Mood: Confused,hungry,ugly
Life confuses me. Last night Skye sent me an email about how she stl loves me...Which made me cry. I hate how she lies to me even though we've been broken up for over a month. I know I should be over her by now...But...I'm not. Which is bad...Because I'm somewhat being pushed into the dating world. A girl I sojmewhat have a crush on is coming to stay the weekend with me. It reallhy wouldn't be that bad if she didn't know and if she didn't like me more than I like her. I'm not being self absorbed by saying that...She tells me and she shows me in every way possiable how much she cares for me. It's really sweet...But, I'm worrieed about what might happen...Or what she expects to happen. I don't know...I know I want someone to love and to love me...But...I don't love her. Well, that's not quite true...I love her as a friend...But I'm not IN love with her. I don't know if she loves me or if she's in love with me...She's told me that she thinks we're meant to be one true loves...But, that doesn't necessarily mean she's in love with me...Does it? Last night was odd as well. Dad took me to firedance...All these guys showed up and kept talking to me. One invited me out on a date later that night. I couldn't say yes...He was in college. He didn't realize I'm onlu 15. It really sucks that no one MY age is interested in me. Well, that's not entirely true...The girl I'm hanging out with this weekend is very close to my age...She's 16. But, she doesn't live anywhere near me and I absolutely detest long distane relationships. Is that why I'm not in love with her? Because I don't want to be in a long istance relationship? This is just all so confusing. I want to say I'll let whatever happens happen...But, I can't. I really wish that there would be some sort of divine sign to show me what I'm supossed to do. I actually asked for one the other day on Beltane(religious holiday) and then the day after I run into an old flame. Then my almost crush is coming to stay over....Then I get asked out...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
