I cry through my skin.

Mood: Restless, sad, borderline suicidal

 Take me for example. Jordan is online, right now, and more than anything in the world I want him to message me. Masochistic little thing I am. As I'm rolling a joint to be epically high all day long...All I can think about is him and I want him. I think I hurt my friend's feelings last night...I told him I wasn't looking for love...And he signed off without saying anything and then later messaged me saying that I mean a lot to him. Gah. I just don't want to put my heart out there again...Not when it's still taken...Not when it still hurts and I'm still crying over it. Seven months...That's a long time to love somebody. And to say it's all over in an instant...When there hadn't been a lot of problems or anything...That's just...Cruel. I don't want what's best for me...I want my old boyfriend back, I want a lot of really heavy drugs, and I want everyone in the world to know that I'm not fucking okay.