Fucking Whore
I knew it. I fucking knew it! Doing anything beyond kissing...Heck, beyond hugging, makes me an insta-whore. Stupid myspace community thinks I'm a whore now...And they don't even know I slept with my boyfriend. Who the Hell opened their big mouth? I haven't told many people...Just two people who are my friends in real life(Audrey and Nicki) and a couple of internet friends. I should just go fucking kill myself! It wouldn't matter...Everyone thinks I'm just a stupid fat whore. Everyone at my old school thinks I'm already dead anyways. Not that it matters, I might as well be. No one gives a damn about me. What is the fucking point of living if all there is is people rubbing salt in your wounds. I hate my life so much right now...That feeling of absolute desolation and emptiness is back now...It'd gone away for a little while..But now it's back and trying to pull me ino it's suffocating depths.
I didn't tell, but here's my guess. So many people are immature (at least in Novato), and for whatever reason, some of those idiots don't like you. Why? Probably because you aren't a clone. Anyway, they're probably saying those things...things that many people would get upset about...trying to get a reaction out of you, and possibly trying to find out things...things that they could use to spread around. I'm guessing that you haven't told them, and since you haven't, they have no proof and just want to annoy you. Don't kill yourself. It doesn't help...remember how depressed I was after my best friend did? Well that's going to be how your friends react-and before you say anything, yes, you DO have friends. Besides...kissing and hugging doesn't make you a whore. He's your boyfriend, and you have the right to do that.