Party
I had my sweet sixteen party yesterday...I know I'm an ungreatful brat but I wish I hadn't. It was by far one of the worst I've ever had. I don't know what's wrong with me...But all those p[eople and all that energy at once...It was all so overwhelming and I just wanted to hide and cuddle with my new puppy. His name is Pyro(of course I named it) he's a sweet little chiuahua terrier mix...He came from an abusive past though so he's a bit scittish...But still...He's such a sweetie and I love him. He just about gave me a heartattack yesterday though...I was walking with Ken to the busstop and he wiggled free of his collar and ran RIGHT INTO ONCOMING TRAFFIC. Me being as special as I am..I ran right after him without stopping to look. Ken ran after us and ending up catching him as I struggled with boarderline heart failure. The actual party though...It was odd...Everyone seemed to have fun...That was good.I guess I was the only one that was being stupid and emo. Audrey and I got into a fight though...I just didn't want to be touched...I was being antisocial and she kept holding onto me...And I love her to bits and pieces...She's myh best friend...I just wasn't in the modd to be touched or restricted so I snapped at her and I really hurt her feelings which I felt bad for...And then SHE apologized this morning...Which was so backwards! I should have been apologizing! Which I did, of course, after she did...But I still did it. And Skye gave me a birthday card. This is the first time sicne getting over her that I've actually thought about her...I kind of miss her. Not because I still love her or anything...I just kinda miss what she and I had. I know I'm stupid...But I'm smart enough to know that the type of deep love we had doesn't come along very often. I wouldn't want it back...At least I wouldn't want HER back...I just want that feeling of knowing beyond a doubt that they're the person I want to spend the rest of my life with and I want to see every day of my life and know that no matter how much time I spend with them it won't quite be enough. I know I should be content with what I have...Ken's an amazing guy...And I know he really cares for me...And I really love him a lot. And I AM happy with it...It's just one of those things that once you had it...You miss it.
