Deathwish...
Mood: Suicidal
Skye called me last night...Now SHE'S in the crisis center for cutting her wrists and going to the nuthouse. FUCKING GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is it every time I do something stupid SOMEONE has to do the same thing? I was so close to just cutting my stupid, fat wrists today....I have a blade to do it with even. I found an old box cutter in my closet and disassembled that. Someone cut me to ribbons so that I don't have to do it myself! She actually asked me back out...I told her to wait until after she's out of the hospital. A lot of things change after you've been in the looney bin...I don't know if she'll still love me or still want me after going there.
I'm so sick of stupid drama. Life sucks. Everyone keeps telling me things will get better...You know what I say? BULL! Things are never going to get better! I'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life. There is no happiness allowed with depression. Depression devours everything and sooner or later it will devour my life. Not that that really matters...I mean nobody gives a d@mn whether I live or die...They just act like they do because it's the thing to do. My life is of no meaning, I have done nothing for the world! I only take from it and put out terriable things. And for that, I must die. Not until Monday though....Because I can't ruin my little sister's birthday party or kill myself at home. Move quicker time...
