Spat
I promised myself I'd never cry over a lover again...So what do I do? I g'head and cry over Ken. We got into a big spat last night and it was boarderline breaking up. I guess he's not used to dealing with people like me...Not too many folks are. He can't seem to understand that I don't think that people care about me...That's just a part of who I am and how I view the world. Here we are just two weeks into this whole deal...And I'm already mucking up. I can't believe that people care about me though...If I believe that then I might let down my guard and let them in...And then once they get inside they usually destroy me. I don't want to go through that again. I know it's not fair to lump him in with the rest...But, I don't yet have a reason to believe that he's different. He feels different...But, don't they all? No two people are the same...So of course he's going to feel different. He and I are okay now...But I think he's a little wary now. I just hope this doesn't turn out to be a huge deal. Why would it be? It's kind of a fact of life...I mean...I care about people, but I don't think people care about me. That's who I am. Love me as I am, or not at all...Right?
