Addiction.
Shit finally hit the fan today and now Jordan knows everything. He knows about everything I've done...He was pissed. He yelled and screamed but it was because he was hurt. He was hurt because I was doing shit behind his back and because I didn't talk to him about it. He was hurt that I was lying to him when he's never been anything honest with me. But how could I talk to him? How could I tell him that I'd lost control and lost who I was?...I couldn't. I tried to tell him that I needed help and he told me that yeah I did but I didn't need rehab. I was just depressed. Yes I'm depressed, but I fucking lost control. I lost myself and everything that I am...Is gone. I need to become someone or something again...I need to be able to do something. I need to get away from all this...But I need his help.
