...:::Carl Himself:::...

Anyway, hello i've not updated for a while as i have been busy downloading stuff but i'll be back to normall, as in update more or less everyday when i get broadband in a week or two, went to joes on saturday night and got sufficiently drunk to an awesome soundtrack, anyway nothing special to report so i'll leave it at that before i bore all my fans (pfffft fans, yeah right)

Mood: apprehensive
Listening to: tumult - stone sour

Well finished my first week back at college rather successfully i'd say and i know you may be thinkg but its a thursday well i'm not going in tomorow as i was meant to be doing a presentation in sociology, but i have done all the work and i'm not letting the other ppl get away with out doing anything, so i've emailled them the basic shit and i'm gonna let them get on with it, just  'cause some of us do work doesn't mean that we should be taken advantage of
Found out more about battle of the bands today (the immense joy)
firstly there are going to be three days, and on each of these days two bands play and there is a vote to see who goes through, and at the end of these three days the highest voted two bands play one more song and then there is a final vote to see who wins, BUT votes are ten pence each and are unlimited  SO  i'm feeling like just paying for ten quids worth of votes for us and hopefully the rest of the band will and we will win AHAHA but i know no matter what we do we wont win (legitiamtly) for many reasons, we are the heaviest band in college, and even if we wernt i'd be really nervous and fuck up but anyway it should be a laugh.                 

Mood: great
Listening to: be quiet and drive (mtv acoustic)- deftones incubus and adam sandler

over the last two nights i've had some of the shitest dreams ever. seriously. monday nights i dreamt that i went round to anne marie's house and i boned her then feel asleep and woke up at 3:13 and her dad cam into the room saying "don't you ever break her heart again" and this would have been acceptable if he wasn't floating and it felt so weird i wondered why my mum hadn't phoned me to see where i was.
And then last night i was dreaming about playing hold my finger by sikTh and trying to explain the tab to joe and then i was talking to dan weller on the internet but only he had changed his email address ro some crazy sign.
Been talking to joe about starting up a free metal band with inspiration from free jazz and he seems totally up for it, just something different. the band at the pub last night were amazing, they were just funk, almost better than porn music was awsome

and i'd just like to say thanks to G for reading and being sucha cool friend latly even if he is out of time sometimes

Mood: inbetween (two beautiful women i wish)
Listening to: confessions by slipknot (oldschool)

So latly i have just been feeling weird, i'm feeling really great and depressed at the same time, i've been ignoring the real way i've been feeling, and i suppose i'm am finally getting rid of anne marie, i spoke to her the other day and for the first time in ages i didnt have butterflies in my stomach when i did which was a brand new thing to me because even in the early days i felt something whenever i even caught her eyes but not anymore and i think i feel the way i do because its a big deal for someone that used to mean so much to me to now mean so little and what makes me feel better about is that i know its a good thing.
I have a few essays and shit to write by tomorow night so i might actually do some work tonight but i really can't be bothered i'd much rather stand about with head phones plugged in to my amp while playing some guitar.
My own little world exists whenever i have music on i dont have to think about people and i can just watch them, they all mess their own lives up but who am i to speak i mess my won upoften enough, the thing is though every one else hates things beeeing a mess but i enjoy it. i'm relaxed because i know once things get really bad they can only get a little worse then they will get better, ah simple
BUT on the other hand i'm in love with music so i'm never alone aslong as i have that, i learnt o play a dagger through the heart of St. angeles the other day (dont know if i have said before)  but that made me realise how good i have got on guitar  and i suppose if i ever become homeless i can get an acoustic guitar and play that and earn money from it woo, a gift/skill for life.
i have to get some work done now uodate later if i can be bothered and if i have any thing to say.

Mood: great
Listening to: suffice - sikTh

i decided to go and see hot water music with G and he stayed at my gran's with me, and i finally got hold of "how may i help you?" single by sikTh which is absolutly amazing as it's the old school edition and has the old edition of suffice on it and the (if you wernt so) perfect video, oh my god i seriously love that band, and then i got some new trainers, just DVS anyway i'll be off now, doing lots of homework this weekend and dying my hair again as it looks like i've got blonde roots, take care

Mood: tired
Listening to: the kennedy curse - alexisonfire

i think its time to say that my holidays are nearly over and practically are, 'cause after today all i'll be doing is stupid homework
today i'm waiting for G to fone so we can go to leeds, he is going to see hot water music tonite but i'm just going to stay at my grandmas, so that means there wont be any updates till friday nite most likly.....

Mood: Proud
Listening to: tv in the background again

just got back from band practise and at long last we have got what we would call a track one, this basically means we have a reeally good opening track, aparently we have actually been entered into the battle of the bands and we are only playing two or three songs, and we spent a bit of time today talkin about it. So the first song we are going to play is stuck in my throat by reuben and then second could be our track one, and third might be nothing is the same but i'm not really feeling that but its not really up to me either way its all good.
Last night was nothing special - i just got drunk and didn't pull anyway thats all for now as i have shit loads of homework that i should be doing tonite.

Mood: uhuh
Listening to: sometimes it's our mistakes - norma jean

well half term but its a week off college which is good, reason i havn't updated for a while is there has been so little to comment on, other than four things

- i'm ill
- Band has a new song
- Tuesday nite was dead
- and i'm really really ill

but still i've had lots of time to think about things and the main things ahve been that i need to get a girl (as always) and that it's been a year since me and anne marie started going out and that means it's been half a year since we split up and thats a long time to go with out gettin with someone else, and i've had the chances but i sacrificed them for her and one of them was a threesome NO!!
Got the norma jean cd i have wanted for ages and i found out their new one is out on the 1st of march and they are touring - looks like i'll be going to manchester soon then
For comic releif there is goin to a be a battle of the bands at college and it looks like we are going to be playing it as i only know if three bands in my year and us being one of them we should easily win as we dont play just covers, and i dont know of any in the year above but they are probly just another emo band and i probly will be nervous and we probly wont win but it'll all be fine as i can have people sayin that guy has the most metal guitar in college and i mean on it's apperance anyway should make a move should be goin to see death from above 1979 tonite so i'm lookin forward to that, even tho i'm listening to Norma Jean rather than them

see ya and to all that read take care