Hey guys... guys? Wait for meeee!!
I'll admit, I don't forgive and forget. I tend to hold onto things well past the acceptable pouting time. Like, this one time, in high school, when the AP English teacher declined to let me in his class because I wasn't "AP caliber." Well, suck it! Mr. Geier. See, it was over 17 years ago and I still get angry when I think about it, and one day I'll write a post about how bogus his "test" was and how he was never going to let me in anyway but had me take his stupid "test" during morning homeroom so I only had 15 minutes in which to compose greatness that had to include references to Shakespeare, tons of impressive vocabulary words, and something about the Pope. But today's not that day.
So yeah, I hold onto things. But ANYWAY, a few years back a group of neighborhood moms that I hung out with decided that we'd all go see a movie together. I'm not sure what our options were, but I do remember that 40 Days and 40 Nights was in the theaters. Now for those of you who don't remember, 40 Days was about how Josh Harnett wouldn't have sex or think dirty thoughts for 40 days and nights (lenten abstinence) and how naturally he meets and falls hornily, desperately, passionately in love with Shannon Sauceman. Sha' non Sosseman. Shannen Sulceman?? whoever, during this time. There are bets as to how long he'd last and a disturbing scene where his roomie checks his bed with a blacklight looking for semen stains.
ANYWAY, so that movie was out and I knew the premise and I knew my neighbor ladies and I knew the two wouldn't mix well. Minus my very good friend S. So I said, when they -my neighbor ladies, NOT me - suggested we see 40 Days, "Well, I'm fine with it, but it's probably got a lot of sex in it since it's about a Gen X'er who gives up SEX for Lent. We could also see... whatever other comedy was out at the same time." But no, neighbor lady didn't want to see the suggested comedy because she didn't feel like it, and more or less insisted we see 40 Days. So we did, and as I'd warned them, it was about SEX. Plus there was an "erotic" scene with an orchid and Shannon S's nipple. Neighborladies minus my very good friend S, shifted uncomfortably and shielded their eyes. So there's sex and they didn't like it and we went home.
The next day neighborlady 2 sends an email to those of us who went to the movies the night before telling us that she was really uncomfortable with the movie I had chosen for us to see (Yes. ME. The movie I chose) and suggested that in the future we sort of pre-screen the films and read reviews so that we all know what we're in for when we next go to the movies because some people's taste in movies (read MINE?) might not coincide with other more Christian tastes. I KNOW. So yeah, I have neither forgotten or forgiven. Nor will I go to the movies with them again, or out for drinks, or lunch. One because after that night they pretty much stopped including me (except for S!! Love ya, S!!) and, two because I don't want to be blamed when they come home drunk or stuffed from just "one more bite of cake" just because I might have said that the Pina Colada while containing alcohol might be good or that I heard the chocolate cake was yummy.
Not that they'd ask me to join them. I'm on the outs, people, and while I'm not a true social person, it hurts my feelings that they don't think to include me. Or maybe it hurts my feelings that they do think to include me, but then decide, nah, she made us watch porn that one time.
Oh well, at least they've stopped asking me to join their moms prayer group.
