I cry through my skin.

Mood: Suicidal

 If I could go back and change it all...I would. If I could have just taken more pills...Or if I could have just cut deeper...ANYTHING...Anything just so I would have to feel like this. This fucking hurts! I want to cut myself to ribbons, I want to throw up until there's nothing left...I just want to disappear. I want everything to go away. I'm never going to get to see Jordan again...Never. Not that it matters because at some point I'll probably wind up getting in a shitload of trouble for the fake name. All I want...Is to be with him. I'd give everything in a heartbeat for it. But his mom frickin' hates me and so I can't. I'm sorry I messed up, I've realized this. I'm trying my best to make it better. I just want to be able to touch him again, to be with him once more...That's all. And I'm never going to get that...So I'd rather be fucking dead.