FCUK!!!
Ok WHY do I insist on hurting myself??? I mean I know the more I read the more hurt I'll get...the more things I see that he's stolen from our relationship....the more mad I get at him...and yet I continue to hurt but not get mad....because I love him too much to stay angry....hence why the anger just simmers inside of me.....since when did I become such a doormat??????
FCUK!!!
honestly.... what the hell is wrong with me....he isnt coming back....hez happy with HER......FCUK!!!!....2 yrs...and we didnt even break up because feelings ended...we broke up coz of differences.....we loved eachother right until the end........so how has he forgotten all of that??? Today my eyes watered at the thought of him....which isnt exactly anything new....but...his cousins wedding......i wonder ....in the midst of all the love...romance.....promises for a future......who will he think abt?........me.....or her.....................
I feel like im in a movie....I cant believe im in this place where im the ex-gf who still loves her ex-bf....who has a new gf.......i dont like this movie =(
I want my boyfriend back......*MY* boyfriend....not hers....not anyone elses..... MY bf...
...but you know....deep down inside....i dont think he'll come back...he cant....it wouldnt work.....because of me........im too hurt by him.......ive lost too much respect for him......... i carry too much anger inside of me towards him.....
funny how even though i know all this.......i still love him...
