I cry through my skin.

Mood: Suicidal and depressed.

 You know, I don't really think I'm human. I must be an alien put here as a sick and twisted joke. I can't relate to what people tell me...I don't understand how they're all so happy in this world that has so many things wrong with it. I don't really think I'm being pessemistic...I just can't believe I'm the exact same as everyone else. I feel so different, so isolated...It doesn't make sense that I'm from the same planet as the rest of these people. People like to see other people get hurt, people like to be mean, they like to make eachother cry...I don't understand that. I don't understand how anyone can possiably get any type of joy from that...Yet, they do. Why is it I feel so different? I always feel like everyone is watching me...Waiting for me to screw up again. It's almost like they can see right through me, see into the torments of my soul and they think it's funny. I don't understand any of this, logically I know none of this is so.

 On the bright side, Skye isn't going to Bootcamp. On the not bright side...I don't think she wants to be with me anymore. I know this is fickle, I always talk about her...But, I'm just feeling really insecure and unloved. I'm not going to Rainbow's End today...Group therapy doesn't appeal to me...I might actually talk about how I'm feeling. I don't want to tell anyone that. The only reason why I can write about how I feel in here is because I really don't think anyone wastes their time reading this. Blah, I just feel really sad...Really alone...And really isolated. I feel like death is my only answer yet I know this isn't so. Logic means little to depression though...I just want all the pain to stop.