Mood: Pissed, suicidal
Guess what? I'm finally going back to school. But guess what else? I'm a fucking retard. I'm going to be in fucking resource. That is the ONE thing that I've never really questioned...I never thought I was stupid. I never thought that I couldn't do the same work as everyone else on my own like everyone else. I am a fucking idiot!!! I hate myself. I don't even deserve to fucking live. I should just go shoot myself now. I'd probably fuck that up too though because I'm so stupid I can't even get the most remedial of questions right! I'm a fucking idiot. Someone seriously needs to fucking kill me. I hate myself. No wonder people don't like me...I can't hold an intelligent conversation. No wonder I never have boyfriends...I'm too stupid for them. I take the stupid girl thing to a whole new level! I don't know WHY Ken's with me...I'm too stupid for him too. He'll probably dump my ass once he realizes my stupidity isn't just some cute act. Then I'll be alone and stupid. I'm just a fucking retard and I'm never going to get anywhere. It's not like I can even tell anyone...They'll all be so ashamed of me. I don't even know what Dad will think...Mom's reaction was bad enough. I don't know what my friend's will do...I have really smart friends...What will they think when they find out they befriend a fucking retard? I can't seem to get a break! God just wants me to go kill myself! Stupid people don't get anywhere in this world...Stupid people can't do anything big. Everything I ever wanted is now out of reach. Stupid people can't be novelists...They shouldn't be mother's...And they don't find their one true loves! Everything I wanted is GONE. It's for someone else to have and not me.
And your not stupid dammit. >.<
But I'm sure you're not stupid - your blog doesn't come across as such! I'm sure your bf doesn't think you're stupid either.