I cry through my skin.

 And cry...And rant...And make people understand that this is FAKE. You think my eating disorder is gone? I've just gotten better at hiding it. I throw up in a plastic bag and then put it in the dumpster! You think I've stopped hurting myself? Haven't you noticed all these bruises? Haven't you noticed I seem to burn myself cooking a lot? I'M NOT OKAY I'M NOT OKAY I'M NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Do you know WHY I'm not okay? Because I'm alone. Because nobody loves me. Because I'm useless and have no purpose in life and no talents. I'm not okay because I hate being home all the time...I need to go to school. I can't stay home...Staying home makes for an idle brain and an idle brain makes de[ression.  The only time you understand is when it's written in blood...The only time you understand is when I've stopped crying with tears and started to use a razor. The only time I understand why I'm so depressed about life...Is when I'm about to lose it.