...:::Carl Himself:::...

Mood: inbetween (two beautiful women i wish)
Listening to: confessions by slipknot (oldschool)

So latly i have just been feeling weird, i'm feeling really great and depressed at the same time, i've been ignoring the real way i've been feeling, and i suppose i'm am finally getting rid of anne marie, i spoke to her the other day and for the first time in ages i didnt have butterflies in my stomach when i did which was a brand new thing to me because even in the early days i felt something whenever i even caught her eyes but not anymore and i think i feel the way i do because its a big deal for someone that used to mean so much to me to now mean so little and what makes me feel better about is that i know its a good thing.
I have a few essays and shit to write by tomorow night so i might actually do some work tonight but i really can't be bothered i'd much rather stand about with head phones plugged in to my amp while playing some guitar.
My own little world exists whenever i have music on i dont have to think about people and i can just watch them, they all mess their own lives up but who am i to speak i mess my won upoften enough, the thing is though every one else hates things beeeing a mess but i enjoy it. i'm relaxed because i know once things get really bad they can only get a little worse then they will get better, ah simple
BUT on the other hand i'm in love with music so i'm never alone aslong as i have that, i learnt o play a dagger through the heart of St. angeles the other day (dont know if i have said before)  but that made me realise how good i have got on guitar  and i suppose if i ever become homeless i can get an acoustic guitar and play that and earn money from it woo, a gift/skill for life.
i have to get some work done now uodate later if i can be bothered and if i have any thing to say.