Fake
Everyone keeps saying...It's not the same, it will be different this time, he's different, he's changed. I don't understand people. How do they not understand that every guy, every person, every time is exactly the fucking same? Every life if the same as everyone elses. The world is made of the same person times a billion. You think you're an idividual, you think that you're doing something better or worse than everyone else...But you're not. I'm not. It's all the same. Life is a big fucking repeat. There's no such thing as love, as luck, as fate, or even death. You never die...Because people are all exactly the same. I really feel like just offing myself right about now...I'm no one special, I'm no one unique I'm fucking the same as everyone else. I've been so happy lately...And then today reality really hits me. I'm not going to New York, no one is ever going to love me because love doesn't really exist, I'm not going to be a famous writer, I'm not going to be beautiful and have a wonderful life. I'll never go anywhere...I was born here, I've lived here, and I'll die here. I was born alone, I've lived alone with breaks of companionship, but I will die as alone as I was born. I finally see what everyone has been trying to tell me all my life...The world sucks, I'm nothing special, and no one can ever love me. I might as well give my life to someone who will love it, who will think it's something special, and who won't figure out the truth. I'm tired of looking for a life that I can never have...That no one can ever have. No one is ever happy and no one is ever loved because none of those things exist.
