Death
I'm starting to develop a fear of death. I wouldn't mind if this were all there is.....I mean, if we die and that's it and this is the only chance we get to live...But, I don't feel like I'm living. I haven't done anything right yet...I mean, I'm 15 and I feel like I'm all alone in the world and it feels like I haven't done anything with the time I've spent here. I know logically that's not true...I mean, I've published quite a few poems, I've made friends whom I love with all my heart and soul...And I know what love is...But, it still feels like nothing. It feels like I'm wasting time...And that after this...I won't get another chance. You know, I don't think I was really waiting to start living this life...I was waiting to die so I can live my next life. But what if that doesn't happen? I've always had my beliefs...But, they're starting to waver...And that's terrifying for me...Because, even if I've never had anything else...I've always had my beliefs.I've always thought that I get to do it all again, but differently...On a clean slate, in a new body. But what if I don;t? What if I go down six feet under and stay there? I know humans create an afterlife so they won't get scared, and because they can't imagine nothing...I'm not so much scared of death, I'm just scared of wasting time. How do I start living though?
