...:::Carl Himself:::...

Feb 21, 2005 at 16:35 o\clock


Anyway, hello i've not updated for a while as i have been busy downloading stuff but i'll be back to normall, as in update more or less everyday when i get broadband in a week or two, went to joes on saturday night and got sufficiently drunk to an awesome soundtrack, anyway nothing special to report so i'll leave it at that before i bore all my fans (pfffft fans, yeah right)

Feb 17, 2005 at 18:13 o\clock

Battle of the bands

Mood: apprehensive
Listening to: tumult - stone sour

Well finished my first week back at college rather successfully i'd say and i know you may be thinkg but its a thursday well i'm not going in tomorow as i was meant to be doing a presentation in sociology, but i have done all the work and i'm not letting the other ppl get away with out doing anything, so i've emailled them the basic shit and i'm gonna let them get on with it, just  'cause some of us do work doesn't mean that we should be taken advantage of
Found out more about battle of the bands today (the immense joy)
firstly there are going to be three days, and on each of these days two bands play and there is a vote to see who goes through, and at the end of these three days the highest voted two bands play one more song and then there is a final vote to see who wins, BUT votes are ten pence each and are unlimited  SO  i'm feeling like just paying for ten quids worth of votes for us and hopefully the rest of the band will and we will win AHAHA but i know no matter what we do we wont win (legitiamtly) for many reasons, we are the heaviest band in college, and even if we wernt i'd be really nervous and fuck up but anyway it should be a laugh.                 

Feb 16, 2005 at 08:47 o\clock

dreams are either weird or just shit

Mood: great
Listening to: be quiet and drive (mtv acoustic)- deftones incubus and adam sandler

over the last two nights i've had some of the shitest dreams ever. seriously. monday nights i dreamt that i went round to anne marie's house and i boned her then feel asleep and woke up at 3:13 and her dad cam into the room saying "don't you ever break her heart again" and this would have been acceptable if he wasn't floating and it felt so weird i wondered why my mum hadn't phoned me to see where i was.
And then last night i was dreaming about playing hold my finger by sikTh and trying to explain the tab to joe and then i was talking to dan weller on the internet but only he had changed his email address ro some crazy sign.
Been talking to joe about starting up a free metal band with inspiration from free jazz and he seems totally up for it, just something different. the band at the pub last night were amazing, they were just funk, almost better than porn music was awsome

and i'd just like to say thanks to G for reading and being sucha cool friend latly even if he is out of time sometimes

Feb 12, 2005 at 20:07 o\clock

Inbetween the sky and the floor

Mood: inbetween (two beautiful women i wish)
Listening to: confessions by slipknot (oldschool)

So latly i have just been feeling weird, i'm feeling really great and depressed at the same time, i've been ignoring the real way i've been feeling, and i suppose i'm am finally getting rid of anne marie, i spoke to her the other day and for the first time in ages i didnt have butterflies in my stomach when i did which was a brand new thing to me because even in the early days i felt something whenever i even caught her eyes but not anymore and i think i feel the way i do because its a big deal for someone that used to mean so much to me to now mean so little and what makes me feel better about is that i know its a good thing.
I have a few essays and shit to write by tomorow night so i might actually do some work tonight but i really can't be bothered i'd much rather stand about with head phones plugged in to my amp while playing some guitar.
My own little world exists whenever i have music on i dont have to think about people and i can just watch them, they all mess their own lives up but who am i to speak i mess my won upoften enough, the thing is though every one else hates things beeeing a mess but i enjoy it. i'm relaxed because i know once things get really bad they can only get a little worse then they will get better, ah simple
BUT on the other hand i'm in love with music so i'm never alone aslong as i have that, i learnt o play a dagger through the heart of St. angeles the other day (dont know if i have said before)  but that made me realise how good i have got on guitar  and i suppose if i ever become homeless i can get an acoustic guitar and play that and earn money from it woo, a gift/skill for life.
i have to get some work done now uodate later if i can be bothered and if i have any thing to say.

Feb 11, 2005 at 23:06 o\clock

so hot water music

Mood: great
Listening to: suffice - sikTh

i decided to go and see hot water music with G and he stayed at my gran's with me, and i finally got hold of "how may i help you?" single by sikTh which is absolutly amazing as it's the old school edition and has the old edition of suffice on it and the (if you wernt so) perfect video, oh my god i seriously love that band, and then i got some new trainers, just DVS anyway i'll be off now, doing lots of homework this weekend and dying my hair again as it looks like i've got blonde roots, take care

Feb 10, 2005 at 10:56 o\clock

nearly over

Mood: tired
Listening to: the kennedy curse - alexisonfire

i think its time to say that my holidays are nearly over and practically are, 'cause after today all i'll be doing is stupid homework
today i'm waiting for G to fone so we can go to leeds, he is going to see hot water music tonite but i'm just going to stay at my grandmas, so that means there wont be any updates till friday nite most likly.....

Feb 9, 2005 at 17:48 o\clock

.....and thats a track one

Mood: Proud
Listening to: tv in the background again

just got back from band practise and at long last we have got what we would call a track one, this basically means we have a reeally good opening track, aparently we have actually been entered into the battle of the bands and we are only playing two or three songs, and we spent a bit of time today talkin about it. So the first song we are going to play is stuck in my throat by reuben and then second could be our track one, and third might be nothing is the same but i'm not really feeling that but its not really up to me either way its all good.
Last night was nothing special - i just got drunk and didn't pull anyway thats all for now as i have shit loads of homework that i should be doing tonite.

Feb 8, 2005 at 12:33 o\clock

Stupid windows

Mood: okay - weird
Listening to: tv in the background

well i havnt updated in uite a long motherfucking time and thats because my windows browser broke, they never seem to work anyway so now i'm using mozilla firefox now, which is pretty cool.
Any way not much has happened over the last few days i went to leeds yesterday and talked to my grandma about lending some money from my bank account and she said yes, also i bought some dickies jeans, isnt dickies an awesome brand just really durable stuff and looks pretty cool too, no wonder chino likes that stuff so much.
Well i'm off out tonite and it should be fairly good, cause it's the holidays and everybody should be out and i mite pull! doubt it tho. anyway it's early i'll update tomorow telling the details of tonight -

Feb 4, 2005 at 11:03 o\clock

So now i'm on holiday (like bringing a knife to a gun fight)

Mood: uhuh
Listening to: sometimes it's our mistakes - norma jean

well half term but its a week off college which is good, reason i havn't updated for a while is there has been so little to comment on, other than four things

- i'm ill
- Band has a new song
- Tuesday nite was dead
- and i'm really really ill

but still i've had lots of time to think about things and the main things ahve been that i need to get a girl (as always) and that it's been a year since me and anne marie started going out and that means it's been half a year since we split up and thats a long time to go with out gettin with someone else, and i've had the chances but i sacrificed them for her and one of them was a threesome NO!!
Got the norma jean cd i have wanted for ages and i found out their new one is out on the 1st of march and they are touring - looks like i'll be going to manchester soon then
For comic releif there is goin to a be a battle of the bands at college and it looks like we are going to be playing it as i only know if three bands in my year and us being one of them we should easily win as we dont play just covers, and i dont know of any in the year above but they are probly just another emo band and i probly will be nervous and we probly wont win but it'll all be fine as i can have people sayin that guy has the most metal guitar in college and i mean on it's apperance anyway should make a move should be goin to see death from above 1979 tonite so i'm lookin forward to that, even tho i'm listening to Norma Jean rather than them

see ya and to all that read take care    

Jan 30, 2005 at 17:01 o\clock

Emo girls and nice breasts

Mood: okay
Listening to: no one wins the war - =REUBEN=

Well i went to leeds yesterday bought some tee shirts yadda yadda got of the train at cas and loads of mates pulled up in this car and bundled out and asked me if i wanted to go to a gig that nite back in leeds so i did, dropped my stuff off at my gran's told her i would be staying the nite, i wore the amazing hoodie that we made, it had give me head wrote on the back and stuff, but in the Que for the gig these girls started to the lick the door and press their breasts up against it and THEN they jsut started gettin them out and lettin everyone have a look and take pictures, started to flash traffic and then the hottest one with the nicest tit was walkin round letting people suck on her nipple, and yes i did have a go.
Any way the gig starts and this band roses are red came on, the singer had a huge head, and one of the guitarists was jumping round like a prick and hit parry in the head with his guitar, me and him were stood rite in the middle of the crowd and the singer gets up on the little speakers and turns his back throws out his arms and expects us to grab him but no he just fell on us, that band sucked soooo much mch dick, the only good thing was the fact the bassist had a n evergreen terrace shirt on. Next up were silverstein, and they had a singer that looked like he couldnt control his body and he was doing the rapper thing with his hand and they were okay, then the hurt process came on and all they were actually quite amazing dispite problems with singers leaving and stuff they are doing a good job of progressing into a good band
underOATH, main headliners of the nite were quite good but i think i would have enjoyed it more if i'd heard their new record, i've heard some tracks with their old singer and they are really good but the new singer looks about 12, but the atmosphere was amazing.
Stagediving was taken to a whoel new level one guy got on stage and as soon as he got on he backflipped back into the crowd, one guy did a a double somersault of the stacks of speakers, and i saw one of the most amazing things ever, two people got on top of the stacks, jumped at the same time and high fived in the middle and then landed in the crowd - absolutly amazing enoguh said.........

Jan 28, 2005 at 21:01 o\clock

"Dirty fuckin gay"

Mood: angry now
Listening to: white noise (not the film just chanel 11 on tv)

i forgot to mention earlier, i was stood talkin to ste and cheh i do wear my jeans below my bum but this random guy came up behind me and tried to pull them down, he didn't manage to but this really pissed me off, i turned round and started shouting at him, it went like this...

Prick: we've had a conversation about your trou......
Prick: But we....

i and then he went back to his table and got all hsi friends and ran off, and now when i see him at college i'm gonna call him a dirty fucking gayhe is gonna regret trying to do that......

so this me at home chillin with a beer

Jan 28, 2005 at 19:55 o\clock


Mood: --bland--
Listening to: sweet nothings gone forever - evergreen terrace

Well because i only take three subjects at college i finish at 10:20 on fridays so i chilled and talked to deathwish and some girls for most of the day.
One really strange thing did happen tho, this girl came up to me and asked what colour my hair was, and that it looked really cool and would i like a polo, random or what and jack introduced us and she is pretty hot but i dont even know if i've pulled there or not.
Had alot of time to think, so i tried to think of something important but no, jsut about girls and singing to wozo and naked dave and stuff. Still didn't get my ema bonus so they'll be gettin an angry phonecall on monday, i want that money, off to leeds tomorow, probly jsut buy a ticket and a polo shirt, i want a black one that i can put my deftones patch on that G got me from america,
Rite i'm gonna see if i can learn anymore reuben songs, and think about a song to cover BUT did learn the end of heartache by KsE today because deathwish/willan/dickwish said i should. rite everyone take care

Jan 27, 2005 at 20:35 o\clock

not much just plenty

Mood: okay
Listening to: sing by dope (for you willan)

i love fuckin about andbecause everyone knows it's all i do i get away with saying whatever i want all the time. I get paid tomorow for a job i finished in december - how weird
i love my band, i can truely see it going somewhere not just fuckin about
i miss girls tho and purly just for sex i really need to pull, or find some hot girl hungry for cock, like some one that i can just have casual sex with that would rule,

was gonna put some pictures of me at my prom on here but i'm ugly on them and shit so mayB not
Got so many things to say but i cant really put them down now, too much thinking about girls and music is probly to blame so i'll go....

Jan 26, 2005 at 21:39 o\clock

Tuesday to now

Mood: great don't you know
Listening to: the beat of my heart and the voices in my head

well this is the first time i've been home properly since tuesday morning, i went to college then went to the pub, and this chick emma caught me looking down her top, was she bothered? no she actually decided to show me some more, didn't hook up tho and then on the way home i ended up pissing my name on a wall and walkin for half an hour in my boxer shorts and made it home fine and then went to college today after coming home for a quick shower and picking up my guitar, walked in to town to buy some strings, found out i havn't been playing with real gauge 11's but now i am and the strings are gold, went to band practise and things were completly out of hand crazy but amazing and sounded fuckin awesome now i'm home gonna alter some tabs get some stuff emailed to college for my homework and go to sleep after watchig that sic human anatomy program

Jan 25, 2005 at 09:42 o\clock

Money, yeah i miss that stuff and GUN FOOD

Mood: --
Listening to: all on black alkaline trio

Well as it currently stands i am poor and in debt to my mother. i was meant to get my ema bonus on friday but no, that did not happen, so i am a hundred pounds down. Last week my guitar teacher asked me if i wanted to buy a chorus pedal of him for twenty quid, assuming that i would have my bonus by then i thought yeah i can afford that so i told him i'd buy it off him today, all so i have to lend 35 quid of my mum for my system of a down ticket which i need today, she is giving me her bank card - crazy - also i want my death from above 1979 ticket for next friday but at this rate it doesn't look like i'm going to be able to afford it, and i ahve payments to amke on my new computer and basically i need to buy beer, so ste is loaning me ten pounds tonite - crazy - and i'm gonna owe him some money, but in the long run i'll be okay.
     And to make things worse i am almost depressed i swear, i miss my ex girlfriend a hell of a lot, (far too much for what she is and how she makes me feel feel these days, which is utterly worthless and like i wasted 7 months of my life, suppose i had nothing better too do anyway tho) but i can stand her either, and i want her even tho i can't and thats what makes it so much worse, and its not like i even miss her i just miss the feelin of being completly comfortable with someone that knows everything about you.
     I'm not alone alot these days but i feel it, i mean i can always talk to my mum because she is more of a friend to me than anything but she just has too much going on to care, my best friend Ste, i know he'd listen but i'd never force my shit on him and talk bollockss to him, Why? because even tho he is my best friend laughing is what we do best, laughing at people and other stuff. Like yesterday we went to Morrisons in the morning and bought five doughnuts each and he was talkin about how they are gun food as it's all the american police eat and how they shoot anybody, proof i suppose that doughnuts are gun food, "they even have a hole in them where they have been shot! it's true dude doughnuts = gun food"

Jan 24, 2005 at 08:29 o\clock

I'd like to think.......

Mood: -
Listening to: Root - deftones

that i've been busy and that's why i havn't updated in so long but really i've been doin nothing at all, been up at ste's house or a G's place and that is it, apart from the times when i've just sat at home playing guitar which seems to happen alot of the time. can't draw anymore, and not being bigheaded but i can draw, very well sometimes, and i used to use art as a realease of anger and other such tings but its just not a quick enough release anymore so guitar seems the way forward. I draw when i'm anxious but thats not very often and it's usually shit so the few things that my life consists of are

The Pub
Goin to a friends house
Sitting around being angry as fuck at either my self or anne marie
Gettin showers
and of course THE BAND

but seriously that is it and it might seem like a lot but it isn't, some things may happen only once a week and others might happen every day but only last ten minutes (like showers)

yeah i'm totally in love with my life no matter how boring it is, and thats only becuse i don't really have the balls to comit suicided even tho i contemplate it alot its not worth puttin on my list, but i suppose it would suck not to be alive and would be a great loss to everyone that knows me, who else would make them laugh? AND, who else would be in the band, who else would write some of the best music to ever come from a group of teenagers?

well i don't see any body else cappable of doing those things so it looks like i'll have to stick around for a while (unlucky anne marie, how easy it ould be for you if i was dead like you wish)

Jan 21, 2005 at 22:35 o\clock

Old school?..... yeah i love that shit (the band)

Mood: great don't you know
Listening to: engine number nine - deftones

Well the band has been through many phases, but is at it's best right now

First it was a 3 piece then i joined and then we split and re-formed without the previous guitarist. So from then on Naked Dave on drums as allways me on guitar and Ste on bass and vocals and we were a punk band Then we eventually decided thru the summer to have Garvey (a good Friend) on bass and ste on pure vocals, and we some weird funk metal band. Then after that we decided to get a new bassist due to practise usually being missed, on his part.
So we got a new bassist and he is great and i can't imagine us with out him now and we are takin things back to the old school, so rite now WE ARE called December, WE ARE fuckin OLD SCHOOL METAL AND WE DO PLAY IN DROP D FLAT (or drop Csharp, whatever turns you on) and it will fuck you up, cant wait to play a show with our new material.



Jan 21, 2005 at 16:31 o\clock

Teddy Bears............. BEWARE

Mood: Happy
Listening to: KoRn - blind

Today at college we some how got hold of a teddy bear, being the sick twisted people we are, we decided to take it to pieces, i managed to rip its head off, and then ste managed to get the arms and legs off of it, now all its body pieces are on a bottle with it's head on top. With the great idea of scarifice in mind we decided that we are goin to set it on fire but in my way home a ran in to parry and we set it on fire (just a little bit) well any way here is a picture of the unfortunate little bear.


                                   UNLUCKY ! ! ! !

Jan 20, 2005 at 09:03 o\clock

Band practise.....

Mood: Happy
Listening to: MX - deftones

Was so fucking amazing yesterday, we covered around the fur by the deftones and it only took an hour to master it which is good
Then with the help of bassist daves effect pedal we wrote a song
and decided to keep one of our old songs, so now we have three and considering we started over again yesterday that aint half bad. Any way college is callin....

Jan 18, 2005 at 08:39 o\clock

Well....... it's early.

Mood: Tired (really)
Listening to: random opeth stuff

Unless something funny happens at college today i wont update later on, because i'll be in a rush to go to the pub and get wasted
and then it will be band practise tomorow and on friday i should get  £100 for going to college for a whole term woo

anyway see y'all later on