The Fatslayer Chronicles

Apr 13, 2006 at 20:06 o\clock

Bitch Update, and a sad story about a woman and a sofa

Today's Weight 169.5lbs

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Wow, it’s hectic at work at the moment – working 14 hr days with little spare time to write blog entries. Thanks to everyone who commented on my last entry though – it’s reassuring to know that I’m not imagining things or being a paranoid idiot. And I really, really appreciate the kind comments and support!

 

Fortified by that encouragement, I tackled my colleague about her comments on Monday, and as I expected, she said I was being oversensitive and over-reacting. I was calm and collected, and said that even if it wasn’t her intention to be rude, I found her remarks offensive, and that she should learn to moderate her language and think before she spoke.

 

Luckily she played into my hands by being immediately hostile – she said I was up myself’’, and that by being so fat’’ I’d made myself fair game’’ for comments and speculation.

 

I said that these comments were just the sort of remarks that were offensive, and that they were in contravention of the Trust’s Code of Accepted Behaviour, as well as its equality and diversity policy.

 

[By the way, I know this makes me sound like a pompous prig, but what the hell WAS I supposed to say? This is the first staff problem I've ever had to deal with - all my other staff are lovely - and I'm a novice at this telling off business. I'm sure I handled it terribly...]

 

I asked her why she thought that denigrating overweight people was acceptable, when denigrating people on the grounds of race, sexual orientation etc wasn’t…and she replied that in her opinion there was nothing wrong with a little “good natured banter’’ about race or sexuality either, and that people like that’’ should learn to toughen up, and stop getting their knickers in a twist over something so unimportant.

 

“I believe in calling a spade a spade” she said, “and if people don’t like it, that’s their problem. I’m not doing anything wrong. You get treated like a criminal if you’re white, slim and straight these days…”

 

At this point I began to realise that in my desire to be fair and reasonable I'd given her the impression she could get away with murder. Time to toughen up a bit!

 

Obviously, she’s going to be a tough nut to crack, and this is going to be just the first of many conversations. I said that I wouldn't hesitate to invoke the Trust’s formal disciplinary policy if she didn’t modify her behaviour after being told so clearly to do so, and she said that in that case she’d probably start looking around for a better job, as it was political correctness gone mad to discipline someone just for expressing an opinion.

 

She was being so rude that I almost expected her to launch into a Nazi salute and a display of goose stepping à la Basil Fawlty at this point, but she settled for muttering a stream of expletives (loudly) under her breath instead, at which point I lost my rag and gave her a formal verbal warning there and then, which will go on her permanent file.

 

With a bit of luck she’ll cop enough of a strop to quit, and it’ll be good bloody riddance…but if she doesn’t, and she doesn’t alter her behaviour either, at least I’ve got the ball rolling re getting rid of her. The wheels of the health service move slowly, but it’ll only take a couple more formal warnings before she gets the boot – and judging by her behaviour since our conversation, it’s a matter of WHEN not IF she earns herself another black mark.

 

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Anyway, enough of this.

 

Did anyone see the story in the Daily Mirror this morning about a 20 stone woman who died of neglect after her mother failed to call a doctor when she (the daughter) wouldn’t – and eventually couldn’t – move off the sofa for 4 months?

 

This is a link to the article, which may be exaggerated since the Mirror is a tabloid, but which presumably has nuggets of truth since it’s based on what came out at the inquest.

 

That is the saddest fucking thing I’ve heard about in a LONG LONG time. That poor, unhappy, depressed woman…her state of mind must have been awful...

 

To be treated with such apparent lack of love and regard by your nearest and dearest is just plain pitiable...I'll never complain about my parents again!

Comments for this entry:

  1. jaime wrote at Apr 13, 2006 at 20:31 o\clock:I think you handled that very well! If it were me, I would have lost it when she pulled out the “I believe in calling a spade a spade” line, and started screaming things about calling a bitch a bitch.
  2. lynettecw wrote at Apr 14, 2006 at 06:15 o\clock:You go girl! That was brave and sensible of you.
  3. Debra wrote at Apr 14, 2006 at 14:10 o\clock:Since she thinks a \"little good natured bantering\" should be directed at everyone\'s most vulnerable spots, I wonder what she would feel like if you pointed out hers? She does have them, right? I mean, being \"white, straight and slim\" is not a totally insult-proof condition, is it?
  4. NicoleW wrote at Apr 15, 2006 at 05:35 o\clock:Sounds to me like you handled this really well. So this woman was mouthing off like that to someone who\'s in a position to get her fired? Wow. On top of being a hateful little turd, she must be dumber than a sack of hammers. Oh well ... hope the door doesn\'t hit her too hard in her white, slim, and straight ass on her way out.
  5. wurfle1950 wrote at Apr 15, 2006 at 22:21 o\clock:Well done for tackling your colleague. I\'d have said nothing and harboured a grudge.



    I\'ve been enjoying your blog for a while, but didn\'t know how to comment. Not sure if I do yet, but I\'ll have a go.
  6. wurfle1950 wrote at Apr 15, 2006 at 22:33 o\clock:Well, that only sort of worked. It\'s wurfle1950 again, which is my blogspot password or something - I didn\'t expect it to come up as my actual name. I\'m Isabelle and I have a blog at in-this.blogspot.com



    Sorry - I\'m not very technological. Anyway - the sofa story - how terrible indeed.

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