Fuck everything.
I hate myself so much. Why is it...That no matter how much I want to be liked, how much I want to make friends and be social that I just can't? Why is it that everyone always pays attention to Audrey instead. I know she's the beautiful one...Being perfectly thin with her big blue eyes...But am I that terriable? Why am I always ignored? Why am I so ugly? I hate myself...I really do...I want to be beautiful...But no matter how little I eat, or how much makeup put on...The mirror still shwos me a beast. So you know what? I give up on romance. Fuck this. Fuck love, fuck life, fuck men, fuck women...Fuck everyone. I don't need love...I don't need anything. Well, that's not true...I need my computer and my dog. Those I need. My computer is where I can say whatever and not get in trouble for how I feel. And my dog...He's the only one I know cares about me forever and always...He cares when I cry or when I hurt or if I cut and throw up or if I don't even eat at all. He cares. He's the only one. So...Fuck 'friends' fuck romance...FUck everything. I don't want it, I don't need it...I'm done with it. I'm done with everything...I'm done with life. I hope everyone who's been rooting for me to fail is happy now...I've failed. Miserablly.
I root for you to heal within and see that the whole popular and perfect thing is a lie.Their are "prefects" who cut themselves and wish they we're dead every day. Being what the world thinks it beautiful means nothing. I think your wonderful, and one day you'll see that your a pretty frikken spiffy kid.
You need anything in New York you let me know and I'll tell you where to go. I've lived here my whole life, and I know it's hard, but we're a nice state for the most part.