Mood: Scared
Listening to: Sounds of family togetherness(bickering, the dead turkey body being forced to dance)
Thanksgiving...It is upon my family. It's not like everyone goes all psycho-turkey obsessed...It's just mum tries to cook and my Grandma usually calls and everything is all family orientated. I miss my family. Not the one I was born into, the one I created of my own choice. I don't really think 'family' has much meeting unless you created it and sometimes it inclued the people that live in the same house as you and share DNA. I don't know if Grandma is going to call this year...I don't know if Thanksgiving is happening on my Dad's side. If it is...Do I want to go? Do I want to go now that I've discovered this whole new part of me and I openly accept it? Do I even want to tell him that about this part? The number one reason why I hate telling people that I'm lesbian is because they think that I'm a completely different person because of it. They think Oh my God! She does not have an attraction for males! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING ABOUT HER!!! In truth, no it doesn't!! It just means that I've found love in a less conventional place than some. I'm scared to tell him...I don't really want to be rejected by him more than I already have been. I mean, he's going to see me for the first time in 10 1/2 months...Nearly a year. What happens when I tell him? Will he freak? Will he be okay with it? Will he do what my mum did, say that he's okay with it but secretly try to set me up with everything he knows with a penis? Why worry? I might not even get to see him. I don't know though. If I do see him...I don't know how I'm going to tell him. I wasn't even going to tell my mum. My mum found out from two sources. THe first source was the entire school conspiring against me and watching me every moment so they saw me kiss Skye and reported it to my mother. The second source was Skye's mother had a hissy fit because she found out we were dating and tried to get my mum to throw a hissy fit too. My mum knows better than that though. She didn't want to make me 51/50 myself again. However, over the past*almost* 10 months she seems to have forgotten that she has a mental daughter and has comenced in blaming me for everything. But, c'est la vie. It doesn't matter, This day marks the downhill snowball to Christmas where everyone is wound so tightly I just wait for everything to explode. If I see my Dad's side...I'll let you know how it goes. If I don't, I'll let you know how it goes. You just can't seem to get rid of me:-p
