I cry through my skin.

 Ugh...Boys! They're just....So impossiable to understand. One minute they'll be flirting the next they seem totally zoned out. Normally, this would bother me to the point of mild obsession...However, since this boy happens to be my boyfriend...It boggles my brain and makes me want to scream. I dunno, this rant isn't completely random...But it's probably fueled by the fact that I'm angry at myself. I had eaten only 100 calories today...And then I went ahead and stuffed my face with at least 180 more. I feel disgusting...And fat. I know nobody cares what my body looks like...But I do. I really care. I want to be one of the beautiful girls...And I can't be beautiful AND fat. It's one or the other...Just like I can't be half sane and in a relationship. I guess the sensible choice would be to stay single and be fat...But those don't make me happy. I'll be happy when I'm thin, I just know I will.