My Life

Mood: CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY
Listening to: THAT 70'S SHOW

No big promises.  That's good because we're working on three days now.  So this weekend was fruitless.  Well not completley, I got a tatoo.  My first.  I finally got up the nerve to tell my mom.  Acutally I told my sister yesterday and she told my mom. But same difference.  I didn't want to have to do it and she did for me.  It's a little gecko on my ankle.  Not the inside like everyone else on the outside.  That was some hurtful shit right there.  It was like someone burning me with a lit cigarette over and over again.  Remind me not to do that again.    Well in my last entry I mentioned my older sister and her new boyfriend well apparenly there's been quite a stink.  Well I know about the stink I just haven't told you yet.  Audrey (the older sister) started dating Eric (the new boyfriend)  and this all happened right after, well right before, or during, or the cause of her divorce.   Did not set well with the parents.  Mostly becuase of the whole divorce thing but also because when she did introduce him he was pretty condecending to my mom.  Audrey's "STEPMONSTER" as she likes to call her.   Apparently he never gave us, besides my other sister Leigh and her husband Etienne, a chance.   Audrey likes Leigh.  Audrey has never really put much into getting to know me, other than to get enough ammo to make me feel about 6 inches tall.  I think it might be because I remind her so much of my mom, or that she thinks that Leigh was somehow mistreated like she was when truth be told none of us were mistreated, we were all treated the same.  Any how on with the story.  My parents made Eric very welcome in their home.  My dad even paid for them to stay in a hotel while they were there.  Audrey says "well I said thanks"  but I don't think she understands that ERIC DIDN'T.   I guess the whole 'please and thank you' rule wasn't used at Eric's house.     So skip on to Christmas.  No Audrey or the fat man.  Why not?, you might ask.  Because, brace yourself, this is a good one.  "Audrey's gift to herself for Christmas was not to have to drive to Dallas".  What a crock.  She even told my Dad that.  And he is NOT happy about that one.  So then skip to New Years.  No Audrey or the fat man.  Why not?, you might ask.  Because, yet again.  "Audrey'g gift to herself for New Years was not to have to drive to Dallas". Then comes the "Birthday's".  See Audrey's birthday is Jan 10th.  Daddy's is Jan 8th.  We always have something for the both of them on the weekend after the New Year.  Not only did they not come but Eric in his infinate wisdom threw her a party ON THE 8TH!  And then evited Leigh and I but not my Dad.  DID NOT INVITE MY FATHER TO MY SISTERS BIRTHDAY PARTY ON HIS BIRTH DAY.  That's right folks.  Not a good idea. 

So on with me.  This is my life dealing with other people, other people that are in MY FAMILY.  They are with me 24/7.  They call, they come over.  I go over there.  My Dad comes and eats lunch at my house EVERY DAY.  Give me a break.  I left work early today just to have some time to myself and guess what.  THEY CALLED!  AND CALLED!  I'm turning off the phones and going to bed.   I need some sleep.  I need a day away.  I think I need to cry.  But whatever this emotion is... I think I need to get over it. 

Mood: Stir Crazy
Listening to: Malcom in the MIddle

Well what to know about me.  I'm 23, single not too shabby in the looks department.  I have a small dog, a Boston Terrier to be exact.   She's really the best.  I couldn't love her more..  I have a "very involved" family.  Think Everybody Loves Raymond  times 10!  They come to my house.  They eat my food.  They tell me what to do with my life. I guess I can't really complain.  That means they love me right?  Well that's what I keep telling myself.  I just had it out with my older sister.  She's getting engaged to a guy that I just don't think is right for her.  He's really large, yes  I mean fat.  And he seems to have some alterior motive.  I don't know what it is but he just doesn't seem like the person he "seems" to be.  I'm sure she's out there searching for my blog right now.  She found my other sisters and twisted it around and made a big ol' fight about it.  I really could care less.  I don't have to deal with her if I don't want to.  Truth is she's never really put much time in wanting a realationship with me.  Never asked me to a fancy "Austin" party or to just come stay the weekend.  But that's fine.  I'm not all that concerned with it.  I have my own friends and my own life.  She's a liar anyway.  More about me.  I just broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years.  I know 6 years!  He moved out.  We've actually been nicer to each other since his move out than we were the last 6 months of our relationship.  Go figure.  I just think we needed some time apart.  I need to see if life as a "mechanic's" girlfriend is what I want.  Right now, I don't.  There are people I'd like to be "involved" with.  There's things I'd like to do.  And none of those things or people involve Gregg.  I wish they did, but they don't.  He doesn't want to go out and live the life that I want to.  Hell he doesn't even want to go farther than 20 minutes from his Mommy's house.   Wah!   He says it's all about money.  I say its all about happiness he thinks money makes me happy.  I think love makes me happy.  Well we all have our opinions here.  I'll live my life and he'll live his and we'll see how it all turnes out.   Any way more about me.  I just started renting a small house about 6 months ago.   It's really nice, 2 bed 1 bath.  That's all the room I need.  The yard is HUGE.  That's what everyone says.  I know how huge it is  I mowed the motherfucker.  HUGE indeed.  It's huge like when you get to the end you start running like a banshee with the mower because you just have a couple of strips left.  The next thing you know you're laying there- head pumping, you can actually feel the blood pumping through your viens.  What an ass whooping.  The last time I did it I just left the mower in the yard.  I brought it into the garage a couple of days later.  But the yard looked great!   

I want my life to be a little different.  I want to be assertive.  I want to be in control.  I have that NOW that Gregg's gone.  I'm glad.  It's been a month.  I need to get out.  I need to meet people.  Not boys, just people. 

I need contact with the world.  This house is driving me nuts.

More to come... Maybe tommorow.  I won't promise much.