I cry through my skin.

Mood: Condemned, doomed, lonely
Listening to: Dishwasher

 It's been nearly a week since I've written...Not by my choice, but my browser kept telling me that this site was hacked and they had to take it offline. It seems like a million years since I've last written...Skye and I got into a spat yesterday...I cut my vein a bit and she saw it...And it upset her. I know it's stupid for me to fuel my self destructive habits...But when nobody finds out about it...Then it doesn't matter because it doesn't hurt anyone. Well, not anyone I care about at least. Her mother hates me. She's not allowed to see me because I 'distract her from her work'...Bullstars. I don't even talk to her outside of school!!!!!!!! I have a weird phone phobia so I don't call her(or anyone for that matter) and I don't live near enough to surprise her randomly with a visit. If she's distracted from her work it because of someone or something else...But not me. I hate how people want to seperate us. It's just mean...If we're meant to break up then we'll do it in our time...But this feels like it's meant to be...It feels like I really did find someone who loves me and wants me because of who I am not what. Why does God(or whatever you care to name the higher power...It's just the most convient term to use) hate me so much? Why does *s*he test me to the point of breaking? Does it give him/her some sick pleasure watching some stupid teenage girl cut herself and hate herself and majority of the people around her? So much for unbounded love and mercy...I know this is odd, but I don't believe in Satan. I don't believe that there is an absolute evil in anyone or anything. I believe that all this doing is a mixture of God's mischief and my own stupidity. Yay stupidity</3. It's Thanksgiving break now. Fun. I get 5 days locked away with my family and my own stupid habits. Maybe I'm just cranky because I've(on my own decision) not eaten for the past 3 days. Probably. And whoever reads this random nonsense is probably screaming at their computer IF YOU EAT, STUPID GIRL, THEN PERHAPS YOU WOULDN'T BE SO DEPRESSED ALL THE TIME!!! Well...Want to know what I have to say to that? ** I might get to see my dad this Thanksgiving...If I do, I'm going to tell him about Skye and me. He should know that his youngest daughter(unless he had another one...Which is entirely possiable) has a girlfriend rather than a boyfriend. If he throws a bunch of sh*t at me about it...I'll tell him that he doesn't have to worry about me getting pregnant...And then I will get out of the car and walk home. Oh, but two good things have happened. I'm going on to semifinals for my sophmore speech and I may have already one a million dollars.