Deferred Pleasures
Today's Weight 181.5 lbs
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Yesterday K and I cycled the singletrack at Thetford forest for a couple of hours, and came home covered head to toe in mud, having had a fabulous time.
In the shower afterwards, I washed my hair with my Jo Malone Amber and Lavender shampoo and conditioner, then scrubbed myself in the Amber and Lavender shower gel.
I dried off and then slathered myself in Amber and Lavender body creme, before spritzing with a generous splash of Vintage Gardenia cologne.
I smelled good enough to eat, afterwards, and felt sexy and gorgeous.
The reason I'm telling you all this is to illustrate that even though I was only putting on sweats and curling up on the sofa for the rest of the day with a good book (Seven Types of Ambiguity, by Elliot Perlman), I used all my poshest and most expensive toiletries, rather than just any old cheap rubbish.
I never used to do this.
The first time K bought me a bottle of Jo Malone cologne, I "saved it for best" and used my much cheaper scent on a daily basis instead. Every day I would look longingly at the Jo Malone, but it never seemed a special enough occasion to justify wearing it. When I eventually had a special enough occasion, the scent had soured in the heat and humidity of the bathroom, and I'd missed my opportunity (and wasted K's £60 into the bargain).
I never made that mistake again. Now, if I have lovely things, I start using them immediately, rather than "saving them for best." I get pleasure from them straight away, and only use my second-best stuff when the lovely things are worn out or used up.
I figured that life is too short to defer my pleasures, especially when they're just sitting there under my nose waiting to be enjoyed.
It's the same with food.
Until a year or so ago, if I ate a meal I would always save the best bit until last. I'd force down the less tempting fare, and only allow myself to eat the most delicious parts when the grottier bits were gone.
Maybe this was the legacy of being told over and over again as a child that I couldn't have dessert until I'd eaten all my veggies, or maybe it was just my weird way of approaching food, but whatever the reason, this was the way I ate every meal.
One day it struck me that this was a really crazy way to live and eat. What the hell was I playing at?
For one thing, I was eating my favourite part of the meal when I was at my fullest and least able to appreciate it, rather than when my palate was fresher and my stomach less full.
Secondly, I was always eating eating more than I really wanted to - past my "feeling full" limit - because, hell, I still had the best part to eat and I couldn't leave that bit, could I?
So I'd force "the best bit" down - not really enjoying it by this stage - rather than just declining it because I didn't really want or need it.
I think it was one of the reasons I got so overweight in the first place. Even if I was full, I was loath to leave something on my plate, because it was the nicest part!
Now, my attitude has changed completely. I eat what's on my plate without artificially saving something until the end - if anything, I eat the things I like towards the beginning, so that I don't feel deprived if I leave something uneaten. I think it's helped me to control my portion sizes, and I've realised that my natural appetite is actually quite modest, and that I get full quite quickly.
I was forcing myself into bigger portion sizes than I wanted, because I didn't want to forego a deferred pleasure.
I don't know if I'm the only person who had this "deferred pleasure" mentality, but personally I think I've been a lot happier in general, and had a healthier attitude to food in particular since I stopped thinking that way.
Life has so few pleasures that it's silly to defer them for a second longer than I need to. So what if I'm nearly out of Jo Malone...Christmas is just around the corner, and I've been a really good girl all year - cross my heart!
