Unbelieveable.
I just don't even know what's going on. Ken and I are back together, I don't know if I told you that already. I'm really really happy about that...Although defenintly a bit skiddish about it. Audrey just keeps making me so paranoid...She keeps telling me how we'll probably last two years and that he is definently not a good match for me and how she was proud I broke up with him but she wasn't proud that I got back with him. If he and I are going to break up...It can't be in two years...I'll be turning 18...Absolutely everything will be turned inside out and upside down and I don't want to have to deal with mending a broken heart in the process. If he and I are going to break up...He should do it when I'm 17 then I'll be sad my Senior year...But I'll be slightly better once I'm an adult. I swear, sometimes that girl makes me want to just slit my wrists and die because it seems so hopeless.
Although, I got a sign from God today. I was going to get some pot...But the guys bolted. That sucked...But, I guess it means I shouldn't be doing drugs...Especially if I might be pregnant...Which makes me feel like shit for taking a few puffs of that cigarette...I probably just damned my baby that may or may not exist to retardation. However, I take that to mean that I should not be doing drugs and that I'm a bad and stupid person.
And I having nothing to do this weekend which sucks. I'm going to bored and alone. I hate being alone. Audrey is gone, my schoolmates are only at school friends and my boyfriend works. Boo. I should make new friends...Although, I have been making friends at school. Which I'm really really happy about. I'm not so lonely at school anymore...I mean, I still want a deeper connection with someone(anyone) but I'll settle for what I have.
