Audrey and I got into a fight yesterday. It sucks. She just doesn't understand why one person isn't enough for me. She's my best friend, but she doesn't understand me. I can't have just one person...If there's only one person then when that person is busy, or I'm mad at them, or have an issue I can't talk about to them, then I'm alone. And since I only have one person, I'm alone. I have Audrey. I have Pyro too but I can't go to the movies with him, can't go shopping, can't take him as a date to the dance...I'm so tired of being single! I could have a boyfriend if I wanted one...I could have Kevin. Or I could have Rebecca for a girlfriend. But I want someone I feel something for...I want someone I can truely love. I really miss Ken...He was a good guy. The only reason why I'm thinking about him is because I'm probably chilling with Thomas this weekend. Thomas was that guy I met last Summer at the fair that I really liked because he made me feel special then he turned out to be a two faced asshole. I'm still sick, which is why I'm being so bitchy. Or maybe I'll get my period on time for once! As in...Maybe have one every month? Wouldn't that be something.
I'm just so tired...I'm tired of everything. I'm still where I was a year ago...I still haven't gotten any better...Just stupider. I still cry all the time, I'd still give myself wholly to love at any cost(although I hate to admit it), I hate eating, I cut, I throw up...All of it. All of it and more. I want a cigarette, but no, I can't have one because I'm trying to quit for Audrey. It's been about a week without a cigarette, I wish I had some over eighteen friends that would just buy me a pack.
