Lala
I spent the weekend with my best friend. It was kind of fun...But, depressing. Depressing because...She's so perfect, and she can't see it. I mean, she's absolutely GORGEOUS. She's tiny, has a nice face, amazing eyes...I'm completely envious of her. But...It's just sad...She can't see herself. She thinks she's fat...Which couldn't be farther from the truth. It's kind of funny, you know, how people really can't see themselves. They only see what they WANT to see. It's easier to apply to other people rather than yourself though...An example being, when a heavy girl wears tiny clothes and thinks she looks stunning in them...She sees herself that way no matter what we see. Although, it is a rather depressing concept to apply to oneself if someone has low self esteeme. We found a baby bird this weekend, my family and I, it was hurt...So we took it home. Then I spent the night over at my best friend's house and it died. I know it's stupid...But...I felt like I could have saved it if I'd been there. I know I couldn't have logically..If it was going to die...It was going to die...And that's all there is to it...But, there is still that thought that somehow MAYBE I could have done something. I guess I just want to think today...I really don't want to do anything...I just want to analyze the world. Maybe if I understand the world...It won't seem quite so harsh. Although...I must admitt that I'm thinking more about the future. I'm not sure why. I just want to know what's going to happen...I'm so uncertain...I'm not even sure if there is anything I want in the future...That's really the only reason why I'm here. For tomorrow...Or whenever the future is. Everyone assures me that it will get better...But...How do they know? Not every story has a happy ending...
