, but that's not the point. I wanted a shiny happy stress free start to the day, 'cos I knew it was going to be a bitch from 6am onwards, and the bloody scales just had to go and throw a spanner in the works.
Anyway, I tried to learn from yesterday's fiasco, when by 4pm I was eyeing-up my colleague's discarded banana peel and tangerine hand-cream because I was so ravenous, and today I did my best Martha Stewart impression (but without the criminality) and made myself a wholesome egg sandwich on granary bread and took a bag of apples and oranges to work with me...but of course I was rushing round like a whirling dervish and didn't have time to eat anything, and now I'm home I'm past the hunger stage, and can't even face a slice of toast.
And I'm supposed to be exercising in ten minutes! Three hundred calorie days might be perfect for the Calista Flockharts of this world, but I've got to start getting my eating act together during these manic working days, or my health is seriously going to suffer and my weight loss will stall as well.
I couldn't sleep last night cos I couldn't switch off from work, so I passed the wee hours in my favourite pastime - feeling for bones. I like to do this noctural bodily reckoning, and it's much more entertaining that counting sheep (get your minds out of the gutter, people! Heh). I reckon if I were blindfolded and had to pick out my own body by mere touch from a mound of other bodies, I'd be able to recognise mine pretty niftily. (Yeah, I KNOW my nerve endings would give me a hint, but work with me here for a second, OK?)
Anyway, I took stock last night, and I'm pretty damn sure my hip bones are emerging from the primordial swamp at long last, so something good seems to be happening. On the other hand, I couldn't swear to finding any ribs, though I was feeling for upwards of half an hour, so maybe it's just wishful thinking. When I start feeling ribs I'll know I'm really making headway.
I reckon I've lost quite a bit of fat from my stomach, but I've still got enough blubber there to give an elephant seal a run for his money...I grabbed a couple of handfuls worth, easily. But hell, at least it's solid fat nowadays, not wibbly wobbly jellified fat like in the bad old days. So that's got to be a good thing, right?
Oops is that the time? Where did the evening go? I've got exercise to do, so I'd better get my (baboon's) arse in gear!
