Shit day
I'm really down today. I just had a shit day. I don't even get to see Audrey until Friday. I don't know what's up with me lately...I mean, I'm such a bitch to her...But I kinda want to spend time with her. I'm a bitch because of how much she criticizes me. I just don't think she understands how much that sort of thing kills me. My sister broke my old laptop...So mom bought me a new one. Which we really can't afford... So now we're probably going to starve because I'm a spoilt brat. I wish mom were more practical...She knows that we can spare $500 just to make me happy...Hell, hardly anyone can. I wouldn't have minded so terriably much without internet...I mean, I won't lie...I would have been sad but I would have lived.I've just felt like crying all day but the tears won't come. It seems to work that way a lot with me lately. I want to cry...My heart is breaking...But I can't. I'm really hating life...I don't know why. I don't know why. Everything is just another bad thing...Everything makes me want to scream, yell, and go jump off a cliff. Maybe it's just a bad day...Or maybe it's finally my period coming. I haven't had it in almost four months now...Which scares me. I know I'm not pregnant...I haven't had sex in more than four months...And last time I took the test it came back negative and I had it done professional. And then my love life is a mess as always...Skye wants back in touch with me...Then her friend Ginger apparantly wants to date me...And then there's David who is apparantly just too scared to get into a relationship and doesn't want to drag his drama into anything. I dunno...I just don't. I really really like David...But I don't know if I should wait around for him...Or if it's going to be worth it if I do. My heart hurts...Not like physical pain...The emotional pain that hurts just so much more.
