I cry through my skin.

May 4, 2006 at 21:04 o\clock

Cut

by: CapturedMoonLight

Mood: Self injurious, depressed, borderline suicidal

 I want to cut so badly...I just want to pull apart my skin and let all my life bleed out. There is nothing in this world! What use is life if it brings nothing but pain? And that's all there is...Pain. I don't see any point in holding on. I don't see any reason to keep up the charade of smiles and joy. I should just slit my throat. Drown in my own blood..No one understands. No one cares. The point of life is to love...I loved...I keep loving. And all that happens is I keep getting hurt. No matter what...Around every corner...There is hurt. I always hurt. I can't think of anywhere to cut though! If I cut my wrists...They'll see and send me back to the hospital. I can't cut my breasts for fear of them checking. My mum keeps telling me she's going to send me to the gynocologist...And legs...That would just be stupid because it's short season and if I suddenly stop wearing shorts that'd look suspicious. Foot might be an option...But...Feet heal slowly...And I wear flipflops...I don't know...I just want to cut hard and deep and I feel like I have to.

Comments for this entry:

  1. Miss260903 wrote at May 4, 2006 at 21:22 o\clock:Please don\'t. I know that you don\'t know me & I don\'t know you but I have been where you are. I went through hell when I was younger. I know that you won\'t believe me, mainly because I didn\'t believe when I was in that pain either, but it does get easier to deal & one day you wake up & realize the pain isn\'t as bad as it was yesterday. I know the last thing you want is a total stranger telling you what to do & I hope you don\'t feel like that\'s what I\'m trying to do. I just hope that you can stop the impulse & just hold on.

    You will meet someone someday who not only loves you back unconditionally but actually deserves to be loved wholeheartedly by you. They will lucky to have you in their lives. Stay strong \'Moonlight\'. If you want to talk....Feel free to email me. I\'ll answer it. You can even email to tell me to bug off.



    A concerned reader,

    ~Teri~
  2. shellbug773 wrote at May 4, 2006 at 22:14 o\clock:... just hold on. One day at a time.


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