http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose Wanna be romance writer expends her creative energy writing about her three kids, her miscarriage, and the beautiful neighbors who breed demons. No, seriously. De-mons. This is life as I know it. en Cracklin_Rose Cracklin_Rose Wed, 28 Jun 2006 22:31:21 +0200 daily 1 It's not like I've forgotten you. I've just been lazy. Not much to talk about. There are a few articles here and there that manage to get my dander up enough to almost blog, but then I yawn and stretch and decide that a nap will make it all better. Usually it does. But today I do have some exciting news I think. Lately Bear's been getting into television and for the first time I think we have an inkling that the girl just might be straight. Yes, yes, I know, where is this coming from? Let's just say that until The Sweet Life of Zach and Codie [sic] I have been preparing myself to be the grandmother of either an adopted Asian child named Ophelia or Steven Still's seed if you get my meanin' and I think you do. It's not like homosexuality is a stretch given that J's sister and cousin and quite possibly, grandmother are all gay. It's not that I would disown her were she to be gay. It's not that I would reject her. She's my daughter and I love her. I simply see the struggle that my sil has, how she has... Wed, 28 Jun 2006 22:31:21 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Eeek.-Are-you-still-here/58/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Eeek.-Are-you-still-here/58/ Today marks the beginning of eternal summer with 2 pre-pre-teens. Not that I'm expecting the worst or anything, not with them. T-2 hours and it will start, the whining, the begging to have a friend over, the whatever new thing they dream up to torture me with. Pull a Dion Warrick for me will ya?   Fri, 02 Jun 2006 19:12:06 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/School-s-out-for-SUMMAH/57/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/School-s-out-for-SUMMAH/57/ It's been going on for at least a year this neighborhood card club, and last night I was invited to play with them. Okay, I was a sub, and a last minute one at that, but I snagged an invite. Being as I'm not a joiner, and being that I have a low tolerance for most women in my neighborhood, my absolute giddiness at the prospect of playing cards with them for 4 hours surprised me. Despite my boisterous voice (a term used to describe how you "sound" to your readers [or, in this blog's case, reader]) I really am a quiet, shy soul. I don't get funny until I know you. I don't comment much until I'm comfortable. I mostly sit and smile beatifically; so for the ladies last night it must've been like playing cards with a Botecelli.  I had a good time. It felt good to be out of my house, to be talking to adults - albeit however superficial the conversations, and to have 4 hours just for me. At night's end I was kind of bummed that I was merely a sub and not a regular at the neighborhood card... Thu, 25 May 2006 16:54:58 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Cards-with-the-ladies/56/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Cards-with-the-ladies/56/ You know how when you're just sitting at your kitchen table minding your own business enjoying the stunning 4 part harmony of Abba and trying to decide which of the lead girl singers is prettiest** and your world shifts on its axis? I thought you might. My daughter's ex-pediatrician, the one who gave her whiplash, and I have always had a different relationship. From our first pre-natal interview I was fairly intimidated by him in much the way I would be if he were a rock star from the 70's. Turns out, HE'S A ROCK STAR FROM THE 70's. I found this out while swinging my feet to the ever catchy, ever bouncy, surprisingly deep Super Trouper. The Sinister Dr. Doom was once a member of Abba. You can't tell me he wasn't because he is DEAD ON the skinny, tallerish guy.  Not the guy who plays piano and wears a beard, the other one.  I knew I'd seen him before! ** Hands down the blonde. She has a fun vibe.     Thu, 18 May 2006 18:41:18 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/2-in-one-day/55/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/2-in-one-day/55/ What I learned from War of the Worlds by Cracklin' Rose. If ever we're invaded by tripod arachnid type aliens with cute heads and sharp teeth I think that people should stay away from large crowds of other people. What better way to be mass destroyed than to be with the masses waiting for a ferry? It's like fish in a barrel.  Also I learned that it's best to stick to the back roads because angry mobs are going to want your mini van and you want to keep your mini van as long as possible because it's a long way to Boston. I also learned that it's important to keep cellusomething or other starter type car parts on hand just in case there is an electro-magnetic pulse. It doesn't have to be from aliens. It could be random. If you have one of these super duper things, then you will have the only car that runs and people will envy you. But, as stated previously, you and your mini and its cellusomething or other thingy should stick to lesser traveled country roads unless you want your son beat... Thu, 18 May 2006 18:24:44 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/What-I-learned-from-War-of-the-Worlds/54/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/What-I-learned-from-War-of-the-Worlds/54/ Oh sure, I beg, I plead, I offer you illicit cyber-sex (oooh the juicy hits I'll get now!!) if you'll just add an Adam Ant video. I dream of sharing his short man yumminess with the blogging world, and then one day... one day it happens. VideoCodeZone throws up an Adam and the Ants video. Stand and Deliver with all its awesome awesomeness. Dandy highway men!  And then? And then?! And then I realize the smug phuckers have put up a bum video. They're teasing me. Every day I go and I hope and I click on their report video not working link and... nuttin'.  So this is what I'll share with you for a day or so... a big blank space of what cuddabeen Adam. Damn you videocodezone! Damn you! Thu, 18 May 2006 02:15:41 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Videocodezone-you-ve-let-me-down/53/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Videocodezone-you-ve-let-me-down/53/ The poor girl has had a continuous ear infection going on 3 months. We've tried 4 different antibiotics and 3 doctors. Our last antibiotic was Suprax. Our newest doctor lifted his graying, bushy eyebrows in surprise and said, "Suprax is a great medicine, but it doesn't do squat for ear infections. In fact it can often lead to [some horrible sounding thing that I can't remember]." We're on antibiotic number 5 now, and finally, FINALLY have a referral to an ENT so we can get this child's ears fixed so that she can actually start talking. All this signing is wonderful and quite the party trick, but really, it's time for some more words. Oh, interesting tidbit new doctor threw out. The reason The Netherland's antibiotic consumption is way lower than ours is because their doctors make housecalls. Except he said, house visits, but I heard howzvizits and thought it was some Dutch holistic treatment. So then looked like a giant weenie because he repeated himself and I was all, "ooooh. HOUSE VISITS.... Tue, 09 May 2006 22:13:06 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Howzvizits/52/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Howzvizits/52/ Unless it's followed by, "And then I kicked his ass," or, "But I defended you emphatically," please don't tell me what negative things people in our family are saying about me or our children. Seriously, J. I don't want to know because I have insecurities THIS BIG and hearing these things second hand? Doesn't help. He's done this to me twice now. First time was when he raced home to tell me that brother-in-law and his sister think that Bear's fat and that it's my fault. Then today, when he more or less confirmed his grandmother hates me. Well, maybe hate's too big of a word, and maybe I should cut her some slack because he was rushing her to the hospital for some unexplained vaginal bleeding after a bladder biopsy of some kind, but hey, Grandma! I'm not the one who doesn't answer the phone if I don't feel like talking. That'd be dipshit brother-in-law's ex-wife. * ** edited to add that Grandma's fine. **also edited to add that J seems to derive sick pleasure at being placed above me on the... Mon, 08 May 2006 02:36:53 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Unless-it-s-followed-by/51/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Unless-it-s-followed-by/51/ I've been putting off writing this because I don't want it to appear that I have more bark than bite, because my bite is pretty big. BUT... I've been cleaning. Don't say it. I know. I've been keeping a clean house. And it's damn tiring. It's wearing me out. It's true that all I do is clean or think about what I need to clean, and it freakin' NEVER stops. It's getting easier and there are perks which will be discussed in the next paragraph or so, but d-yamn!  It's just further proof that my job never ends. Ever. Two things that have rarely happened in my house before J had his tantrum have happened. My daughter's teacher stopped by unannounced (another post. A happy post. A proud as hell post!) and I didn't flip out or make her stand on the porch and chat. She called through the screen and I said these three words, "Come. On. In."  I had no worries that she would talk to the other teachers about the sty Dee has to live in or worse, that she might call social services. ... Mon, 01 May 2006 18:26:26 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/So-I-have-a-confession/50/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/So-I-have-a-confession/50/ Oh man. Y'all. I'm sure someone will respond to  this blog's post better than I will, but c'mon. How can I NOT blog about this?? Could it be that AnnieAngel is my husband's lovah? Forget cleaning the toilets on a weekly basis. How am I supposed to compete with a woman who makes fresh juice for her husband every morning and doesn't bore him to death with trivial matters during breakfast?? And beats her children pre-emptively. But on a serious note, I'm an open and accepting kinda gal (all the best bathroom walls say so), and if this is how AnnieAngel chooses to live her life then who am I to judge? If living to serve her husband is what she's devoted her life to then it appears she's doing a bang up job. Except in the bedroom, where she never initiates sex. Because she isn't a whore. No really. Go to the site. Thu, 27 Apr 2006 22:40:09 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Only-WHORES-use-frozen/49/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Only-WHORES-use-frozen/49/ After some much needed soul searching at the Target and dinner out with the girls on J's credit card, I've decided to forgive and move on. (He was v generous btw.) This drama is complete. Move it along. Nothing to see here. I'm also enrolling at the local uni to recertify and possibly masters myself this coming fall. Not sure about the latter - depends on whether a higher degree would hinder or help my job search.  So, that frightening decision is made. I wonder if I'll actually go to classes this time around.   Wed, 12 Apr 2006 16:37:25 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Retail-Therapy/48/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Retail-Therapy/48/ Shelbug :) remarked that this seems out of character for J, and she's right. Now that I've had a day to cool down and talk trash about the man I love, I'm free to explore why I reacted so strongly to his jackassedness. It is out of character for him, which I guess is part of the reason that I'm reacting so negatively.  I love my husband. I adore him, so I think that's why his sudden about face has hit me so hard. I hate disappointing him. I also hate being told what to do. Puts us in an awkward position now doesn't it.  But, if he has a problem with me, it's good that he tells me, right? Rather than letting it fester to the point of divorce. (His words. Not mine.) At least I know. Maybe it's his job. He's recently switched to a position that gives him a lot more responsibility, so much so that he doesn't have enough time in the day to finish his to do list (which is why I don't make to do lists. I hate setting myself up for disappointment.). That's stressful for a guy like... Tue, 11 Apr 2006 17:57:40 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/In-response/47/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/In-response/47/ You know, I've started this entry 4 different times trying to make it funny, but I can't. J had a little heart to heart with me yesterday wherein he expressed his feelings of frustration with my lack of organizational and Merry Maid skillz. He just doesn't see what it is I do all day given the state of our home and the height of Mt. Clean but Unputaway Apparel. He works his ass off all day to come home to me still in pajamas and sitting on the couch typing on the computer, where he suspects I haven't moved from from that morning.  Kinda like I am now. To be fair to me, because this is my blog (BTIMB), that's not entirely true. They're not pajamas, they're lounge wear, and of course I've moved, jackass. Rosie's not gonna make her own mac'n cheese. Yet. He accused me of leaving everything until the weekend for him to do. Which again, BTIMB, that's not entirely true either. I do things during the week. I do laundry, I run the electro-lux, I unload the dishwasher, I run the errands... I... Mon, 10 Apr 2006 14:40:00 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/In-which-I-feel-cornered-and-trapped/46/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/In-which-I-feel-cornered-and-trapped/46/ and the idiot next to you keeps coughing and spreading the bird flu? That'd be my husband. No, he doesn't have the dred bird flu (or so we think!), but he does have a fever and a cough and a general feeling of malaise. (Check me out with the french.  Woot! Woot!) I told him that no one wants a sick person at a meeting but he believes that people do, and therefore will be spreading the plague via Com-Air. Just a little heads up. Other things.... My daughter's cat got the snot kicked out of her a week ago. As a result she has 2 pretty seriously gross and serious sets of puncture wounds on her tail. Green, pussy, ga-ross! puncture wounds that smell bad and need to be squzen (squoze!) twice daily. DAAAHHHH! She's on antiobotics and stuff, so don't you worry and call the ASPCA or MENSA or ACLU or anything. The ickiest part is that now that she's feeling better and no longer wants to hide, she wants to cuddle on my lap. Thereby leaving GREEN PUSS on me. *shudder* She's a pussy pussy? Yep. I... Thu, 06 Apr 2006 02:21:50 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/you-the-plane-Austin-tomorrow-morning/45/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/you-the-plane-Austin-tomorrow-morning/45/ Do you ever wonder if your mate would be distraught if you for whatever reason left them? It's not something I do, because to be honest, why would I leave him? He gives me stuff. Still, on occasion, like when I see this Nelly/Tim McGraw video wonder just how J would react. Would he be lost? Would he shrug and move onto blonder, thinner pastures? Or, most importantly, would he try to win me back with song? 'Cause, c'mon, a man who writes a song for you? Sex-ay. A man who writes a song for you in an attempt to win you back? Really fuckin' nice. I guess. Depending on the reason you left. "I'm sorry I put my dick in that other woman, " is not as romantic as, say, "I'm sorry I ignored your needs."  J wrote a song for me once. In his head, and he sang it to me in bed. It wasn't because he needed my forgiveness, but because he's cute like that. Tragically I don't remember what it was about exactly, but he said my name several times and that made me happy.   Tue, 04 Apr 2006 23:31:53 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Do-you-ever-wonder/44/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Do-you-ever-wonder/44/ So after days of soul searching J, Bear, and I have come to a decision. We are ending the foray into the world of soccer. J and I discussed it, recalling our days spent on the field and it was revealed that we both HATED soccer and can't think of one time we said, "I'm really glad my parents forced me to play." What we do remember (rather painfully) are the bruised shins, the groans that rose when when we missed a pass or got the ball stolen from us. Also, Shannon Poty's dad yelling, "SHANNON!! GET. THE. G'DAMN BALL! SHANNON!!" So yeah, we learned not a whole lot from our YEARS of forced soccer play. The first opportunity our parents gave us to quit, we did so jubilantly, with much relief, and never looked back.  After that I stuck with softball, piano, drama and writing clubs until college and after. J became a swimmer, a scout, joined the school band , and started tinkering with computers. (NERD!! OHMYGAWD WHAT A NERD!) All things he still persues. Quitting soccer did not set a precedent.... Tue, 28 Mar 2006 15:57:55 +0200 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/WWD-What-We-Did/43/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/WWD-What-We-Did/43/ So in an effort to help my daughter maintain a healthy weight we signed her up for soccer. She was gung ho. It was actually her suggestion. Four practices down and she hates it. In fact she spent the last practice sitting on the sidelines crying. Charlie pulled me aside and suggested that I might still be able to get my money back if we pulled her out before the first game. Said that she just didn't want to be there. Said maybe it was because it's her first year and she's not as skilled as the other girls, or maybe it was because she doesn't have any friends on the team yet, but whatever the reason she's unhappy. I will have to admit that my first reaction was disappointment in the Bear. I wanted to get all Sgt. Carter on her and tell her to suck it up. No one's good when they first start out. It takes dedication, practice, a stubborness. NO ONE LIKES A QUITTER!!! Then I slid into annoyance with her coach. How dare he suggest that he doesn't want my kid on his team. He's the coach, figure out how... Fri, 24 Mar 2006 14:43:09 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Once-a-quitter/42/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/Once-a-quitter/42/ I offer you exhibit A:    Me after giving birth. That btw is a placenta and umbilical cord. Baby in the trash? (Right to Lifers can email me at Cacklin-Rose@justajoke.net ) This (Exhibit B):  is my neighbor exactly 3 minutes after giving birth to her 4th spawn. Doesn't she look haggard? Thu, 23 Mar 2006 19:13:14 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/A-visual.-A-tasteless-tasteless-visual./41/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/A-visual.-A-tasteless-tasteless-visual./41/ I'm not finished. I haven't stopped thinking about what I "owe" my husband, and conversely, what he "owes" me. To be fair, J makes a good living and he's v responsible with our finances. To be fair, I am irresponsible with money. I don't understand it. I don't like it. I like what it gets me, but I don't like it. Left to my own devices I would be the loser on Dr. Phil wondering how I got $334,000,547. 86 in debt in just under a year. For that reason we have divided accounts. I am "paid" a monthly stipend to stay at home. And in return for that "payment" I do feel that I owe J certain things. He works hard to provide for us. I feel that the house he comes home to each night should be inviting. Welcoming. It should say, "Come. Rest your weary self on the cat fur free sofa. Eat your warm, home-cooked meal including dessert. Watch as your clean children frolic and/or diligently finish up that school project without complaint. Behold as your smiling wife, in her cute outfit and freshly... Wed, 22 Mar 2006 18:34:00 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/A-few-more-things/40/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/A-few-more-things/40/ First, why do I have a banner for vaginal odor on my blog? I dunno. Maybe someone knows something I don't? Seriously. Dudes. Can we change the banner to something less personal? I dunno... maybe hairy toes or chronic halitosis. But vaginal odor? C'mon. Second, I had this really great post about how J and I met and the events that led to us getting married, but as I reread it, I realized that either I'm a really bad story teller, or our love story is kinda dull. Suffice it to say, we started dating when we were 16, broke up five months or so later, lost contact until our junior year in college when my fiance decided it was okay to have a "friend" outside our "committed relationship" (fuckbuddy), and I in turn decided that what was good for the gander was good for the goose and called J. Turned out that his girlfriend had also had the same epiphany as my fiance only months earlier and J had been a listless heap of a man since he'd found out that not only had she been cheating on him, she'd gotten... Tue, 21 Mar 2006 18:23:16 +0100 http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/A-few-things/39/ http://www.blogigo.co.uk/Cracklin_Rose/A-few-things/39/